A GOOD FRIEND TEST!
This is GOOD...It made me giggle! Comment if you agree with what it says! Or if you have had good friends like these in your life.
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself
and doesn't feel even the least bit weird shutting your
'beer/Pepsi drawer' with her foot!
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend's shoulder is soggy from your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
A simple friend hates it when you call after they've gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it!
A simple friend thinks the friend ship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight.
A simple friend expects you to always be there for
them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!
A simple friend reads this blog and then moves on.
A real friend leaves a comment and then passes it on!
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Getting to Know you (begins singing the song from "The King and I")
Explain something to me, cause I'd really like to know.
Lets say that you have a friend on MySpace, okay? Now this particular friend, you don't know them very well, but you want to get to know them better. They seem to be a really cool person and you just want to make a new friend. Now, here's the catch: They check their MySpace everyday, read your blogs, etc... but they actually could care less about having a MySpace and therefore don't respond to messages. Now, you aren't priveledged to have their other contact info since they don't like messaging on MySpace you are pretty much screwed.
What is the point of having a MySpace if you never contact anyone? If you never actually write someone just to see how the weather is or to talk about the latest movie. I understand if you have a life, if you are busy or what not... But if you have time to be reading my blogs, please try to make the time to write me. Yeah you are getting to know me better, beginning to regret adding me as a friend, at least extend me the same courtesy. I don't care what we talk about, as long as some semblance of a conversation occurs. That or give me your e-mail.
My e-mail for anyone who may or may not need it is : dauntfreesparro18@yahoo.com
Complicated I know... or you could have this one : broken_rivers@hotmail.com
that is less complex.
JUST LET ME GET TO KNOW YOU!!
Lets say that you have a friend on MySpace, okay? Now this particular friend, you don't know them very well, but you want to get to know them better. They seem to be a really cool person and you just want to make a new friend. Now, here's the catch: They check their MySpace everyday, read your blogs, etc... but they actually could care less about having a MySpace and therefore don't respond to messages. Now, you aren't priveledged to have their other contact info since they don't like messaging on MySpace you are pretty much screwed.
What is the point of having a MySpace if you never contact anyone? If you never actually write someone just to see how the weather is or to talk about the latest movie. I understand if you have a life, if you are busy or what not... But if you have time to be reading my blogs, please try to make the time to write me. Yeah you are getting to know me better, beginning to regret adding me as a friend, at least extend me the same courtesy. I don't care what we talk about, as long as some semblance of a conversation occurs. That or give me your e-mail.
My e-mail for anyone who may or may not need it is : dauntfreesparro18@yahoo.com
Complicated I know... or you could have this one : broken_rivers@hotmail.com
that is less complex.
JUST LET ME GET TO KNOW YOU!!
Contradiction
This is the one of the oldest poems I have in the ones I've written. I wrote this because of the 9/11/2001 incident.
I was 12 when the towers went down and I was 13 when I finally wrote this. Even now, though you can probably tell it is rather child-like in the way it is written, I am proud of it. I think it had some insights that most 13 year olds don't have. So enjoy it or hate it or whatever.
Contradiction (10/21/01)
I've seen war, I've seen peace.
I've seen sadness, I've seen happiness.
Sometimes I ask myself, why war, why
sadness? But then I realize that we
must have those things to have peace
with God. War with Satan to free myself
from this dark cell. Sadness that I
sin. Happiness that I'm forgiven.
And peace that I live with Him.
I was 12 when the towers went down and I was 13 when I finally wrote this. Even now, though you can probably tell it is rather child-like in the way it is written, I am proud of it. I think it had some insights that most 13 year olds don't have. So enjoy it or hate it or whatever.
Contradiction (10/21/01)
I've seen war, I've seen peace.
I've seen sadness, I've seen happiness.
Sometimes I ask myself, why war, why
sadness? But then I realize that we
must have those things to have peace
with God. War with Satan to free myself
from this dark cell. Sadness that I
sin. Happiness that I'm forgiven.
And peace that I live with Him.
Insanity Here-In (you have been warned)
Sam sent 5/31/2008 9:43 PM:
Alright
Sam says:
So that blog...
Dauntless says:
oh right
Dauntless says:
sorry
Dauntless says:
i got distracted, one sec
Sam says:
That's fine
Dauntless says:
May 30th, 2008
Okay, so I talked to my mom today (as I do most days) and as most of you know by now, my mom and my step-father are going through a pretty nasty divorce. Well, attempting to go through a pretty nasty divorce. We began discussing how the divorce is affecting each of us in different emotional and physical ways.
Dauntless says:
As some of you may or may not know, My younger sister, Hannah Joy, has Tourette's Syndrome (No, she doesn't randomly shout cuss words! I get so sick of people asking me that. But believe it or not that only happens in about 2% of people that have Tourette's). As only a few who knew me when it happened know, Bad things happen when my sister gets into a bad spell.
Dauntless says:
Last time she almost died from being to scared to eat (this was right after my grandfather passed away and at the luncheon afterward my cousin, Jonathan, almost joined him because he began to choke on something Hannah had given him to eat.) afraid that she would choke to death.
Dauntless says:
Also with her Tourette's she has a tendency to repeat one phrase over and over "I'm Scared", during this time she will often check herself for a heartbeat and a fever, because to have a fever or to suddenly have her heart stop beating scares her the most.
Dauntless says:
She had been doing really well since she almost died, she has gotten back to a healthy weight (even though she is still rather thin for her age) and had completely stopped saying she was scared. She had even gotten over her fear of storms, electric plug-ins, gunfire and other various things.
Dauntless says:
According to mom, the behaviour has started again because of the stress with dad not living at home and the divorce going on.
Dauntless says:
Christopher has his own issues, but because my brother reads my blogs and would kill me, I'm not going to mention them here. But obviously the divorce and my dad's seeming disinterest in having anything more to do with us is affecting him as well. As much as he denies it, He too loves Dad.
Dauntless says:
Then there is me. When I'm overly stressed I have severe break outs all over my fingers. Which is both painful and itchy. This year has been especially horrorific for that type of thing (i have even resorted to dipping my hands in Vodka to keep the itching to a minimum since my hands are basically open wounds and water blisters).
Dauntless says:
Mom believes that all of these things are a sign from God saying that He doesn't want Wes and Her to be divorced. That He wants them to be together and for us to be a "family".
Dauntless says:
So what does my mother do? She calls my step-father. And "repents".
Yes, she "repented" of her sins and asked him to move back in and for the divorce proceedings to stop.
Dauntless says:
If you could see me now you would be able to tell that i'm attempting to leash this anger that is welling up. My step-father's response, you may ask? "You have to prove to me that things will be different"
Dauntless says:
WHAT THE FUCK!? She has to PROVE to Him that things will be different?! My mother has to change so that he can keep acting like an asshole/jerk to her. She has to accomodate him, not be as "nagging" or "disrespectful" to him.
Dauntless says:
Show him LOVE and then, maybe she will receive it. Which makes NO sense to me at all. Mom says, "Men never change". Which isn't true. Men can change, but there is usually a woman willing to change just to keep him happy.
Dauntless says:
So my mom gets her husband back. What a shitty husband he is being right now. And don't get me wrong. The man raised me, took care of me for 15 of my 20 years, I love him very much, but Damn it all to Hell if I'm going to stand by and let him treat my mother like dirt!!!
Dauntless says:
This isn't right, it isn't fair and until he changes I feel like they should proceed with the divorce. But thats just me... Maybe I'm the one in the wrong?
Dauntless says:
Sorry to unleash my anger and frustration out on you all, but I just can't get over the fact that SHE has to change because HE won't. That isn't right.
I refuse to change who I am to accomodate someone who obviously doesn't love me enough to make an effort to change on his part.
Dauntless says:
If that means I never marry, so be it. If that means I never date again, so be it. But I Refuse to be treated like my mom has allowed herself to be treated. We deserve better. And how can any young boys grow up to respect women if the women aren't willing to take a stand for themselves?
Dauntless says:
How can little boys grow up to be anything but Assholes if they see their fathers doing it and Mom letting it happen!?
Dauntless says:
Men can change, they just don't want to. And women make it possible for them never to have to.
Sam says:
Well done! Bravo!
Dauntless says:
Yeah, i let all my wrath go on that one...
Dauntless says:
i was really pissed
Sam says:
I'm sure you wanted to say more but I have a feeling you didn't quite feel like writing more
Dauntless says:
pretty much
Sam says:
It wasn't all that wrathlike
Sam says:
It could have had more fuck and bitch and shit
Sam says:
lol
Dauntless says:
true... but i just didn't feel like cussing
Dauntless says:
well not that much
Sam says:
Ah
Dauntless says:
and i told my mom "you aren't allowed to read my blog"
Dauntless says:
because i said curse words in it
Sam says:
Oh come on
Sam says:
I cuss around my parents now
Dauntless says:
She'll probably do it anyway
Sam says:
ANd they can't do anything about it
Dauntless says:
lol
Sam says:
I'm 19
Sam says:
your 19
Sam says:
What is she gonna do?
Dauntless says:
nothing, except scold
Sam says:
Drive down there and slap you?
Dauntless says:
and frankly i don't care if she scolds anymore...
Sam says:
Yeah
Sam says:
It's your life!
Dauntless says:
yeah, you are saying the same things Fawny's been saying to me
Dauntless says:
lol
Sam says:
And she knows you're an adult now.
Sam says:
She knows you're all the way down there and you don't need to be treated like a kid anymore
Sam says:
And she needs to remember that you can cuss and drink and smoke and do drugs and get laid as much as you FUCKING like.
Sam says:
Because she's not there anymore
Sam says:
and you are not there anymore
Sam says:
and she should now consider your opinion just as important as anyone else's
Sam says:
Hell, she should consider your opinion just as important as God's
Sam says:
You're a product of divine intervention with a touch of lust and soul-death/rebirth
Sam says:
If she really believes in "signs from God" she should take the fact that you were born as a sign from God
Sam says:
and thus everything you say is somehow connected to this Unnamed God
Sam says:
Yeah that was pretty corny
Sam says:
Can you tell I just ate?
Dauntless says:
wow. My roomies are practically applauding you right about now. Arlin says Amen and Fawny says Damn Straight. and no i can't
Dauntless says:
can't tell that you just ate that is
Sam says:
I'm a little more animated
Dauntless says:
ah, is that what it is?
Sam says:
And tell them thank you
Sam says:
Or are they being sarcastic?
Dauntless says:
no they were being serious
Sam says:
I can never tell in typeface
Dauntless says:
they've been trying to tell me the same damn thing since i got her
Dauntless says:
*here
Dauntless says:
actually, since before I got here
Sam says:
Well, I'm fairly good at making connections like that
Dauntless says:
i wonder why i hadn't noticed before now?
Dauntless says:
anyway... so how was the cookout?
Sam says:
It was good
Sam says:
We played crokket and night crokket and ate burgers
Sam says:
The burgers were good
Dauntless says:
yum
Dauntless says:
is "crokket" anything like croquet?
Sam says:
Considering I haven't had a home-grilled burger for six months
Sam says:
Yeah
Sam says:
I don't know how to spell it
Dauntless says:
okay... i love croquet as well
Sam says:
I lost both times
Dauntless says:
aw
Dauntless says:
my dad always wins when we play
Sam says:
but I won the season's first game
Sam says:
Dad won the first but lost the second
Sam says:
i think...
Sam says:
I can't remember
Sam says:
and that less than thirty minutes ago
Dauntless says:
lol... well it sounds like you had fun
Sam says:
Yeah
Sam says:
I usually do
Dauntless says:
I am currently posting blogs on my website...
Dauntless says:
and being stupid
Dauntless says:
thats about it
Sam says:
I see
Dauntless says:
uh huh
Dauntless says:
I decided that all 300 some of my poems needed to be online
Dauntless says:
in case anything happened to my hard copies
Sam says:
I don't think you should do that hun
Dauntless says:
I have a right click disabler on my sites
Sam says:
How do you do that?
Dauntless says:
it gave me the option when i signed up
Sam says:
oh
Dauntless says:
Yeah, there are ways to protect your stuff
Dauntless says:
and no one really knows that my site exists
Dauntless says:
which kind of sucks, but anyway
Sam says:
what's your site?
Dauntless says:
www.freewebs.com/dauntlesssparrow
Sam says:
I WILL FAVORITE IT TO MY BROWSER
Dauntless says:
lol
Dauntless says:
you don't have to do that
Dauntless says:
lol
Sam says:
I will anyway
Dauntless says:
Well I thank thee most kindly
Dauntless says:
*hug*
Sam says:
Agh...
Sam says:
I hate the blue streamer thingies...
Dauntless says:
sorry
Dauntless says:
i am in the process of getting rid of them
Sam says:
They give me a headache
Dauntless says:
as i said, in the process of getting rid of them
Sam says:
Ok
Sam says:
just as long as you DON"T keep them
Dauntless says:
yeah
Dauntless says:
i'm not
Dauntless says:
i am tired of them
Sam says:
Thank God
Sam says:
So, how did you like my little speel on God and such?
Sam says:
Or was it honestly already taken?
Dauntless says:
I liked it... I felt kind of overwhelmed. I was like "wow, sam is really in it tonight"
Dauntless says:
and was just in awe of your insight
Sam says:
Aren't I normally in?
Dauntless says:
yes, but this was a different kind of In
Sam says:
No, tonight I just ate
Sam says:
In astronomy I haven't eaten for a little while and in study time I'm a little tired
Sam says:
I'm good right now
Dauntless says:
ah
Sam says:
I'm down right screwy right now
Sam says:
Yeah
Sam says:
Awe huh?
Dauntless says:
yeppers
Sam says:
like "Wow...She's good..." awe?
Dauntless says:
yes
Sam says:
Hang on
Dauntless says:
like awe
Sam says:
Let me bask in the glory of this
Sam says:
ok
Dauntless says:
let me know when you have had your fill of basking, lol
Sam says:
I'm good now
Sam says:
But seriously
Sam says:
Your mom I think might be thinking a tiny bit overboard
Dauntless says:
distinct possibility
Sam says:
Well if she believed anything I just said, then yeah, deffinitely.
Sam says:
...
Sam says:
You should put me on your blog.
Dauntless says:
lol
Dauntless says:
I can blog the entire conversation!
Dauntless says:
lol
Sam says:
Well you could but I don't know if you should
Sam says:
might be boring to the reader
Dauntless says:
maybe... but who cares about the reader? if i wanna remember the conversation the reader can get over it... lo
Dauntless says:
*lol
Dauntless says:
its all cook
Sam says:
yes
Sam says:
Very cook
Dauntless says:
bleh, my stomach hurts
Sam says:
I'm sorry
Sam says:
Have you pooped today?
Dauntless says:
What a question, lol
Dauntless says:
Yes actually, I have
Dauntless says:
thank you for asking
Dauntless says:
*dies laughing*
Sam says:
Ok
Sam says:
just checking
Sam says:
I mean your bowel movements are extremely important to me
Dauntless says:
Are you trying to make the conversation better in case I decide to blog it?
Sam says:
No
Sam says:
You said your stomach was hurting!
Sam says:
There are normally at least two things you can ask a person because of that
Sam says:
One, have you eaten, and two, have you pooped
Sam says:
It's just common sense man
Sam says:
er...girl!
Dauntless says:
you've got me giggle-snorting like mad over here
Dauntless says:
i'm about to die from laughing so hard
Sam says:
Oh that is so cook
Sam says:
I hope you don't
Dauntless says:
*dies laughing again*
Sam says:
Well...wait
Sam says:
If you die laughing, that's a good thing
Sam says:
It's better than dying of chronic respiratory failure
Dauntless says:
yes, yes it is.
Sam says:
Yes
Sam says:
Go ahead!
Sam says:
Die LAUGHING
Dauntless says:
No, I think I'm good now
Sam says:
But it's the best way to die!
Sam says:
You want to die laughing, like in that freaked out play your friends were in.
Dauntless says:
which freaked out play was this?
Sam says:
We are all laughing and crying and saying that everything would be alright!
Dauntless says:
oh that
Sam says:
*cough cough*
Dauntless says:
I was confused
Dauntless says:
sorry
Sam says:
Well yeah, they were all quite freaked out weren't they?
Dauntless says:
yes, yes they were, but it took me a moment to realize you were talking about that one
Sam says:
Where's your freaking blog?
Dauntless says:
On my website?
Dauntless says:
Its called Illuminati Literati Poetic
Sam says:
Whereever you put it...
Dauntless says:
My other blog is on my myspace... which is private...
Sam says:
I didn't know you had my story on here...
Dauntless says:
yeppers
Sam says:
Er...well your stroy
Sam says:
story*
Dauntless says:
i titled it for you
Dauntless says:
so its yours
Dauntless says:
i wrote it for you
Dauntless says:
i tried to clean it up a bit
Sam says:
Thanks, but I don't deserve to be credited with it is what I mean
Sam says:
You wrote it, so it's yours
Dauntless says:
true... I dedicate it to you
Dauntless says:
therefore it is OURS
Sam says:
Sara has a very professional page
Dauntless says:
yes she does
Sam says:
Except for her blue font
Sam says:
That's not very professional
Dauntless says:
lol
Sam says:
Where'd she get it?
Sam says:
Oh don't tell me...
Sam says:
Him
Dauntless says:
you know, i have no idea
Sam says:
She's been drawing recently
Dauntless says:
well thats good... i haven't looked at the page in a few days...
Dauntless says:
so i have no clue about what it looks like
Sam says:
oh wait
Sam says:
nevermind
Sam says:
She hasn't updated this site since 2005
Dauntless says:
no thats when it was copyrighted
Dauntless says:
its been updated a couple of times since then
Dauntless says:
The page has definitely changed since she first got it
Sam says:
hmmm
Sam says:
I wouldn't know
Sam says:
I want my own website!
Dauntless says:
Well Freewebs is free
Dauntless says:
and pretty easy to create
Sam says:
I don't know
Sam says:
I wouldn't put anything on it
Dauntless says:
well that does kinda defeat the purpose of having it
Sam says:
I know
Sam says:
So are you going to put this on your blog?
Dauntless says:
I think I might
Dauntless says:
it makes me giggle
Sam says:
I see
Sam says:
Where are you going to put it?
Dauntless says:
Probably on my myspace and my site... Though I don't usually put this kind of thing on my site, i might anyway...
Dauntless says:
If i post it on myspace Gackt is going to read it
Sam says:
I know this is going to sound awful, but could you be so kind as to change my e-mail to "Sam"
Dauntless says:
Thats what I was going to do
Sam says:
Ok
Sam says:
I mean all of it
Dauntless says:
I know
Sam says:
please put Sam
Dauntless says:
I will
Dauntless says:
don't worry
Dauntless says:
gosh
Sam says:
My e-mail is the name Mandi can only use with me
Sam says:
it's like my code name
Dauntless says:
I kinda figured... it doesn't matter anyway, because when you write me it shows up as Sam because thats the name I gave you
Dauntless says:
did you read what I said about Gackuto?
Sam says:
Ok
Sam says:
no
Sam says:
where is it?
Dauntless says:
Gackt Reads my blogs on Myspace!
Dauntless says:
which means, if i post this there, he's going to read it
Dauntless says:
thought you might like to know
Sam says:
Oh that
Sam says:
whatever.
Dauntless says:
what do you mean whatever?! so if it was Klaha you would still be like "oh, whatever"
Dauntless says:
?
Sam says:
I'm sure he has better things to do with his time than read my rantings
Sam says:
Yeah
Dauntless says:
well he reads my rantings
Dauntless says:
and if you are in my rantings
Dauntless says:
he's going to read it
Sam says:
Ok
Sam says:
I'm not a big fan, I hardly listen to his music
Dauntless says:
uh huh
Sam says:
What?
Dauntless says:
jfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjffjfjjfjfjffjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjjfjfjfjffjjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjjfjfjfjfjffjfjjj
Dauntless says:
i'm not here
Dauntless says:
i'm possessed
Dauntless says:
i think
Dauntless says:
maybe not
Sam says:
...
Dauntless says:
exorcisim
Dauntless says:
thats a nice thing
Sam says:
...
Dauntless says:
...
Sam says:
...
Dauntless says:
....
Sam says:
...
Dauntless says:
.....
Sam says:
I will keep putting ... until you're done
Dauntless says:
okay
Dauntless says:
i may never be done
Dauntless says:
i'm strange like that
Dauntless says:
i thin
Dauntless says:
*think
Sam says:
heh
Dauntless says:
i am so NOT thin
Dauntless says:
bleh
Dauntless says:
this is cook
Dauntless says:
i like talking to myself
Sam says:
ok
Dauntless says:
hello self
Dauntless says:
hello
Sam says:
I see that
Dauntless says:
how are you?
Dauntless says:
i'm good
Dauntless says:
you?
Dauntless says:
i'm good
Dauntless says:
sam is going to kill me
Sam says:
lol
Dauntless says:
raelly?
Dauntless says:
*really?
Sam says:
No
Sam says:
Why would she kill you?
Dauntless says:
she says no, but i'm sure this is annoying
Dauntless says:
annoyed
Dauntless says:
that is why she would kill me
Dauntless says:
or us
Dauntless says:
whichever
Dauntless says:
or maybe she'll just kill you
Dauntless says:
and leave me be
Dauntless says:
did you ever think of that?
Dauntless says:
no, actually i didn't
Sam says:
ooooo
Sam says:
served
Dauntless says:
*evil laughter ensues*
Sam says:
Pause for breath no
Sam says:
w
Dauntless says:
*pause*
Dauntless says:
*starts laughing again*
Dauntless says:
you know what?
Dauntless says:
what?
Dauntless says:
This is very entertaining
Sam says:
I see
Dauntless says:
and we are running out of oxygen from laughing so hard
Sam says:
To you
Dauntless says:
maybe we should stop?
Dauntless says:
idk
Sam says:
Maybe
Dauntless says:
i feel like gollum and smeagol
Sam says:
I'm getting a little bored
Sam says:
heh
Dauntless says:
This preciousssss isssss mines!
Dauntless says:
lets talk to sssssamsss precious
Dauntless says:
she is getting bored
Dauntless says:
*strokes your hair*
Dauntless says:
precioussssss
Dauntless says:
good precioussss
Sam says:
um...
Sam says:
Could you not do that...
Dauntless says:
why? precioussss? we loves the preciousss... good ssssam, we loves the precious sammsssss
Sam says:
Um...
Sam says:
Bye.
Dauntless says:
NO!
Dauntless says:
don't leave me!
Sam says:
lol
Dauntless says:
*cries*
Sam says:
I knew that was gonna happen
Sam says:
Ever heard of the Pillows?
Sam says:
The Pillows?
Dauntless says:
yes, yes I have
Sam says:
Well?
Dauntless says:
Fawny calls them evil
Sam says:
ok
Dauntless says:
I've never sat down and listened to them
Sam says:
Why does she say that?
Dauntless says:
(Fawn) Because, everyone who is a non-Jrock enthusist thinks that the band is THE JAPANESE BAND... they suck, even for a trite jpop band trying to be jrock... they suck... well they suck as much as ROMANTICA... (don't even ask who they are... you DON'T want to know).
Dauntless says:
*enthusiast
Dauntless says:
and that would be my lovely roommate
Dauntless says:
isn't she nice?
Sam says:
I like some of their stuff though
Dauntless says:
(Fawn) Well then... Let me take some time out of my busy schedule to show you what REAL Jrock is... and not some pussy ass pop shit trying to be Jrock...
Sam says:
I mean they're definitely not great
Sam says:
Some of their stuff is ok
Sam says:
and I have no desire right now to listen to anything
Dauntless says:
Okay
Dauntless says:
She suggests "Art of Life" by X-Japan
Dauntless says:
when you are in the mood
Sam says:
It won't really matter because either way I don't listen to the lyrics but just the sound.
Sam says:
They design their sound differently than others
Dauntless says:
well thats cook
Sam says:
and they were choosen to be a part of Flooly Cooly for a reason
Dauntless says:
Flooly Cooly?
Sam says:
They weren't meant to be anything special beyond the soundtrack in my opinion
Sam says:
It's a good anime
Dauntless says:
ah
Sam says:
You would find it amusing
Dauntless says:
probably
Sam says:
freakin expensive though
Sam says:
they want a lot of money for the thing
Sam says:
and it's only six episodes
Dauntless says:
wow
Dauntless says:
that kinda sorta sucks
Dauntless says:
majorly
Sam says:
it was kind of supposed to be an OVA or movie sort of thing
Dauntless says:
ah...
Sam says:
You have to watch them in order to get it
Sam says:
and even then sometimes you have to watch again to get any of it
Sam says:
it's a very different anime
Dauntless says:
well i will put it on the list of things to see before i die *puts it down on the list* damn, thats getting to be a really long list.... *ponders this* oh well... (and none of that is sarcastic, btw)
Sam says:
oh
Sam says:
well
Sam says:
I guess I should go buy that sometime
Dauntless says:
its all most midnight there sam. i hope i'm not keeping you up to late
Dauntless says:
?
Dauntless says:
??
Dauntless says:
???
Dauntless says:
????
Dauntless says:
Sam?
Sam says:
sorry
Sam says:
I'm talking to Mandi at the same time
Dauntless says:
oh
Dauntless says:
tell her i said hello
Sam says:
Ok
Sam says:
She's probably online
Dauntless says:
on msn?
Sam says:
she does the same thing you do
Sam says:
No
Sam says:
yahoo
Dauntless says:
She said she was getting rid of it
Sam says:
She didn't
Sam says:
just because she says she will doesn't mean she does
Sam says:
she still has it
Dauntless says:
ah
Dauntless says:
well i'm sfdawertrvhghnhnhhjnmmjruietgw31576bsgh567dhjyuigasr afdyrhwtvfdhe5b
Sam says:
I see
Dauntless says:
sorry. idk what happened there
Sam says:
I have the idea that means tired
Dauntless says:
that too
Dauntless says:
but i'm not going to bed yet
Sam says:
lol
Dauntless says:
if i do... i'll be up again
Dauntless says:
cause my tummy hurts
Sam says:
I see
Dauntless says:
yeppers
Sam says:
You should take of that
Sam says:
That stomach
Dauntless says:
"Doko ni yukeba ii anata to hanarete"
Sam says:
You should go to the doctor and tell to take it out
Sam says:
...
Sam says:
You expect me to know what that means?
Dauntless says:
yes, i'll definitely go to the dr and say "hey, my stomach hurts, take the damn thing out"
Dauntless says:
and no
Dauntless says:
i don't expect you to know what that means
Dauntless says:
its a line from X-Japan's Tears
Dauntless says:
it says "Where Should I go? We're Drifting apart"
Dauntless says:
I felt like saying it
Dauntless says:
not to you, but someone else
Dauntless says:
and well, i can't
Dauntless says:
so i said it to you
Sam says:
I see
Sam says:
Sara?
Sam says:
Or your family?
Dauntless says:
Both
Dauntless says:
and a few others
Sam says:
Or someone else?
Sam says:
ah
Dauntless says:
Had some bad dreams last night
Dauntless says:
and i think it has to do with that
Sam says:
Mew?
Dauntless says:
I dreamt about my friend (well, Ex-friend) Tony (the married black man i went to prom with)
Sam says:
ah
Sam says:
Haven't seen him ever since he left
Sam says:
You should have went to prom with me
Dauntless says:
I should've
Dauntless says:
that would've been cook
Dauntless says:
lol
Sam says:
Oh yeah
Sam says:
I went as a guy with Mandi and Dana
Dauntless says:
i know you did
Dauntless says:
lol
Sam says:
I had fun at this one more than the last one
Sam says:
It was a little better
Sam says:
the post prom was better
Dauntless says:
you told me you danced with a cute girl
Sam says:
Yeah the girl who wanted to dance like the samba with close contact but no movement
Sam says:
yeah
Sam says:
That interesting
Dauntless says:
lol
Dauntless says:
"Ikoku no sora mitsumete kodoku wo dakishimeta" = "I gazed at a foreign sky and embraced the loneliness" (or at least thats what the video says it means) Fawny didn't say it was wrong, so I guess it must be somewhat accurate. I know that "dakishimeta" means embrace because Gackt uses it in almost every song he sings
Dauntless says:
He is always embracing/holding someone
Dauntless says:
and they are always leaving him
Dauntless says:
its very sad
Sam says:
I'm sorry
Dauntless says:
I guess women are also untrustworthy
Sam says:
Maybe that guy needs a hug
Dauntless says:
i think he does
Sam says:
most people are untrustworthy
Dauntless says:
true
Dauntless says:
which is the reason that I have no one
Sam says:
huh?
Dauntless says:
nothing
Dauntless says:
nvm
Sam says:
no one as in person to love?
Dauntless says:
i guess so
Sam says:
for your own?
Dauntless says:
idk
Dauntless says:
i'm lonesome i guess
Sam says:
ah
Sam says:
I see
Dauntless says:
i want to be with someone, but i'm to scared to be with someone... and with everything going on w/mom and dad i just really never want to ever get married
Dauntless says:
or have anything really to do with men period
Dauntless says:
I can't trust either of my fathers
Dauntless says:
so how can I trust any other men?
Dauntless says:
which fawn says is dumb reasoning
Dauntless says:
idk
Dauntless says:
i'm rambling
Dauntless says:
ignore me
Sam says:
No
Sam says:
It's good reasoning
Sam says:
It takes time to feel for a person and the fact that you are cautious is one of your best personality features
Sam says:
You were scarred by your fathers' performance in your life
Sam says:
You have no reason to think that men are any better at trust and love than lowlife criminals
Dauntless says:
i guess not
Sam says:
it takes time to get past fear Sarai
Sam says:
I should know
Dauntless says:
well, i act all brave, all strong and really i'm terrified. i give great advice, but i can't take it. i'm so scared of what people will see behind the facade i've set up
Sam says:
Heh
Sam says:
Aren't we all
Sam says:
We are taught as children to be as everyone else
Sam says:
it didn't matter if we wanted to be ourselves inside
Sam says:
and so we wrapped ourselves carefully to hide the delicateness within
Sam says:
We try so hard to be what everyone else wants us to be, that we become afraid of what would happen if we slipped for just a moment, just once
Dauntless says:
yeah
Dauntless says:
i guess i just thought that i had overcome all this stuff
Dauntless says:
but my parent's divorcing is bringing/stirring up all my old fears, all my insecurities
Dauntless says:
everything
Sam says:
No one overcomes years of hatred, greed, distrust and unhappiness
Sam says:
not without several years of trying
Dauntless says:
yeah
Dauntless says:
you're right.
Dauntless says:
i just kinda wish it wasn't like that
Dauntless says:
well i don't kinda wish
Dauntless says:
i DO wish
Dauntless says:
"if wishes were horses beggars would ride"
Sam says:
Yeah
Sam says:
That is a good quote
Dauntless says:
and we are back with Sarai and Sam on "Deep discussion" Radio
Dauntless says:
todays topic: Getting over shit in the past
Dauntless says:
lol
Sam says:
lol
Sam says:
Wow
Dauntless says:
pretty much
Dauntless says:
one day we should have our own radio program
Dauntless says:
it would entertain
Dauntless says:
and annoy
Dauntless says:
lol
Sam says:
No
Sam says:
I can't talk like this in real life Sarai
Sam says:
I have a speech problem
Dauntless says:
i know, you've told me
Dauntless says:
i couldn't do it eiterh
Dauntless says:
*either
Sam says:
No, I think you could if you really wanted to be an actress
Dauntless says:
i could only do it if i was acting. i can't be honest or at least not having it be known that its honest
Dauntless says:
if i was acting, everyone would think it was the acting
Dauntless says:
not honesty
Dauntless says:
so i can be honesty hidden under the facade of dishonesty
Sam says:
Acting should not be different from honesty
Sam says:
a good actor or artist does not use "acting"
Sam says:
they use honesty
Dauntless says:
which is why i'll probably never make a "good" actress
Dauntless says:
i'll always be second rate
Dauntless says:
to scared to be "honest"
Sam says:
If you can be honest in your feelings, but use those feelings to make lies believable, then you will be worthy of academy awards
Sam says:
It takes a lot of work
Sam says:
but you can do it
Sam says:
You just have to act natural
Dauntless says:
i'm glad that you have faith in me....
Dauntless says:
SQUEE!
Dauntless says:
lol
Sam says:
he
Sam says:
heh
Sam says:
the icon
Sam says:
lol
Sam says:
wow
Dauntless says:
i know
Dauntless says:
i'm so strange
Dauntless says:
lol
Dauntless says:
http://i214.photobucket.com/albums/cc64/Makos_girl_13/rose.jpg
Dauntless says:
this is a guy named Rose
Dauntless says:
I thinks he is cute
Dauntless says:
he is from a band called "The TRAX", well formerly of... now he is in a different band called the "Romantists"
Dauntless says:
in The TRAX he had platinum blonde hair
Sam says:
I see
Sam says:
He looks like a girls
Sam says:
girl*
Dauntless says:
yeah... most guys who have been in Visual Kei look like girls
Dauntless says:
lol
Sam says:
Well he does
Dauntless says:
i know
Dauntless says:
and i like him anyway
Sam says:
I can barely tell if his collar bone goes down
Dauntless says:
lol
Dauntless says:
well trust me, its a guy
Dauntless says:
a very beautiful guy
Dauntless says:
Fawny says that he is the World's Greatest tragedy
Dauntless says:
Because he was born with a penis
Sam says:
...
Dauntless says:
though she refuses to believe he has a penis
Dauntless says:
which is funny if you ask me
Sam says:
ok
Sam says:
That's a little strange
Dauntless says:
yeah
Dauntless says:
hold on, i'll show you why she says that
Sam says:
ok
Sam says:
Is this gonna be gross by any chance?
Dauntless says:
no
Dauntless says:
not gross
Sam says:
ok
Sam says:
wait
Sam says:
brb again
Dauntless says:
kk
Sam says:
My legs hurt.
Dauntless says:
i'm sorry
Sam says:
Ok
Dauntless says:
that must suck
Sam says:
now what were sending?
Dauntless says:
http://s84.photobucket.com/albums/k18/dauntfreesparro18/random%20people/?action=view¤t=rose12.jpg
Dauntless says:
that
Dauntless says:
Rose when he was in The TRAX
Sam says:
ok
Dauntless says:
why Fawny calls him the greatest world tragedy
Sam says:
whoa
Dauntless says:
yeah
Dauntless says:
thats a man
Dauntless says:
She says he makes her feel bad for being a girl
Sam says:
He's almost as bad as Shinya of Dir En Grey
Dauntless says:
lol, i know right?
Sam says:
Yeah
Sam says:
He makes me feel bad too
Sam says:
If a guy can do better than me at being a girl then I must not be a very good girl.
Dauntless says:
exactly
Sam says:
I don't see how that's a tragedy though
Dauntless says:
that he was born with a penis... something that pretty should apparently have a vagina instead... idky its a tragedy, but it is to Fawny
Sam says:
ok
Dauntless says:
yepp
Dauntless says:
Depp
Dauntless says:
Johnny!!
Dauntless says:
lol
Sam says:
yes
Sam says:
Jonny Depp
Sam says:
...
Sam says:
Drool*
Dauntless says:
*drools as well*
Dauntless says:
*floods keyboard*
Dauntless says:
oops
Dauntless says:
O.O
Sam says:
lol
Sam says:
um
Sam says:
That might be bad
Dauntless says:
x.x
Dauntless says:
just a little
Dauntless says:
barely worth mentioning of course
Dauntless says:
e_e
Dauntless says:
x_x
Dauntless says:
o_o
Dauntless says:
I is making faces at you!
Dauntless says:
O.o
Sam says:
I see that
Dauntless says:
o.O
Dauntless says:
O.O
Dauntless says:
o.o
Dauntless says:
Lol
Dauntless says:
it makes me giggle
Sam says:
I see
Dauntless says:
yeppers
Dauntless says:
I want to go and watch Sweeney Todd now... damn it
Sam says:
ok
Dauntless says:
*.*
Sam says:
why not?
Dauntless says:
because it would require going and finding the disk and making arlin move the tv back out into the living room
Dauntless says:
neither of which he is going to do now
Dauntless says:
because he hurts
Dauntless says:
and is going to bed
Dauntless says:
nigh nigh don'tcha kno
Sam says:
ah
Sam says:
what time is it there?
Dauntless says:
i don't know why i suddenly resorted to baby talk there, i apologize
Dauntless says:
11:29pm
Sam says:
Really?
Dauntless says:
yep
Dauntless says:
which means its 12:29am there
Sam says:
it's almost 1 here
Sam says:
yep
Dauntless says:
time differences, aren't they just the bees knees?
Dauntless says:
giggle-snort
Sam says:
oh yeah
Sam says:
Definitely
Dauntless says:
cook
Dauntless says:
so cook
Dauntless says:
lol
Sam says:
heh
Sam says:
Well, my screwy period is winding down I'm afraid
Sam says:
I'm getting tired
Dauntless says:
okey dokey
Dauntless says:
go night night
Dauntless says:
and i will speak at thee later
Sam says:
ok
Sam says:
good night Sarai
Dauntless says:
night Sam
Sam says:
I hope I was helpful and such
Dauntless says:
yeppers
Dauntless says:
I is much happier
Dauntless says:
lol
Dauntless says:
seriously though, thanks for listening/reading
Sam says:
Don't close the window until you save the convo
Dauntless says:
i really appreciate it
Sam says:
Yeah
Dauntless says:
i won't
Dauntless says:
lol
Sam says:
You did it for me
Dauntless says:
Yeah
Dauntless says:
Night love
Sam says:
night love
Alright
Sam says:
So that blog...
Dauntless says:
oh right
Dauntless says:
sorry
Dauntless says:
i got distracted, one sec
Sam says:
That's fine
Dauntless says:
May 30th, 2008
Okay, so I talked to my mom today (as I do most days) and as most of you know by now, my mom and my step-father are going through a pretty nasty divorce. Well, attempting to go through a pretty nasty divorce. We began discussing how the divorce is affecting each of us in different emotional and physical ways.
Dauntless says:
As some of you may or may not know, My younger sister, Hannah Joy, has Tourette's Syndrome (No, she doesn't randomly shout cuss words! I get so sick of people asking me that. But believe it or not that only happens in about 2% of people that have Tourette's). As only a few who knew me when it happened know, Bad things happen when my sister gets into a bad spell.
Dauntless says:
Last time she almost died from being to scared to eat (this was right after my grandfather passed away and at the luncheon afterward my cousin, Jonathan, almost joined him because he began to choke on something Hannah had given him to eat.) afraid that she would choke to death.
Dauntless says:
Also with her Tourette's she has a tendency to repeat one phrase over and over "I'm Scared", during this time she will often check herself for a heartbeat and a fever, because to have a fever or to suddenly have her heart stop beating scares her the most.
Dauntless says:
She had been doing really well since she almost died, she has gotten back to a healthy weight (even though she is still rather thin for her age) and had completely stopped saying she was scared. She had even gotten over her fear of storms, electric plug-ins, gunfire and other various things.
Dauntless says:
According to mom, the behaviour has started again because of the stress with dad not living at home and the divorce going on.
Dauntless says:
Christopher has his own issues, but because my brother reads my blogs and would kill me, I'm not going to mention them here. But obviously the divorce and my dad's seeming disinterest in having anything more to do with us is affecting him as well. As much as he denies it, He too loves Dad.
Dauntless says:
Then there is me. When I'm overly stressed I have severe break outs all over my fingers. Which is both painful and itchy. This year has been especially horrorific for that type of thing (i have even resorted to dipping my hands in Vodka to keep the itching to a minimum since my hands are basically open wounds and water blisters).
Dauntless says:
Mom believes that all of these things are a sign from God saying that He doesn't want Wes and Her to be divorced. That He wants them to be together and for us to be a "family".
Dauntless says:
So what does my mother do? She calls my step-father. And "repents".
Yes, she "repented" of her sins and asked him to move back in and for the divorce proceedings to stop.
Dauntless says:
If you could see me now you would be able to tell that i'm attempting to leash this anger that is welling up. My step-father's response, you may ask? "You have to prove to me that things will be different"
Dauntless says:
WHAT THE FUCK!? She has to PROVE to Him that things will be different?! My mother has to change so that he can keep acting like an asshole/jerk to her. She has to accomodate him, not be as "nagging" or "disrespectful" to him.
Dauntless says:
Show him LOVE and then, maybe she will receive it. Which makes NO sense to me at all. Mom says, "Men never change". Which isn't true. Men can change, but there is usually a woman willing to change just to keep him happy.
Dauntless says:
So my mom gets her husband back. What a shitty husband he is being right now. And don't get me wrong. The man raised me, took care of me for 15 of my 20 years, I love him very much, but Damn it all to Hell if I'm going to stand by and let him treat my mother like dirt!!!
Dauntless says:
This isn't right, it isn't fair and until he changes I feel like they should proceed with the divorce. But thats just me... Maybe I'm the one in the wrong?
Dauntless says:
Sorry to unleash my anger and frustration out on you all, but I just can't get over the fact that SHE has to change because HE won't. That isn't right.
I refuse to change who I am to accomodate someone who obviously doesn't love me enough to make an effort to change on his part.
Dauntless says:
If that means I never marry, so be it. If that means I never date again, so be it. But I Refuse to be treated like my mom has allowed herself to be treated. We deserve better. And how can any young boys grow up to respect women if the women aren't willing to take a stand for themselves?
Dauntless says:
How can little boys grow up to be anything but Assholes if they see their fathers doing it and Mom letting it happen!?
Dauntless says:
Men can change, they just don't want to. And women make it possible for them never to have to.
Sam says:
Well done! Bravo!
Dauntless says:
Yeah, i let all my wrath go on that one...
Dauntless says:
i was really pissed
Sam says:
I'm sure you wanted to say more but I have a feeling you didn't quite feel like writing more
Dauntless says:
pretty much
Sam says:
It wasn't all that wrathlike
Sam says:
It could have had more fuck and bitch and shit
Sam says:
lol
Dauntless says:
true... but i just didn't feel like cussing
Dauntless says:
well not that much
Sam says:
Ah
Dauntless says:
and i told my mom "you aren't allowed to read my blog"
Dauntless says:
because i said curse words in it
Sam says:
Oh come on
Sam says:
I cuss around my parents now
Dauntless says:
She'll probably do it anyway
Sam says:
ANd they can't do anything about it
Dauntless says:
lol
Sam says:
I'm 19
Sam says:
your 19
Sam says:
What is she gonna do?
Dauntless says:
nothing, except scold
Sam says:
Drive down there and slap you?
Dauntless says:
and frankly i don't care if she scolds anymore...
Sam says:
Yeah
Sam says:
It's your life!
Dauntless says:
yeah, you are saying the same things Fawny's been saying to me
Dauntless says:
lol
Sam says:
And she knows you're an adult now.
Sam says:
She knows you're all the way down there and you don't need to be treated like a kid anymore
Sam says:
And she needs to remember that you can cuss and drink and smoke and do drugs and get laid as much as you FUCKING like.
Sam says:
Because she's not there anymore
Sam says:
and you are not there anymore
Sam says:
and she should now consider your opinion just as important as anyone else's
Sam says:
Hell, she should consider your opinion just as important as God's
Sam says:
You're a product of divine intervention with a touch of lust and soul-death/rebirth
Sam says:
If she really believes in "signs from God" she should take the fact that you were born as a sign from God
Sam says:
and thus everything you say is somehow connected to this Unnamed God
Sam says:
Yeah that was pretty corny
Sam says:
Can you tell I just ate?
Dauntless says:
wow. My roomies are practically applauding you right about now. Arlin says Amen and Fawny says Damn Straight. and no i can't
Dauntless says:
can't tell that you just ate that is
Sam says:
I'm a little more animated
Dauntless says:
ah, is that what it is?
Sam says:
And tell them thank you
Sam says:
Or are they being sarcastic?
Dauntless says:
no they were being serious
Sam says:
I can never tell in typeface
Dauntless says:
they've been trying to tell me the same damn thing since i got her
Dauntless says:
*here
Dauntless says:
actually, since before I got here
Sam says:
Well, I'm fairly good at making connections like that
Dauntless says:
i wonder why i hadn't noticed before now?
Dauntless says:
anyway... so how was the cookout?
Sam says:
It was good
Sam says:
We played crokket and night crokket and ate burgers
Sam says:
The burgers were good
Dauntless says:
yum
Dauntless says:
is "crokket" anything like croquet?
Sam says:
Considering I haven't had a home-grilled burger for six months
Sam says:
Yeah
Sam says:
I don't know how to spell it
Dauntless says:
okay... i love croquet as well
Sam says:
I lost both times
Dauntless says:
aw
Dauntless says:
my dad always wins when we play
Sam says:
but I won the season's first game
Sam says:
Dad won the first but lost the second
Sam says:
i think...
Sam says:
I can't remember
Sam says:
and that less than thirty minutes ago
Dauntless says:
lol... well it sounds like you had fun
Sam says:
Yeah
Sam says:
I usually do
Dauntless says:
I am currently posting blogs on my website...
Dauntless says:
and being stupid
Dauntless says:
thats about it
Sam says:
I see
Dauntless says:
uh huh
Dauntless says:
I decided that all 300 some of my poems needed to be online
Dauntless says:
in case anything happened to my hard copies
Sam says:
I don't think you should do that hun
Dauntless says:
I have a right click disabler on my sites
Sam says:
How do you do that?
Dauntless says:
it gave me the option when i signed up
Sam says:
oh
Dauntless says:
Yeah, there are ways to protect your stuff
Dauntless says:
and no one really knows that my site exists
Dauntless says:
which kind of sucks, but anyway
Sam says:
what's your site?
Dauntless says:
www.freewebs.com/dauntlesssparrow
Sam says:
I WILL FAVORITE IT TO MY BROWSER
Dauntless says:
lol
Dauntless says:
you don't have to do that
Dauntless says:
lol
Sam says:
I will anyway
Dauntless says:
Well I thank thee most kindly
Dauntless says:
*hug*
Sam says:
Agh...
Sam says:
I hate the blue streamer thingies...
Dauntless says:
sorry
Dauntless says:
i am in the process of getting rid of them
Sam says:
They give me a headache
Dauntless says:
as i said, in the process of getting rid of them
Sam says:
Ok
Sam says:
just as long as you DON"T keep them
Dauntless says:
yeah
Dauntless says:
i'm not
Dauntless says:
i am tired of them
Sam says:
Thank God
Sam says:
So, how did you like my little speel on God and such?
Sam says:
Or was it honestly already taken?
Dauntless says:
I liked it... I felt kind of overwhelmed. I was like "wow, sam is really in it tonight"
Dauntless says:
and was just in awe of your insight
Sam says:
Aren't I normally in?
Dauntless says:
yes, but this was a different kind of In
Sam says:
No, tonight I just ate
Sam says:
In astronomy I haven't eaten for a little while and in study time I'm a little tired
Sam says:
I'm good right now
Dauntless says:
ah
Sam says:
I'm down right screwy right now
Sam says:
Yeah
Sam says:
Awe huh?
Dauntless says:
yeppers
Sam says:
like "Wow...She's good..." awe?
Dauntless says:
yes
Sam says:
Hang on
Dauntless says:
like awe
Sam says:
Let me bask in the glory of this
Sam says:
ok
Dauntless says:
let me know when you have had your fill of basking, lol
Sam says:
I'm good now
Sam says:
But seriously
Sam says:
Your mom I think might be thinking a tiny bit overboard
Dauntless says:
distinct possibility
Sam says:
Well if she believed anything I just said, then yeah, deffinitely.
Sam says:
...
Sam says:
You should put me on your blog.
Dauntless says:
lol
Dauntless says:
I can blog the entire conversation!
Dauntless says:
lol
Sam says:
Well you could but I don't know if you should
Sam says:
might be boring to the reader
Dauntless says:
maybe... but who cares about the reader? if i wanna remember the conversation the reader can get over it... lo
Dauntless says:
*lol
Dauntless says:
its all cook
Sam says:
yes
Sam says:
Very cook
Dauntless says:
bleh, my stomach hurts
Sam says:
I'm sorry
Sam says:
Have you pooped today?
Dauntless says:
What a question, lol
Dauntless says:
Yes actually, I have
Dauntless says:
thank you for asking
Dauntless says:
*dies laughing*
Sam says:
Ok
Sam says:
just checking
Sam says:
I mean your bowel movements are extremely important to me
Dauntless says:
Are you trying to make the conversation better in case I decide to blog it?
Sam says:
No
Sam says:
You said your stomach was hurting!
Sam says:
There are normally at least two things you can ask a person because of that
Sam says:
One, have you eaten, and two, have you pooped
Sam says:
It's just common sense man
Sam says:
er...girl!
Dauntless says:
you've got me giggle-snorting like mad over here
Dauntless says:
i'm about to die from laughing so hard
Sam says:
Oh that is so cook
Sam says:
I hope you don't
Dauntless says:
*dies laughing again*
Sam says:
Well...wait
Sam says:
If you die laughing, that's a good thing
Sam says:
It's better than dying of chronic respiratory failure
Dauntless says:
yes, yes it is.
Sam says:
Yes
Sam says:
Go ahead!
Sam says:
Die LAUGHING
Dauntless says:
No, I think I'm good now
Sam says:
But it's the best way to die!
Sam says:
You want to die laughing, like in that freaked out play your friends were in.
Dauntless says:
which freaked out play was this?
Sam says:
We are all laughing and crying and saying that everything would be alright!
Dauntless says:
oh that
Sam says:
*cough cough*
Dauntless says:
I was confused
Dauntless says:
sorry
Sam says:
Well yeah, they were all quite freaked out weren't they?
Dauntless says:
yes, yes they were, but it took me a moment to realize you were talking about that one
Sam says:
Where's your freaking blog?
Dauntless says:
On my website?
Dauntless says:
Its called Illuminati Literati Poetic
Sam says:
Whereever you put it...
Dauntless says:
My other blog is on my myspace... which is private...
Sam says:
I didn't know you had my story on here...
Dauntless says:
yeppers
Sam says:
Er...well your stroy
Sam says:
story*
Dauntless says:
i titled it for you
Dauntless says:
so its yours
Dauntless says:
i wrote it for you
Dauntless says:
i tried to clean it up a bit
Sam says:
Thanks, but I don't deserve to be credited with it is what I mean
Sam says:
You wrote it, so it's yours
Dauntless says:
true... I dedicate it to you
Dauntless says:
therefore it is OURS
Sam says:
Sara has a very professional page
Dauntless says:
yes she does
Sam says:
Except for her blue font
Sam says:
That's not very professional
Dauntless says:
lol
Sam says:
Where'd she get it?
Sam says:
Oh don't tell me...
Sam says:
Him
Dauntless says:
you know, i have no idea
Sam says:
She's been drawing recently
Dauntless says:
well thats good... i haven't looked at the page in a few days...
Dauntless says:
so i have no clue about what it looks like
Sam says:
oh wait
Sam says:
nevermind
Sam says:
She hasn't updated this site since 2005
Dauntless says:
no thats when it was copyrighted
Dauntless says:
its been updated a couple of times since then
Dauntless says:
The page has definitely changed since she first got it
Sam says:
hmmm
Sam says:
I wouldn't know
Sam says:
I want my own website!
Dauntless says:
Well Freewebs is free
Dauntless says:
and pretty easy to create
Sam says:
I don't know
Sam says:
I wouldn't put anything on it
Dauntless says:
well that does kinda defeat the purpose of having it
Sam says:
I know
Sam says:
So are you going to put this on your blog?
Dauntless says:
I think I might
Dauntless says:
it makes me giggle
Sam says:
I see
Sam says:
Where are you going to put it?
Dauntless says:
Probably on my myspace and my site... Though I don't usually put this kind of thing on my site, i might anyway...
Dauntless says:
If i post it on myspace Gackt is going to read it
Sam says:
I know this is going to sound awful, but could you be so kind as to change my e-mail to "Sam"
Dauntless says:
Thats what I was going to do
Sam says:
Ok
Sam says:
I mean all of it
Dauntless says:
I know
Sam says:
please put Sam
Dauntless says:
I will
Dauntless says:
don't worry
Dauntless says:
gosh
Sam says:
My e-mail is the name Mandi can only use with me
Sam says:
it's like my code name
Dauntless says:
I kinda figured... it doesn't matter anyway, because when you write me it shows up as Sam because thats the name I gave you
Dauntless says:
did you read what I said about Gackuto?
Sam says:
Ok
Sam says:
no
Sam says:
where is it?
Dauntless says:
Gackt Reads my blogs on Myspace!
Dauntless says:
which means, if i post this there, he's going to read it
Dauntless says:
thought you might like to know
Sam says:
Oh that
Sam says:
whatever.
Dauntless says:
what do you mean whatever?! so if it was Klaha you would still be like "oh, whatever"
Dauntless says:
?
Sam says:
I'm sure he has better things to do with his time than read my rantings
Sam says:
Yeah
Dauntless says:
well he reads my rantings
Dauntless says:
and if you are in my rantings
Dauntless says:
he's going to read it
Sam says:
Ok
Sam says:
I'm not a big fan, I hardly listen to his music
Dauntless says:
uh huh
Sam says:
What?
Dauntless says:
jfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjffjfjjfjfjffjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjjfjfjfjffjjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjjfjfjfjfjffjfjjj
Dauntless says:
i'm not here
Dauntless says:
i'm possessed
Dauntless says:
i think
Dauntless says:
maybe not
Sam says:
...
Dauntless says:
exorcisim
Dauntless says:
thats a nice thing
Sam says:
...
Dauntless says:
...
Sam says:
...
Dauntless says:
....
Sam says:
...
Dauntless says:
.....
Sam says:
I will keep putting ... until you're done
Dauntless says:
okay
Dauntless says:
i may never be done
Dauntless says:
i'm strange like that
Dauntless says:
i thin
Dauntless says:
*think
Sam says:
heh
Dauntless says:
i am so NOT thin
Dauntless says:
bleh
Dauntless says:
this is cook
Dauntless says:
i like talking to myself
Sam says:
ok
Dauntless says:
hello self
Dauntless says:
hello
Sam says:
I see that
Dauntless says:
how are you?
Dauntless says:
i'm good
Dauntless says:
you?
Dauntless says:
i'm good
Dauntless says:
sam is going to kill me
Sam says:
lol
Dauntless says:
raelly?
Dauntless says:
*really?
Sam says:
No
Sam says:
Why would she kill you?
Dauntless says:
she says no, but i'm sure this is annoying
Dauntless says:
annoyed
Dauntless says:
that is why she would kill me
Dauntless says:
or us
Dauntless says:
whichever
Dauntless says:
or maybe she'll just kill you
Dauntless says:
and leave me be
Dauntless says:
did you ever think of that?
Dauntless says:
no, actually i didn't
Sam says:
ooooo
Sam says:
served
Dauntless says:
*evil laughter ensues*
Sam says:
Pause for breath no
Sam says:
w
Dauntless says:
*pause*
Dauntless says:
*starts laughing again*
Dauntless says:
you know what?
Dauntless says:
what?
Dauntless says:
This is very entertaining
Sam says:
I see
Dauntless says:
and we are running out of oxygen from laughing so hard
Sam says:
To you
Dauntless says:
maybe we should stop?
Dauntless says:
idk
Sam says:
Maybe
Dauntless says:
i feel like gollum and smeagol
Sam says:
I'm getting a little bored
Sam says:
heh
Dauntless says:
This preciousssss isssss mines!
Dauntless says:
lets talk to sssssamsss precious
Dauntless says:
she is getting bored
Dauntless says:
*strokes your hair*
Dauntless says:
precioussssss
Dauntless says:
good precioussss
Sam says:
um...
Sam says:
Could you not do that...
Dauntless says:
why? precioussss? we loves the preciousss... good ssssam, we loves the precious sammsssss
Sam says:
Um...
Sam says:
Bye.
Dauntless says:
NO!
Dauntless says:
don't leave me!
Sam says:
lol
Dauntless says:
*cries*
Sam says:
I knew that was gonna happen
Sam says:
Ever heard of the Pillows?
Sam says:
The Pillows?
Dauntless says:
yes, yes I have
Sam says:
Well?
Dauntless says:
Fawny calls them evil
Sam says:
ok
Dauntless says:
I've never sat down and listened to them
Sam says:
Why does she say that?
Dauntless says:
(Fawn) Because, everyone who is a non-Jrock enthusist thinks that the band is THE JAPANESE BAND... they suck, even for a trite jpop band trying to be jrock... they suck... well they suck as much as ROMANTICA... (don't even ask who they are... you DON'T want to know).
Dauntless says:
*enthusiast
Dauntless says:
and that would be my lovely roommate
Dauntless says:
isn't she nice?
Sam says:
I like some of their stuff though
Dauntless says:
(Fawn) Well then... Let me take some time out of my busy schedule to show you what REAL Jrock is... and not some pussy ass pop shit trying to be Jrock...
Sam says:
I mean they're definitely not great
Sam says:
Some of their stuff is ok
Sam says:
and I have no desire right now to listen to anything
Dauntless says:
Okay
Dauntless says:
She suggests "Art of Life" by X-Japan
Dauntless says:
when you are in the mood
Sam says:
It won't really matter because either way I don't listen to the lyrics but just the sound.
Sam says:
They design their sound differently than others
Dauntless says:
well thats cook
Sam says:
and they were choosen to be a part of Flooly Cooly for a reason
Dauntless says:
Flooly Cooly?
Sam says:
They weren't meant to be anything special beyond the soundtrack in my opinion
Sam says:
It's a good anime
Dauntless says:
ah
Sam says:
You would find it amusing
Dauntless says:
probably
Sam says:
freakin expensive though
Sam says:
they want a lot of money for the thing
Sam says:
and it's only six episodes
Dauntless says:
wow
Dauntless says:
that kinda sorta sucks
Dauntless says:
majorly
Sam says:
it was kind of supposed to be an OVA or movie sort of thing
Dauntless says:
ah...
Sam says:
You have to watch them in order to get it
Sam says:
and even then sometimes you have to watch again to get any of it
Sam says:
it's a very different anime
Dauntless says:
well i will put it on the list of things to see before i die *puts it down on the list* damn, thats getting to be a really long list.... *ponders this* oh well... (and none of that is sarcastic, btw)
Sam says:
oh
Sam says:
well
Sam says:
I guess I should go buy that sometime
Dauntless says:
its all most midnight there sam. i hope i'm not keeping you up to late
Dauntless says:
?
Dauntless says:
??
Dauntless says:
???
Dauntless says:
????
Dauntless says:
Sam?
Sam says:
sorry
Sam says:
I'm talking to Mandi at the same time
Dauntless says:
oh
Dauntless says:
tell her i said hello
Sam says:
Ok
Sam says:
She's probably online
Dauntless says:
on msn?
Sam says:
she does the same thing you do
Sam says:
No
Sam says:
yahoo
Dauntless says:
She said she was getting rid of it
Sam says:
She didn't
Sam says:
just because she says she will doesn't mean she does
Sam says:
she still has it
Dauntless says:
ah
Dauntless says:
well i'm sfdawertrvhghnhnhhjnmmjruietgw31576bsgh567dhjyuigasr afdyrhwtvfdhe5b
Sam says:
I see
Dauntless says:
sorry. idk what happened there
Sam says:
I have the idea that means tired
Dauntless says:
that too
Dauntless says:
but i'm not going to bed yet
Sam says:
lol
Dauntless says:
if i do... i'll be up again
Dauntless says:
cause my tummy hurts
Sam says:
I see
Dauntless says:
yeppers
Sam says:
You should take of that
Sam says:
That stomach
Dauntless says:
"Doko ni yukeba ii anata to hanarete"
Sam says:
You should go to the doctor and tell to take it out
Sam says:
...
Sam says:
You expect me to know what that means?
Dauntless says:
yes, i'll definitely go to the dr and say "hey, my stomach hurts, take the damn thing out"
Dauntless says:
and no
Dauntless says:
i don't expect you to know what that means
Dauntless says:
its a line from X-Japan's Tears
Dauntless says:
it says "Where Should I go? We're Drifting apart"
Dauntless says:
I felt like saying it
Dauntless says:
not to you, but someone else
Dauntless says:
and well, i can't
Dauntless says:
so i said it to you
Sam says:
I see
Sam says:
Sara?
Sam says:
Or your family?
Dauntless says:
Both
Dauntless says:
and a few others
Sam says:
Or someone else?
Sam says:
ah
Dauntless says:
Had some bad dreams last night
Dauntless says:
and i think it has to do with that
Sam says:
Mew?
Dauntless says:
I dreamt about my friend (well, Ex-friend) Tony (the married black man i went to prom with)
Sam says:
ah
Sam says:
Haven't seen him ever since he left
Sam says:
You should have went to prom with me
Dauntless says:
I should've
Dauntless says:
that would've been cook
Dauntless says:
lol
Sam says:
Oh yeah
Sam says:
I went as a guy with Mandi and Dana
Dauntless says:
i know you did
Dauntless says:
lol
Sam says:
I had fun at this one more than the last one
Sam says:
It was a little better
Sam says:
the post prom was better
Dauntless says:
you told me you danced with a cute girl
Sam says:
Yeah the girl who wanted to dance like the samba with close contact but no movement
Sam says:
yeah
Sam says:
That interesting
Dauntless says:
lol
Dauntless says:
"Ikoku no sora mitsumete kodoku wo dakishimeta" = "I gazed at a foreign sky and embraced the loneliness" (or at least thats what the video says it means) Fawny didn't say it was wrong, so I guess it must be somewhat accurate. I know that "dakishimeta" means embrace because Gackt uses it in almost every song he sings
Dauntless says:
He is always embracing/holding someone
Dauntless says:
and they are always leaving him
Dauntless says:
its very sad
Sam says:
I'm sorry
Dauntless says:
I guess women are also untrustworthy
Sam says:
Maybe that guy needs a hug
Dauntless says:
i think he does
Sam says:
most people are untrustworthy
Dauntless says:
true
Dauntless says:
which is the reason that I have no one
Sam says:
huh?
Dauntless says:
nothing
Dauntless says:
nvm
Sam says:
no one as in person to love?
Dauntless says:
i guess so
Sam says:
for your own?
Dauntless says:
idk
Dauntless says:
i'm lonesome i guess
Sam says:
ah
Sam says:
I see
Dauntless says:
i want to be with someone, but i'm to scared to be with someone... and with everything going on w/mom and dad i just really never want to ever get married
Dauntless says:
or have anything really to do with men period
Dauntless says:
I can't trust either of my fathers
Dauntless says:
so how can I trust any other men?
Dauntless says:
which fawn says is dumb reasoning
Dauntless says:
idk
Dauntless says:
i'm rambling
Dauntless says:
ignore me
Sam says:
No
Sam says:
It's good reasoning
Sam says:
It takes time to feel for a person and the fact that you are cautious is one of your best personality features
Sam says:
You were scarred by your fathers' performance in your life
Sam says:
You have no reason to think that men are any better at trust and love than lowlife criminals
Dauntless says:
i guess not
Sam says:
it takes time to get past fear Sarai
Sam says:
I should know
Dauntless says:
well, i act all brave, all strong and really i'm terrified. i give great advice, but i can't take it. i'm so scared of what people will see behind the facade i've set up
Sam says:
Heh
Sam says:
Aren't we all
Sam says:
We are taught as children to be as everyone else
Sam says:
it didn't matter if we wanted to be ourselves inside
Sam says:
and so we wrapped ourselves carefully to hide the delicateness within
Sam says:
We try so hard to be what everyone else wants us to be, that we become afraid of what would happen if we slipped for just a moment, just once
Dauntless says:
yeah
Dauntless says:
i guess i just thought that i had overcome all this stuff
Dauntless says:
but my parent's divorcing is bringing/stirring up all my old fears, all my insecurities
Dauntless says:
everything
Sam says:
No one overcomes years of hatred, greed, distrust and unhappiness
Sam says:
not without several years of trying
Dauntless says:
yeah
Dauntless says:
you're right.
Dauntless says:
i just kinda wish it wasn't like that
Dauntless says:
well i don't kinda wish
Dauntless says:
i DO wish
Dauntless says:
"if wishes were horses beggars would ride"
Sam says:
Yeah
Sam says:
That is a good quote
Dauntless says:
and we are back with Sarai and Sam on "Deep discussion" Radio
Dauntless says:
todays topic: Getting over shit in the past
Dauntless says:
lol
Sam says:
lol
Sam says:
Wow
Dauntless says:
pretty much
Dauntless says:
one day we should have our own radio program
Dauntless says:
it would entertain
Dauntless says:
and annoy
Dauntless says:
lol
Sam says:
No
Sam says:
I can't talk like this in real life Sarai
Sam says:
I have a speech problem
Dauntless says:
i know, you've told me
Dauntless says:
i couldn't do it eiterh
Dauntless says:
*either
Sam says:
No, I think you could if you really wanted to be an actress
Dauntless says:
i could only do it if i was acting. i can't be honest or at least not having it be known that its honest
Dauntless says:
if i was acting, everyone would think it was the acting
Dauntless says:
not honesty
Dauntless says:
so i can be honesty hidden under the facade of dishonesty
Sam says:
Acting should not be different from honesty
Sam says:
a good actor or artist does not use "acting"
Sam says:
they use honesty
Dauntless says:
which is why i'll probably never make a "good" actress
Dauntless says:
i'll always be second rate
Dauntless says:
to scared to be "honest"
Sam says:
If you can be honest in your feelings, but use those feelings to make lies believable, then you will be worthy of academy awards
Sam says:
It takes a lot of work
Sam says:
but you can do it
Sam says:
You just have to act natural
Dauntless says:
i'm glad that you have faith in me....
Dauntless says:
SQUEE!
Dauntless says:
lol
Sam says:
he
Sam says:
heh
Sam says:
the icon
Sam says:
lol
Sam says:
wow
Dauntless says:
i know
Dauntless says:
i'm so strange
Dauntless says:
lol
Dauntless says:
http://i214.photobucket.com/albums/cc64/Makos_girl_13/rose.jpg
Dauntless says:
this is a guy named Rose
Dauntless says:
I thinks he is cute
Dauntless says:
he is from a band called "The TRAX", well formerly of... now he is in a different band called the "Romantists"
Dauntless says:
in The TRAX he had platinum blonde hair
Sam says:
I see
Sam says:
He looks like a girls
Sam says:
girl*
Dauntless says:
yeah... most guys who have been in Visual Kei look like girls
Dauntless says:
lol
Sam says:
Well he does
Dauntless says:
i know
Dauntless says:
and i like him anyway
Sam says:
I can barely tell if his collar bone goes down
Dauntless says:
lol
Dauntless says:
well trust me, its a guy
Dauntless says:
a very beautiful guy
Dauntless says:
Fawny says that he is the World's Greatest tragedy
Dauntless says:
Because he was born with a penis
Sam says:
...
Dauntless says:
though she refuses to believe he has a penis
Dauntless says:
which is funny if you ask me
Sam says:
ok
Sam says:
That's a little strange
Dauntless says:
yeah
Dauntless says:
hold on, i'll show you why she says that
Sam says:
ok
Sam says:
Is this gonna be gross by any chance?
Dauntless says:
no
Dauntless says:
not gross
Sam says:
ok
Sam says:
wait
Sam says:
brb again
Dauntless says:
kk
Sam says:
My legs hurt.
Dauntless says:
i'm sorry
Sam says:
Ok
Dauntless says:
that must suck
Sam says:
now what were sending?
Dauntless says:
http://s84.photobucket.com/albums/k18/dauntfreesparro18/random%20people/?action=view¤t=rose12.jpg
Dauntless says:
that
Dauntless says:
Rose when he was in The TRAX
Sam says:
ok
Dauntless says:
why Fawny calls him the greatest world tragedy
Sam says:
whoa
Dauntless says:
yeah
Dauntless says:
thats a man
Dauntless says:
She says he makes her feel bad for being a girl
Sam says:
He's almost as bad as Shinya of Dir En Grey
Dauntless says:
lol, i know right?
Sam says:
Yeah
Sam says:
He makes me feel bad too
Sam says:
If a guy can do better than me at being a girl then I must not be a very good girl.
Dauntless says:
exactly
Sam says:
I don't see how that's a tragedy though
Dauntless says:
that he was born with a penis... something that pretty should apparently have a vagina instead... idky its a tragedy, but it is to Fawny
Sam says:
ok
Dauntless says:
yepp
Dauntless says:
Depp
Dauntless says:
Johnny!!
Dauntless says:
lol
Sam says:
yes
Sam says:
Jonny Depp
Sam says:
...
Sam says:
Drool*
Dauntless says:
*drools as well*
Dauntless says:
*floods keyboard*
Dauntless says:
oops
Dauntless says:
O.O
Sam says:
lol
Sam says:
um
Sam says:
That might be bad
Dauntless says:
x.x
Dauntless says:
just a little
Dauntless says:
barely worth mentioning of course
Dauntless says:
e_e
Dauntless says:
x_x
Dauntless says:
o_o
Dauntless says:
I is making faces at you!
Dauntless says:
O.o
Sam says:
I see that
Dauntless says:
o.O
Dauntless says:
O.O
Dauntless says:
o.o
Dauntless says:
Lol
Dauntless says:
it makes me giggle
Sam says:
I see
Dauntless says:
yeppers
Dauntless says:
I want to go and watch Sweeney Todd now... damn it
Sam says:
ok
Dauntless says:
*.*
Sam says:
why not?
Dauntless says:
because it would require going and finding the disk and making arlin move the tv back out into the living room
Dauntless says:
neither of which he is going to do now
Dauntless says:
because he hurts
Dauntless says:
and is going to bed
Dauntless says:
nigh nigh don'tcha kno
Sam says:
ah
Sam says:
what time is it there?
Dauntless says:
i don't know why i suddenly resorted to baby talk there, i apologize
Dauntless says:
11:29pm
Sam says:
Really?
Dauntless says:
yep
Dauntless says:
which means its 12:29am there
Sam says:
it's almost 1 here
Sam says:
yep
Dauntless says:
time differences, aren't they just the bees knees?
Dauntless says:
giggle-snort
Sam says:
oh yeah
Sam says:
Definitely
Dauntless says:
cook
Dauntless says:
so cook
Dauntless says:
lol
Sam says:
heh
Sam says:
Well, my screwy period is winding down I'm afraid
Sam says:
I'm getting tired
Dauntless says:
okey dokey
Dauntless says:
go night night
Dauntless says:
and i will speak at thee later
Sam says:
ok
Sam says:
good night Sarai
Dauntless says:
night Sam
Sam says:
I hope I was helpful and such
Dauntless says:
yeppers
Dauntless says:
I is much happier
Dauntless says:
lol
Dauntless says:
seriously though, thanks for listening/reading
Sam says:
Don't close the window until you save the convo
Dauntless says:
i really appreciate it
Sam says:
Yeah
Dauntless says:
i won't
Dauntless says:
lol
Sam says:
You did it for me
Dauntless says:
Yeah
Dauntless says:
Night love
Sam says:
night love
Ding dong the Witch is Dead... (dA)
Journal Entry: Sat May 31, 2008, 2:33 PM
Out of sheer boredom and aggravation I'm writing here... No new works as of late and Its not only because my muse has taken off again, but also because I currently have no inspiration.
The only things that currently make me smile are two songs that I've been listening to a lot recently:
The TRAX cover of X-Japan's "Tears" [link]
and...
The TRAX song PARADOX [link]
Enjoy if you actually listen to them...
I'm off to read and lounge about.
Sarai Out
- Mood:
Irritated - Listening to: The GazettE
- Reading: Battle Royale by Koushun Takami
- Eating: Chocolate Cherry Cordial Kisses
- Drinking: Soda
Out of sheer boredom and aggravation I'm writing here... No new works as of late and Its not only because my muse has taken off again, but also because I currently have no inspiration.
The only things that currently make me smile are two songs that I've been listening to a lot recently:
The TRAX cover of X-Japan's "Tears" [link]
and...
The TRAX song PARADOX [link]
Enjoy if you actually listen to them...
I'm off to read and lounge about.
Sarai Out
Friday, May 30, 2008
By the Way (the latest developments with Fawny)
I promise that this will be the last new blog for May 30th, 2008.
The latest developments stand at this. Fawn is still in massive amounts of pain. Some research on Shingles has revealed that the mess that my hands have become is because I have the Shingles. Which I in turn gave to Fawn. Wasn't that just *so* nice of me?!
So currently I'm feeling rather guilty about giving it to her, even though i had no idea that i had it. I was certain that I would never get Shingles, because Chickenpox seemed to be the only thing that my immune system actually did its job and rid me of. Apparently not. So besides feeling guilty for "sharing the love" I am also feeling rather ill. The Shingles sucks. I suggest that none of you attempt to get it!! Not that you would try.
WHY CAN'T I EVER STAY HEALTHY?!
The latest developments stand at this. Fawn is still in massive amounts of pain. Some research on Shingles has revealed that the mess that my hands have become is because I have the Shingles. Which I in turn gave to Fawn. Wasn't that just *so* nice of me?!
So currently I'm feeling rather guilty about giving it to her, even though i had no idea that i had it. I was certain that I would never get Shingles, because Chickenpox seemed to be the only thing that my immune system actually did its job and rid me of. Apparently not. So besides feeling guilty for "sharing the love" I am also feeling rather ill. The Shingles sucks. I suggest that none of you attempt to get it!! Not that you would try.
WHY CAN'T I EVER STAY HEALTHY?!
5th Blog of the day... (ANGRY, again)
Sorry to all my people that subscribe. I just keep thinking of things that I want to blog about. *shrug*
Okay, so I talked to my mom today (as I do most days) and as most of you know by now, my mom and my step-father are going through a pretty nasty divorce. Well, attempting to go through a pretty nasty divorce. We began discussing how the divorce is affecting each of us in different emotional and physical ways.
As some of you may or may not know, My younger sister, Hannah Joy, has Tourette's Syndrome (No, she doesn't randomly shout cuss words! I get so sick of people asking me that. But believe it or not that only happens in about 2% of people that have Tourette's). As only a few who knew me when it happened know, Bad things happen when my sister gets into a bad spell. Last time she almost died from being to scared to eat (this was right after my grandfather passed away and at the luncheon afterward my cousin, Jonathan, almost joined him because he began to choke on something Hannah had given him to eat.) afraid that she would choke to death. Also with her Tourette's she has a tendency to repeat one phrase over and over "I'm Scared", during this time she will often check herself for a heartbeat and a fever, because to have a fever or to suddenly have her heart stop beating scares her the most. She had been doing really well since she almost died, she has gotten back to a healthy weight (even though she is still rather thin for her age) and had completely stopped saying she was scared. She had even gotten over her fear of storms, electric plug-ins, gunfire and other various things. According to mom, the behaviour has started again because of the stress with dad not living at home and the divorce going on.
Christopher has his own issues, but because my brother reads my blogs and would kill me, I'm not going to mention them here. But obviously the divorce and my dad's seeming disinterest in having anything more to do with us is affecting him as well. As much as he denies it, He too loves Dad.
Then there is me. When I'm overly stressed I have severe break outs all over my fingers. Which is both painful and itchy. This year has been especially horrific for that type of thing (i have even resorted to dipping my hands in Vodka to keep the itching to a minimum since my hands are basically open wounds and water blisters). Mom believes that all of these things are a sign from God saying that He doesn't want Wes and Her to be divorced. That He wants them to be together and for us to be a "family".
So what does my mother do? She calls my step-father. And "repents".
Yes, she "repented" of her sins and asked him to move back in and for the divorce proceedings to stop. If you could see me now you would be able to tell that i'm attempting to leash this anger that is welling up. My step-father's response, you may ask? "You have to prove to me that things will be different"
WHAT THE FUCK!? She has to PROVE to Him that things will be different?! My mother has to change so that he can keep acting like an asshole/jerk to her. She has to accomodate him, not be as "nagging" or "disrespectful" to him. Show him LOVE and then, maybe she will receive it. Which makes NO sense to me at all. Mom says, "Men never change". Which isn't true. Men can change, but there is usually a woman willing to change just to keep him happy.
So my mom gets her husband back. What a shitty husband he is being right now. And don't get me wrong. The man raised me, took care of me for 15 of my 20 years, I love him very much, but Damn it all to Hell if I'm going to stand by and let him treat my mother like dirt!!! This isn't right, it isn't fair and until he changes I feel like they should proceed with the divorce. But thats just me... Maybe I'm the one in the wrong?
But then to top it all off, my mother went to go and see a pastor whom I have dubbed "The cult leader". A very charismatic man who led the church that I grew up in. She went and spoke with him. I don't understand her reasons, but she did. She said it was painful to talk to him, but that he spoke truth to her and that he was right. I don't understand why she would even want to go anywhere near him after all the stuff that that church put us through, but oh well.
Sorry to unleash my anger and frustration out on you all, but I just can't get over the fact that SHE has to change because HE won't. That isn't right.
I refuse to change who I am to accommodate someone who obviously doesn't love me enough to make an effort to change on his part. If that means I never marry, so be it. If that means I never date again, so be it. But I Refuse to be treated like my mom has allowed herself to be treated. We deserve better. And how can any young boys grow up to respect women if the women aren't willing to take a stand for themselves? How can little boys grow up to be anything but Assholes if they see their fathers doing it and Mom letting it happen!?
Men can change, they just don't want to. And women make it possible for them never to have to.
Okay, so I talked to my mom today (as I do most days) and as most of you know by now, my mom and my step-father are going through a pretty nasty divorce. Well, attempting to go through a pretty nasty divorce. We began discussing how the divorce is affecting each of us in different emotional and physical ways.
As some of you may or may not know, My younger sister, Hannah Joy, has Tourette's Syndrome (No, she doesn't randomly shout cuss words! I get so sick of people asking me that. But believe it or not that only happens in about 2% of people that have Tourette's). As only a few who knew me when it happened know, Bad things happen when my sister gets into a bad spell. Last time she almost died from being to scared to eat (this was right after my grandfather passed away and at the luncheon afterward my cousin, Jonathan, almost joined him because he began to choke on something Hannah had given him to eat.) afraid that she would choke to death. Also with her Tourette's she has a tendency to repeat one phrase over and over "I'm Scared", during this time she will often check herself for a heartbeat and a fever, because to have a fever or to suddenly have her heart stop beating scares her the most. She had been doing really well since she almost died, she has gotten back to a healthy weight (even though she is still rather thin for her age) and had completely stopped saying she was scared. She had even gotten over her fear of storms, electric plug-ins, gunfire and other various things. According to mom, the behaviour has started again because of the stress with dad not living at home and the divorce going on.
Christopher has his own issues, but because my brother reads my blogs and would kill me, I'm not going to mention them here. But obviously the divorce and my dad's seeming disinterest in having anything more to do with us is affecting him as well. As much as he denies it, He too loves Dad.
Then there is me. When I'm overly stressed I have severe break outs all over my fingers. Which is both painful and itchy. This year has been especially horrific for that type of thing (i have even resorted to dipping my hands in Vodka to keep the itching to a minimum since my hands are basically open wounds and water blisters). Mom believes that all of these things are a sign from God saying that He doesn't want Wes and Her to be divorced. That He wants them to be together and for us to be a "family".
So what does my mother do? She calls my step-father. And "repents".
Yes, she "repented" of her sins and asked him to move back in and for the divorce proceedings to stop. If you could see me now you would be able to tell that i'm attempting to leash this anger that is welling up. My step-father's response, you may ask? "You have to prove to me that things will be different"
WHAT THE FUCK!? She has to PROVE to Him that things will be different?! My mother has to change so that he can keep acting like an asshole/jerk to her. She has to accomodate him, not be as "nagging" or "disrespectful" to him. Show him LOVE and then, maybe she will receive it. Which makes NO sense to me at all. Mom says, "Men never change". Which isn't true. Men can change, but there is usually a woman willing to change just to keep him happy.
So my mom gets her husband back. What a shitty husband he is being right now. And don't get me wrong. The man raised me, took care of me for 15 of my 20 years, I love him very much, but Damn it all to Hell if I'm going to stand by and let him treat my mother like dirt!!! This isn't right, it isn't fair and until he changes I feel like they should proceed with the divorce. But thats just me... Maybe I'm the one in the wrong?
But then to top it all off, my mother went to go and see a pastor whom I have dubbed "The cult leader". A very charismatic man who led the church that I grew up in. She went and spoke with him. I don't understand her reasons, but she did. She said it was painful to talk to him, but that he spoke truth to her and that he was right. I don't understand why she would even want to go anywhere near him after all the stuff that that church put us through, but oh well.
Sorry to unleash my anger and frustration out on you all, but I just can't get over the fact that SHE has to change because HE won't. That isn't right.
I refuse to change who I am to accommodate someone who obviously doesn't love me enough to make an effort to change on his part. If that means I never marry, so be it. If that means I never date again, so be it. But I Refuse to be treated like my mom has allowed herself to be treated. We deserve better. And how can any young boys grow up to respect women if the women aren't willing to take a stand for themselves? How can little boys grow up to be anything but Assholes if they see their fathers doing it and Mom letting it happen!?
Men can change, they just don't want to. And women make it possible for them never to have to.
More Hospital Adventures...
As some of you know, my roomie was in massive amounts of pain last night believing that her rib had popped out of place (this because it had been broken 6 years ago when she was pregnant). At around 10 or 11pm she started noticing that her abdomen was going numb, as well as her left arm and leg. She decided not to go last night, deciding to wait and see if it would get any better. She was up the entire night with the pain and the numbness.
I stayed up as late as possible with her, (until about 3:30am or so) and then got up at around 6:45am or so when she finally decided to go to the hospital.
We arrive at the hospital, Where we are seen almost immediately (WHERE WAS THIS COURTESY WHEN I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL!?). They take her blood pressure, we wait a little while and then the doctor comes in. He checks her out, poor baby was so sore that him just barely touching the skin where the pain was equaled excruciating. The doctor said that he belived that Fawny had Shingles (Adult chickenpox).
For those of you who don't know: Shingles is usually when you have had the chickenpox as a child (sometimes you don't even realize you had the pox because it manifested as a simple rash) and you never developed a tolerance for it. Shingles will hide out in the nerves of the body, starting with pain in the back and moving toward the front of the body. The pain usually appears a few days before the rash. It is almost always localized, both the pain and the rash. Shingles usually lasts about 10-12 days, according to the doctor.
Well, Fawn, clearly mystified, stammered that she has never had the chickenpox... So how could she get shingles?! The doctor insisted that Shingles was the best diagnosis, that he would take some x-rays to be sure, test her blood and give her some pain meds for her side. Now this is the part where it got interesting.
The nurse comes in, takes some blood (much to Fawny and my delight, the lady was very skilled and got her on the first try.) and then leaves. Then another nurse comes in to put in her IV (this nurse was also skilled in his craft and got her on the first try). He gives her morphine and finergan (sp?) in her iv and leaves. It took maybe 2 minutes and Fawn and I notice that her entire arm has turned very red, starting from where the iv needle is located. She is clearly having a reaction to the meds. We call a nurse and she comes in and looks at Fawn's arm (once again we are mystified because Fawn has never had a reaction to either or those meds) then quickly gave her some Benedryll... Which mixed with everything else began to put her to sleep.
So because i was bored i began talking at random. Then she said something about Miyavi (because she was listening to her mp3, which has MYV on it) and for some unknown reason I thought I heard her say "Mephistes (mah-fist-s)" and I'm like what?! And she says, "i'm listening to Miyavi". So, unfortunately for MYV you have a new nickname! Mephistes. And, the answer is yes, i will call you it all the time from now on.
She was taken for an x-ray (though, they didn't tell us the result of her blood work or the x-rays), and then we waited. The doctor came in once again, saying he was going to put her on an anti-viral medication to help speed up the clearing of the Shingles (because Shingles has no cure). We then waited for about 30 minutes to be discharged.
And that was another grand adventure in the hospital! I HATE Hospitals!!
Fawn is still in a lot of pain right now... And the dr. said that if she doesn't feel better by Tuesday to go and see her regular doctor. So here's hoping Fawny Recovers soon!!
Thanks to everyone who was praying! Continued prayers would be lovely!
love,
Sarai
I stayed up as late as possible with her, (until about 3:30am or so) and then got up at around 6:45am or so when she finally decided to go to the hospital.
We arrive at the hospital, Where we are seen almost immediately (WHERE WAS THIS COURTESY WHEN I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL!?). They take her blood pressure, we wait a little while and then the doctor comes in. He checks her out, poor baby was so sore that him just barely touching the skin where the pain was equaled excruciating. The doctor said that he belived that Fawny had Shingles (Adult chickenpox).
For those of you who don't know: Shingles is usually when you have had the chickenpox as a child (sometimes you don't even realize you had the pox because it manifested as a simple rash) and you never developed a tolerance for it. Shingles will hide out in the nerves of the body, starting with pain in the back and moving toward the front of the body. The pain usually appears a few days before the rash. It is almost always localized, both the pain and the rash. Shingles usually lasts about 10-12 days, according to the doctor.
Well, Fawn, clearly mystified, stammered that she has never had the chickenpox... So how could she get shingles?! The doctor insisted that Shingles was the best diagnosis, that he would take some x-rays to be sure, test her blood and give her some pain meds for her side. Now this is the part where it got interesting.
The nurse comes in, takes some blood (much to Fawny and my delight, the lady was very skilled and got her on the first try.) and then leaves. Then another nurse comes in to put in her IV (this nurse was also skilled in his craft and got her on the first try). He gives her morphine and finergan (sp?) in her iv and leaves. It took maybe 2 minutes and Fawn and I notice that her entire arm has turned very red, starting from where the iv needle is located. She is clearly having a reaction to the meds. We call a nurse and she comes in and looks at Fawn's arm (once again we are mystified because Fawn has never had a reaction to either or those meds) then quickly gave her some Benedryll... Which mixed with everything else began to put her to sleep.
So because i was bored i began talking at random. Then she said something about Miyavi (because she was listening to her mp3, which has MYV on it) and for some unknown reason I thought I heard her say "Mephistes (mah-fist-s)" and I'm like what?! And she says, "i'm listening to Miyavi". So, unfortunately for MYV you have a new nickname! Mephistes. And, the answer is yes, i will call you it all the time from now on.
She was taken for an x-ray (though, they didn't tell us the result of her blood work or the x-rays), and then we waited. The doctor came in once again, saying he was going to put her on an anti-viral medication to help speed up the clearing of the Shingles (because Shingles has no cure). We then waited for about 30 minutes to be discharged.
And that was another grand adventure in the hospital! I HATE Hospitals!!
Fawn is still in a lot of pain right now... And the dr. said that if she doesn't feel better by Tuesday to go and see her regular doctor. So here's hoping Fawny Recovers soon!!
Thanks to everyone who was praying! Continued prayers would be lovely!
love,
Sarai
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Black Stone (AKA: My Favortie Gackt Video)
Seeing as I don't trust the internet for translations, I shall post none. And just to let you all know, this is my FAVORITE video by Gackt. If i get any complaints I shall murderlize someone... I'm still trying to regain some sanity here... (Sarah Jo: No comments on whether he looks like a girl or not. HE IS A MAN!! GET OVER IT! And as to your opinions on this: I DO NOT CARE!)
Useless
I wish I could dazzle you all with my cleverness, but today i fear that isn't the case. I just feel so useless and broken-hearted and........... ANGRY !
Angry because here I am in Oklahoma, where I knew I was supposed to be. I can't get a job, I can't seem to stay healthy, I'm only causing problems and I just want to scream half the time.
Angry because in Indiana everything is going to hell in a handbasket and I can't do a damn thing to stop it! I can't make my step-father love my mom, i can't make him love me or christopher. And I can't help mom get a job, I can't excercise with Hannah so she isn't lonely. I can't keep Chris company on the nights when we both can't sleep.
Angry at myself because I can't seem to do anything right these days... I just feel useless to everyone. i can't help anyone, i can't make Fawny stop hurting, I can't make Adam stop acting like a jerk, I can't stop myself from hating both of my fathers right now... I just feel like I'm hurting more than I am helping anyone...
GRRRRRR!!!!
I don't want to have a pity party, thats what this blog is starting to feel like. Oh, look at Sarai, she is so pitiful and emo and angsty over there in her little corner of the world. Lets all feel sorry for her. boo hoo, poor baby.
I feel guilty and selfish for feeling like this when, in various other parts of the world, there are people starving, people paying $16 a liter of gasoline (which is about half a gallon), people trapped in China underneath rubble from the earthquakes, children dying of AIDS and other diseases because they have no one to take care of them. and I am complaining about how my life sucks.
I feel angry because I can't fix the world anymore than I can fix the lives around me. I can't make it any better. I feel broken-hearted and useless for the same reasons. But I want to make everything better , I want to stop all the shit thats going on from happening. i'm tired of people i care about being in pain and there being absolutely nothing I can do to stop it.
I guess I just have to stop trying to fix everything. Funny, my mother always told me that the need to fix everything was a "male complex", not a female one. I guess I got the worst of both worlds in that respect.
Angry because here I am in Oklahoma, where I knew I was supposed to be. I can't get a job, I can't seem to stay healthy, I'm only causing problems and I just want to scream half the time.
Angry because in Indiana everything is going to hell in a handbasket and I can't do a damn thing to stop it! I can't make my step-father love my mom, i can't make him love me or christopher. And I can't help mom get a job, I can't excercise with Hannah so she isn't lonely. I can't keep Chris company on the nights when we both can't sleep.
Angry at myself because I can't seem to do anything right these days... I just feel useless to everyone. i can't help anyone, i can't make Fawny stop hurting, I can't make Adam stop acting like a jerk, I can't stop myself from hating both of my fathers right now... I just feel like I'm hurting more than I am helping anyone...
GRRRRRR!!!!
I don't want to have a pity party, thats what this blog is starting to feel like. Oh, look at Sarai, she is so pitiful and emo and angsty over there in her little corner of the world. Lets all feel sorry for her. boo hoo, poor baby.
I feel guilty and selfish for feeling like this when, in various other parts of the world, there are people starving, people paying $16 a liter of gasoline (which is about half a gallon), people trapped in China underneath rubble from the earthquakes, children dying of AIDS and other diseases because they have no one to take care of them. and I am complaining about how my life sucks.
I feel angry because I can't fix the world anymore than I can fix the lives around me. I can't make it any better. I feel broken-hearted and useless for the same reasons. But I want to make everything better , I want to stop all the shit thats going on from happening. i'm tired of people i care about being in pain and there being absolutely nothing I can do to stop it.
I guess I just have to stop trying to fix everything. Funny, my mother always told me that the need to fix everything was a "male complex", not a female one. I guess I got the worst of both worlds in that respect.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Leave you Behind...
So we walked to the store, Fawny and I, it is roughly 10:45pm as we stand on the bridge, waiting a moment because she needs a cigarette and I need a rest. She sits on the rails and I mention, "Don't fall down, cause if you do, I'm leaving you here and I'll be back."
I go to take a drink of my Mt. Dew and am thinking about how funny it would be if she did fall. I would drop down a sandwich for her, and a monster and be back for her once I carried the groceries back to the house. While I'm thinking this she says, "Thanks! Leave my blind ass here!" to which I squirt Mt. Dew out my nose because I giggle snorted so hard. The interesting images were hilarious and the Mt. Dew totally burned my nasal cavity.
But thats what you get when you hang out with Fawn.
Life is an interesting adventure, and I'm just happy to be on for the ride.
I go to take a drink of my Mt. Dew and am thinking about how funny it would be if she did fall. I would drop down a sandwich for her, and a monster and be back for her once I carried the groceries back to the house. While I'm thinking this she says, "Thanks! Leave my blind ass here!" to which I squirt Mt. Dew out my nose because I giggle snorted so hard. The interesting images were hilarious and the Mt. Dew totally burned my nasal cavity.
But thats what you get when you hang out with Fawn.
Life is an interesting adventure, and I'm just happy to be on for the ride.
Monday, May 26, 2008
This is SO Funny!!
| So you wanna start a Jrock band, huh? by Darling | |
| Your name | |
| Your gender | |
| Your style | Visual |
| Vocalist | Loves fanservice. |
| Guitarist | Is a zombie hero! |
| Guitarist | Worships satan. |
| Bassist | Cuddles a stuffed toy at night |
| Drummer | Curls her hair. |
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Stolen Breath
She's sitting on my doorstep. She doesn't have a name.
But she breathes and she cries and she bleeds, just the same.
She is whispering softly to the moon, her pale hands
outstretched, reaching and grasping the sky in broken pieces.
I am sitting on my doorstep. I don't have a name, not anymore.
But I breathe and I cry and I bleed, just the same.
I am whispering softly to the sun, my browned hands outstretched,
reaching and grasping the stained and shattered sky in pieces.
She is sitting in the middle of the road now. Invisible cars
fly by her, not daring to touch those beautiful bruises,
un-willing to break the bubble she has placed herself in.
She is talking loudly now, her voice making the world shake.
I am sitting in the middle of the road now. Infinite amounts of
withering roses scattered about as the cars fly by. I don't dare
touch these beautiful bruises, purple and bloody against bleached
bones that never felt. Un-willing to break the cage that holds me.
I am screaming now, my voice rising and falling in crescendos
that have lost their meanings in the middle of twilight.
She is crying now, her mouth a bleeding slit against the
white darkness. Freedom isn't free, she cries. Love is never
true. And we all die before our time, with nothing left to do.
She is lying in the middle of the cemetery. Her clothes left
behind in her agony. She is pure white, blanched bones
scattered about her, against the black earth. She is dying,
trying to flee that mortal frame. Let the crimson fall, translucent
against the emerald greens.
I am crying now, my mouth a sharp knife against the wound
of these skies. Freedom isn't free, I echo. Love is never true.
And we all die before our time, with nothing left to do.
I am lying next to her, we are stark ivory against bloody earth.
The bones seem to sing a haunting lullaby as we close our
eyes against the birth of the moon to a barren sky. We clasp
our hands together. Promising to hold on, no matter what may come.
No matter what may tear us apart. She vanishes from my heart,
not even a whisper of her soul left behind to caress the loneliness.
And we are miles apart, standing a hand's breath from one another.
She in her dying womb, I in my empty grave. Grasp the silence
with bloody hands, take what is given and leave what is not.
I am alone again. Sitting on my doorstep with only these tremulous
memories.
But she breathes and she cries and she bleeds, just the same.
She is whispering softly to the moon, her pale hands
outstretched, reaching and grasping the sky in broken pieces.
I am sitting on my doorstep. I don't have a name, not anymore.
But I breathe and I cry and I bleed, just the same.
I am whispering softly to the sun, my browned hands outstretched,
reaching and grasping the stained and shattered sky in pieces.
She is sitting in the middle of the road now. Invisible cars
fly by her, not daring to touch those beautiful bruises,
un-willing to break the bubble she has placed herself in.
She is talking loudly now, her voice making the world shake.
I am sitting in the middle of the road now. Infinite amounts of
withering roses scattered about as the cars fly by. I don't dare
touch these beautiful bruises, purple and bloody against bleached
bones that never felt. Un-willing to break the cage that holds me.
I am screaming now, my voice rising and falling in crescendos
that have lost their meanings in the middle of twilight.
She is crying now, her mouth a bleeding slit against the
white darkness. Freedom isn't free, she cries. Love is never
true. And we all die before our time, with nothing left to do.
She is lying in the middle of the cemetery. Her clothes left
behind in her agony. She is pure white, blanched bones
scattered about her, against the black earth. She is dying,
trying to flee that mortal frame. Let the crimson fall, translucent
against the emerald greens.
I am crying now, my mouth a sharp knife against the wound
of these skies. Freedom isn't free, I echo. Love is never true.
And we all die before our time, with nothing left to do.
I am lying next to her, we are stark ivory against bloody earth.
The bones seem to sing a haunting lullaby as we close our
eyes against the birth of the moon to a barren sky. We clasp
our hands together. Promising to hold on, no matter what may come.
No matter what may tear us apart. She vanishes from my heart,
not even a whisper of her soul left behind to caress the loneliness.
And we are miles apart, standing a hand's breath from one another.
She in her dying womb, I in my empty grave. Grasp the silence
with bloody hands, take what is given and leave what is not.
I am alone again. Sitting on my doorstep with only these tremulous
memories.
No particular reason, why do you ask? (dA)
Journal Entry: Sun May 25, 2008, 9:09 PM
My muse has left on vacation again. Apparently he has to spend a certain amount of time on the Planet of Electric Cucumbers and a certain amount of time on Earth so that he can maintain citizenship on both.
this is rather frustrating though, because i really want to write and can't!! 
Oh well. So instead I'm going to watch movies online (if they ever load!!) and check this place and my other pieces of web off and on through out the rest of the night.
BTW: to those of you who like my works, if you want, feel free to check out my website : [link]
I go by my "pen" name there which is Dauntless F. Sparrow. I have a lot of my stuff in blogs on there. Including some fun stuff. Check it out and if you have anything you want to add feel free to message me about it. My e-mail address is both on my homepage here and my homepage on the site. Thanks a bunch to you all who endure these long and boring journals!!
Sarai Out
- Mood:
Tired - Listening to: Toshi (X-Japan's lead singer)
- Reading: Battle Royale by Koushun Takami
- Watching: Shanghai Noon, if the stupid video ever loads
- Playing: mind games with everyone...
- Eating: Ramen
- Drinking: Water
My muse has left on vacation again. Apparently he has to spend a certain amount of time on the Planet of Electric Cucumbers and a certain amount of time on Earth so that he can maintain citizenship on both.
this is rather frustrating though, because i really want to write and can't!! Oh well. So instead I'm going to watch movies online (if they ever load!!) and check this place and my other pieces of web off and on through out the rest of the night.
BTW: to those of you who like my works, if you want, feel free to check out my website : [link]
I go by my "pen" name there which is Dauntless F. Sparrow. I have a lot of my stuff in blogs on there. Including some fun stuff. Check it out and if you have anything you want to add feel free to message me about it. My e-mail address is both on my homepage here and my homepage on the site. Thanks a bunch to you all who endure these long and boring journals!!
Sarai Out
Honesty is the Best Policy
WHO'S
Who are you liking?
-Like I'm going to tell you!! What if he read it?! I would never live it down. So, NO!
Who is your best friend?
-Fawny, My Mom, Momma T, Adam (when he isn't being a jackass), Sarah Jo and Ryan
Who makes you happy?
-To be brutally honest, Gackt makes me Happy. You know why? Because I feel like I can really connect with his music and that makes me happy. Gackt, if you read this, I thank you for making music that speaks to my soul.
Who is your favorite family member on your mom's side?
-My Grandfather, my uncle Derek
Who is your favorite family member on your dad's side?
-On my step-father's side: Aunt Carmen, Jonathan, Breana, Uncle Clark, Aunt Peggy, Becky and Greg. On my bio father's side: Aunt Rosie, Aunt Lynette
Who are you closest to?
-My moms (I have like 5 of them)
Who do you tell your secrets to?
-Fawny, Sarah Jo, Adam
Who were you with last night?
-Fawny and Arlin
Who do you live with?
-Fawny and Arlin
WHAT'S
What's your full name?
-Sarai Elizabeth Lillie
What's your birthdate?
-September 25th, 1988
What's your favorte color?
-Black, Crimson and Ivory
What's your favorite sport?
-Football, Basketball, Soccer, Dressage
What's your favorite number?
-42 (apparently its the answer to everything?)
What do you do in your spare time?
-Spend time on the internet, watch movies, read books, knit (when i have the yarn!), tease Fawny
What are your pets names?
-Well in Indiana, my pets' names were Starlight and Pia. But they no longer live with me since i now reside in Oklahoma
What's your favorite song?
-Dispar by Gackt, Black Stone by Gackt, Useless by Imogen Heap, Sex and Religion by Violet UK, Scarecrow's Dream by Dan Fogelberg, ETC...
What's your favorite T.V. show?
-Robin Hood (BBC America), Prison Break, House MD (although, I never get to watch these shows anymore...)
What's your favorite movie?
-A Tale of Two Sisters, Moon Child, Gone with the Wind, The Forbidden Kingdom, The Curse of the Golden Flower, ETC....
What vehicles do your parents drive?
-Um, Kia Spectre and Ford Windstar
WHERE'S
Where were you on your last birthday?
-At my 'rent's apartment in B-ton Indiana
Where do you live?
-Shawnee Oklahoma
Where do you want to live?
-Well, its one of four places: California, Ireland, Egypt or Japan
Where was your last vacation to?
-Florida (to visit my Cousin)
Where did you go in a car last?
-Wal-Mart
Where do your grandparents live?
-My bio father's parents are deceased. Their bodies reside in California. My mom's parents live in Jeffersonville Indiana. My step-father's parents reside in Owen County Indiana
Where do you want to go to college?
-St. Gregory's (here in Shawnee) or Mill's Women's College in California
Where is your heart?
-With he that holds the pieces.
WHEN'S
When did/will you graduate?
-I'll finally get my GED sometime in the next 4 months... Since I plan ..ing college in the Fall.
When do you want to get married?
-Never. Seriously though, at this point in time I see no point in being married. Marriages fail, marriages die. I don't want that. I believe that if I can promise myself to someone without signing that piece of paper that is marriage to me. So, someday if I find the person I'm willing to promise myself to forever I will then "marry".
When are you happy?
-When I'm talking to my friends/family or when I'm writing poetry/stories
When did you cry last?
-Day before yesterday I believe.
When are you moving next?
-I've already done it love!
When did you last get a text?
-Well I've never received a text... bc I DON'T HAVE A CELL PHONE!!
When are you going to bed?
-Probably around 1 and 2
When is the last time you took a vitamin?
-Around 7pm today
WHY'S
Why do you think you were born?
-To entertain Fawny. lol... I think I was born to help people, to be someone that people can feel comfortable talking to when they are having problems.
Why is Britney Spears so messed up?
-Well, first, lets look at her mother! I rest my case.
Why are you stressed?
-My family, not having a job, my roomies being ill, me being ill.
Why is MySpace so addictive?
-If I knew, I would stop the addiction!
Why do clowns scare people?
-Maybe they saw "It" as young children? IDK, I personally am not afraid of clowns. (when I was a year old, yes. Now, no)
Why are you bored?
-Because I have no inspiration right now. Which is why I'm going to blog this, because I have no inspiration!
Why is Tom Cruise so weird?
-Because Scientology is fucked up.
Why are you taking this survey?
-I'm waiting for "Moon Child" to fully load so that I can enjoy it without being interrupted! :)
Who are you liking?
-Like I'm going to tell you!! What if he read it?! I would never live it down. So, NO!
Who is your best friend?
-Fawny, My Mom, Momma T, Adam (when he isn't being a jackass), Sarah Jo and Ryan
Who makes you happy?
-To be brutally honest, Gackt makes me Happy. You know why? Because I feel like I can really connect with his music and that makes me happy. Gackt, if you read this, I thank you for making music that speaks to my soul.
Who is your favorite family member on your mom's side?
-My Grandfather, my uncle Derek
Who is your favorite family member on your dad's side?
-On my step-father's side: Aunt Carmen, Jonathan, Breana, Uncle Clark, Aunt Peggy, Becky and Greg. On my bio father's side: Aunt Rosie, Aunt Lynette
Who are you closest to?
-My moms (I have like 5 of them)
Who do you tell your secrets to?
-Fawny, Sarah Jo, Adam
Who were you with last night?
-Fawny and Arlin
Who do you live with?
-Fawny and Arlin
WHAT'S
What's your full name?
-Sarai Elizabeth Lillie
What's your birthdate?
-September 25th, 1988
What's your favorte color?
-Black, Crimson and Ivory
What's your favorite sport?
-Football, Basketball, Soccer, Dressage
What's your favorite number?
-42 (apparently its the answer to everything?)
What do you do in your spare time?
-Spend time on the internet, watch movies, read books, knit (when i have the yarn!), tease Fawny
What are your pets names?
-Well in Indiana, my pets' names were Starlight and Pia. But they no longer live with me since i now reside in Oklahoma
What's your favorite song?
-Dispar by Gackt, Black Stone by Gackt, Useless by Imogen Heap, Sex and Religion by Violet UK, Scarecrow's Dream by Dan Fogelberg, ETC...
What's your favorite T.V. show?
-Robin Hood (BBC America), Prison Break, House MD (although, I never get to watch these shows anymore...)
What's your favorite movie?
-A Tale of Two Sisters, Moon Child, Gone with the Wind, The Forbidden Kingdom, The Curse of the Golden Flower, ETC....
What vehicles do your parents drive?
-Um, Kia Spectre and Ford Windstar
WHERE'S
Where were you on your last birthday?
-At my 'rent's apartment in B-ton Indiana
Where do you live?
-Shawnee Oklahoma
Where do you want to live?
-Well, its one of four places: California, Ireland, Egypt or Japan
Where was your last vacation to?
-Florida (to visit my Cousin)
Where did you go in a car last?
-Wal-Mart
Where do your grandparents live?
-My bio father's parents are deceased. Their bodies reside in California. My mom's parents live in Jeffersonville Indiana. My step-father's parents reside in Owen County Indiana
Where do you want to go to college?
-St. Gregory's (here in Shawnee) or Mill's Women's College in California
Where is your heart?
-With he that holds the pieces.
WHEN'S
When did/will you graduate?
-I'll finally get my GED sometime in the next 4 months... Since I plan ..ing college in the Fall.
When do you want to get married?
-Never. Seriously though, at this point in time I see no point in being married. Marriages fail, marriages die. I don't want that. I believe that if I can promise myself to someone without signing that piece of paper that is marriage to me. So, someday if I find the person I'm willing to promise myself to forever I will then "marry".
When are you happy?
-When I'm talking to my friends/family or when I'm writing poetry/stories
When did you cry last?
-Day before yesterday I believe.
When are you moving next?
-I've already done it love!
When did you last get a text?
-Well I've never received a text... bc I DON'T HAVE A CELL PHONE!!
When are you going to bed?
-Probably around 1 and 2
When is the last time you took a vitamin?
-Around 7pm today
WHY'S
Why do you think you were born?
-To entertain Fawny. lol... I think I was born to help people, to be someone that people can feel comfortable talking to when they are having problems.
Why is Britney Spears so messed up?
-Well, first, lets look at her mother! I rest my case.
Why are you stressed?
-My family, not having a job, my roomies being ill, me being ill.
Why is MySpace so addictive?
-If I knew, I would stop the addiction!
Why do clowns scare people?
-Maybe they saw "It" as young children? IDK, I personally am not afraid of clowns. (when I was a year old, yes. Now, no)
Why are you bored?
-Because I have no inspiration right now. Which is why I'm going to blog this, because I have no inspiration!
Why is Tom Cruise so weird?
-Because Scientology is fucked up.
Why are you taking this survey?
-I'm waiting for "Moon Child" to fully load so that I can enjoy it without being interrupted! :)
The ABC’s of the Sarai
The Letter A
Are you available?:
Yes
Favorite Anime?:
Death Note, Case Closed
Animated or Live Action movies?:
Both
Do you like Aerosmith?:
Um, I like one song. Dream On is really good.
The Letter B
Favorite Book?
The Black Jewels Trilogy, Dracula, The Inferno, Gone with the Wind
Enjoy Myspace Bulletins?
When I'm bored, yes.
Boredom?
Eats away at my soul!!
Basketball or Baseball?
Basketball. I can actually play that, usually...
The Letter C
Favorite Candy?
Anything Chocolate
How do you like your chocolate?
Reese's Cups is how I like my Chocolate.
Afraid of Clowns?
No.
Carnivals or Circuses?
I don't think I've ever been to a Carnival or a Circus. So I can't choose!
The Letter D
Do you daydream?:
All the time
What's your favorite kind of dog?:
Australian Shepherd, Rotteweiler and Dobermans
Favorite day of the week?
Saturday
Ever done drugs?
No
The Letter E
Energy Drinks?
MONSTER!!! lol. I like some energy drinks.
Have you ever been in the emergency room?:
So many times that I've lost count!!
Do you like Elephants?
Yes. They are wonderfully amazing creatures!
Ever been in an Earthquake?
Yes.
The Letter F
Have you ever flown in a plane?:
Yes
Do you like any foreign music?
A lot of my music is foreign actually
Favorite Foreign Film?
A Tale of Two Sisters (BEST MOVIE EVER!!)
Biggest Fear(s)?
Not living life to the fullest, rape, closed spaces and spiders (except for the pink ones!)
The Letter G
Goats or Giraffes?
I LOVE GIRAFFES!!
Do you believe in God?
Yes
Do you like gummy candies?:
YES!! Dang it, now I want Gummy Bears!
Best gift to give you?
Books. Anything in Book form, I'll love.
The Letter H
How old are you?:
19. I'll be 20 in September
What color is your hair?:
black/brown
Favorite kind of Horse?
Arabians, Palominos and Mustangs
How's your heart?
Broken.
The Letter I
What's your favorite ice cream?:
Butter Pecan and Plain old Vanilla
Are you Insecure?
Yes. Unfortunately.
Do you play an instrument?:
Only my voice. Fawny has promised to teach me guitar though. I would really love to learn the piano too.
Do you have an Idol?
Well, we shouldn't have idols, but I have heroes. I guess the two can be mixed up sometimes...
The Letter J
What's your favorite jelly bean brand?:
Jelly Belly's!
Do you wear jewelry?:
Yes
Favorite type of juice?
White Grape (Elven Wine!)
Do you Jump Rope?
Well, I haven't for a while, but I do like to jump rope.
The Letter K
Who do you want to kill?:
Barry, my step-father's "friend". The man is evil and I personally hope he rots in hell.
Do you want kids?:
No thanks. I've helped raise 4 of them and I'm good.
Ever done Karate?
No. I want to, but I've not yet.
Do you like kittens or puppies?
BOTH!!
The Letter L
Ever been in Love?
Yes. Once, a long time ago...
Do you lie?:
Everyone Lies. So I have in my lifetime, yes.
Do you like Lions?
Yes. I do!
Live music or CDs?
Depends on who is playing the Live music...
The Letter M
Whats your favorite movie?:
Gone With the Wind, The Forbidden Kingdom, A Tale of Two Sisters and Moon Child
Do you still watch Disney movies?:
Yes, actually. I still enjoy Pocahontas, The Little Mermaid and Alice in Wonderland
Favorite Mythological Character(s)?
Sekmet and Anubis (Egyptian Mythology)
Do you believe in Mermaids?
Yes
The Letter N
Do you have a nickname?:
Sarah Belle, Sara ha ha, Haras, Sara Sue, Sara Lee, DQ, Mel
Night or Day?
Night
Favorite Boy's Name?
David Michael
Favorite Girl's Name?
Troian Isolde
The Letter O
What's your one wish?:
To be thinner than I am now.
Are you an only child?:
No. I have 12 brothers and sisters. 5 adopted, 1 whole, 1 half and 5 dead.
One thing you love most?
Writing
Do you like the Ocean?
Yes. The ocean is where I reside in my mind...
The Letter P
Favorite type of Pasta?
Fettucine Alfredo
What are your pet peeves?:
Stupidity, misspellings, improper grammar...
Personality or Looks?
Personality!
Do You like Pickles?
Yes, if they are Vlasic Dills...
The Letter Q
What's your favorite quote?
"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love. Listens but doesn't believe and leaves before she is left." Marilyn Monroe
If given the Opportunity to be Queen, would you?
No thanks. I have a hard enough time taking care of my own life without being in charge of everyone else's lives.
Quiet or Loud?
Depending on my mood, Both.
Do you have any quilts?
No. But I hope to make one, one day.
The Letter R
Do you write with your Left or Right?
Right (though I'm learning to write with my left as well)
How do you feel about Robin Hood?
I like him. He's a hero of mine.
Rich and Unhappy or Poor and Happy?
Poor and Happy. Who wants to be rich and unhappy?
Republican or Democrat?
I have a tendency to lean towards Democrat
The Letter S
Storms or Sunshine?
Storms! And sunshine... So i guess both!
Do you like snow?:
Yes. I just wish it wasn't so cold!!
Do you like Seafood?
Not really.
Favorite word that begins with S?
Sweetly
The Letter T
What time is it?:
6:44pm
Do you like tigers?
yes
Do You need Therapy?
Probably
Favorite time of Day?
Twilight. Its so beautiful around that time.
The Letter U
Do you believe in Unicorns?
yes
Is the Universe infinite?
I would like to think so.
Favorite type of underwear?
Regular, idk... I don't pay much attention to underwear.
Ever heard of Ukraine?
Yes.
The Letter V
Favorite Vegetable?
Broccoli and Cabbage
Last Vacation?
To Florida about 4 years ago.
Ever played the Violin?
Yes. Not well, but I had a friend who let me try to play hers.
Views on Violence?
Violence doesn't solve anything in my opinion. But I have a tendency to want to fix things with violence.
The Letter W
What's your worst habit?:
Biting my nails and overeating...
Where do you live?:
OKLAHOMA!!
Ever been to Washington DC?
No. Someday, but not yet.
Wash your own clothes?
Yes.
The Letter X
Have you ever had an x-ray?:
Many times
Have you seen the x-games?:
Once or Twice, i think...
Do you own a xylophone?:
Not anymore :(
Favorite word that begins with X?
Xeric: Meaning Dry, without Moisture
The Letter Y
Do you like Yo-Yos?
Yes. I used to be fairly good at it too.
Ever visit YouTube?
All the time...
Describe Yourself in 5 words.
Crazy, Depressing, Naive, Hopeful, Annoying
What do you Yearn for most?
True Love
The Letter Z
Whats your zodiac sign?:
Libra
Do you believe in the zodiac?:
Yes and No. Its rather complicated actually...
Favorite zoo animal?:
Lions
Zebras?
They're cool. I always liked the fact that they are both black and white.
Are you available?:
Yes
Favorite Anime?:
Death Note, Case Closed
Animated or Live Action movies?:
Both
Do you like Aerosmith?:
Um, I like one song. Dream On is really good.
The Letter B
Favorite Book?
The Black Jewels Trilogy, Dracula, The Inferno, Gone with the Wind
Enjoy Myspace Bulletins?
When I'm bored, yes.
Boredom?
Eats away at my soul!!
Basketball or Baseball?
Basketball. I can actually play that, usually...
The Letter C
Favorite Candy?
Anything Chocolate
How do you like your chocolate?
Reese's Cups is how I like my Chocolate.
Afraid of Clowns?
No.
Carnivals or Circuses?
I don't think I've ever been to a Carnival or a Circus. So I can't choose!
The Letter D
Do you daydream?:
All the time
What's your favorite kind of dog?:
Australian Shepherd, Rotteweiler and Dobermans
Favorite day of the week?
Saturday
Ever done drugs?
No
The Letter E
Energy Drinks?
MONSTER!!! lol. I like some energy drinks.
Have you ever been in the emergency room?:
So many times that I've lost count!!
Do you like Elephants?
Yes. They are wonderfully amazing creatures!
Ever been in an Earthquake?
Yes.
The Letter F
Have you ever flown in a plane?:
Yes
Do you like any foreign music?
A lot of my music is foreign actually
Favorite Foreign Film?
A Tale of Two Sisters (BEST MOVIE EVER!!)
Biggest Fear(s)?
Not living life to the fullest, rape, closed spaces and spiders (except for the pink ones!)
The Letter G
Goats or Giraffes?
I LOVE GIRAFFES!!
Do you believe in God?
Yes
Do you like gummy candies?:
YES!! Dang it, now I want Gummy Bears!
Best gift to give you?
Books. Anything in Book form, I'll love.
The Letter H
How old are you?:
19. I'll be 20 in September
What color is your hair?:
black/brown
Favorite kind of Horse?
Arabians, Palominos and Mustangs
How's your heart?
Broken.
The Letter I
What's your favorite ice cream?:
Butter Pecan and Plain old Vanilla
Are you Insecure?
Yes. Unfortunately.
Do you play an instrument?:
Only my voice. Fawny has promised to teach me guitar though. I would really love to learn the piano too.
Do you have an Idol?
Well, we shouldn't have idols, but I have heroes. I guess the two can be mixed up sometimes...
The Letter J
What's your favorite jelly bean brand?:
Jelly Belly's!
Do you wear jewelry?:
Yes
Favorite type of juice?
White Grape (Elven Wine!)
Do you Jump Rope?
Well, I haven't for a while, but I do like to jump rope.
The Letter K
Who do you want to kill?:
Barry, my step-father's "friend". The man is evil and I personally hope he rots in hell.
Do you want kids?:
No thanks. I've helped raise 4 of them and I'm good.
Ever done Karate?
No. I want to, but I've not yet.
Do you like kittens or puppies?
BOTH!!
The Letter L
Ever been in Love?
Yes. Once, a long time ago...
Do you lie?:
Everyone Lies. So I have in my lifetime, yes.
Do you like Lions?
Yes. I do!
Live music or CDs?
Depends on who is playing the Live music...
The Letter M
Whats your favorite movie?:
Gone With the Wind, The Forbidden Kingdom, A Tale of Two Sisters and Moon Child
Do you still watch Disney movies?:
Yes, actually. I still enjoy Pocahontas, The Little Mermaid and Alice in Wonderland
Favorite Mythological Character(s)?
Sekmet and Anubis (Egyptian Mythology)
Do you believe in Mermaids?
Yes
The Letter N
Do you have a nickname?:
Sarah Belle, Sara ha ha, Haras, Sara Sue, Sara Lee, DQ, Mel
Night or Day?
Night
Favorite Boy's Name?
David Michael
Favorite Girl's Name?
Troian Isolde
The Letter O
What's your one wish?:
To be thinner than I am now.
Are you an only child?:
No. I have 12 brothers and sisters. 5 adopted, 1 whole, 1 half and 5 dead.
One thing you love most?
Writing
Do you like the Ocean?
Yes. The ocean is where I reside in my mind...
The Letter P
Favorite type of Pasta?
Fettucine Alfredo
What are your pet peeves?:
Stupidity, misspellings, improper grammar...
Personality or Looks?
Personality!
Do You like Pickles?
Yes, if they are Vlasic Dills...
The Letter Q
What's your favorite quote?
"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love. Listens but doesn't believe and leaves before she is left." Marilyn Monroe
If given the Opportunity to be Queen, would you?
No thanks. I have a hard enough time taking care of my own life without being in charge of everyone else's lives.
Quiet or Loud?
Depending on my mood, Both.
Do you have any quilts?
No. But I hope to make one, one day.
The Letter R
Do you write with your Left or Right?
Right (though I'm learning to write with my left as well)
How do you feel about Robin Hood?
I like him. He's a hero of mine.
Rich and Unhappy or Poor and Happy?
Poor and Happy. Who wants to be rich and unhappy?
Republican or Democrat?
I have a tendency to lean towards Democrat
The Letter S
Storms or Sunshine?
Storms! And sunshine... So i guess both!
Do you like snow?:
Yes. I just wish it wasn't so cold!!
Do you like Seafood?
Not really.
Favorite word that begins with S?
Sweetly
The Letter T
What time is it?:
6:44pm
Do you like tigers?
yes
Do You need Therapy?
Probably
Favorite time of Day?
Twilight. Its so beautiful around that time.
The Letter U
Do you believe in Unicorns?
yes
Is the Universe infinite?
I would like to think so.
Favorite type of underwear?
Regular, idk... I don't pay much attention to underwear.
Ever heard of Ukraine?
Yes.
The Letter V
Favorite Vegetable?
Broccoli and Cabbage
Last Vacation?
To Florida about 4 years ago.
Ever played the Violin?
Yes. Not well, but I had a friend who let me try to play hers.
Views on Violence?
Violence doesn't solve anything in my opinion. But I have a tendency to want to fix things with violence.
The Letter W
What's your worst habit?:
Biting my nails and overeating...
Where do you live?:
OKLAHOMA!!
Ever been to Washington DC?
No. Someday, but not yet.
Wash your own clothes?
Yes.
The Letter X
Have you ever had an x-ray?:
Many times
Have you seen the x-games?:
Once or Twice, i think...
Do you own a xylophone?:
Not anymore :(
Favorite word that begins with X?
Xeric: Meaning Dry, without Moisture
The Letter Y
Do you like Yo-Yos?
Yes. I used to be fairly good at it too.
Ever visit YouTube?
All the time...
Describe Yourself in 5 words.
Crazy, Depressing, Naive, Hopeful, Annoying
What do you Yearn for most?
True Love
The Letter Z
Whats your zodiac sign?:
Libra
Do you believe in the zodiac?:
Yes and No. Its rather complicated actually...
Favorite zoo animal?:
Lions
Zebras?
They're cool. I always liked the fact that they are both black and white.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Randomness to Cure MY Boredom!
Random Questions
Whats your favorite season?
Autumn
How do you want to be remembered after you die?
As I am now, that is how I want to be remembered
What's the main thing you want right now?
A good paying Job (Hell, a job of any kind would be LOVELY)
What three things couldn't you live without if you were stranded on a desert island?
Music, Chocolate and water
What's your favorite type of weather?
Warm, Stormy weather...
Has anyone hurt you recently? If so who?
yes. My step-father
Do you like to read?
Yes. I LOVE reading!!
What kind of books do you like to read?
Any kind as long as it isn't one of those stupid romance novels!
Favorite Authors?
Bram Stoker, Dante Alligheri, Anne Bishop, William Shakespeare
Favorite books?
Dracula, Romeo and Juliet, The Black Jewels Trilogy, The Inferno
Do like to drive fast?
I would just like to drive! Since I still can't....
Are you a night person or a morning person?
night
What is your perfect paradise?
A quiet little house surrounded by cherry blossom trees and a small sparkling lake.
What country or countries would you like to visit?
Japan, Ireland, Egypt
Are you for Capital Punishment?
In certain Circumstances, Yes
Are you happy with the way our country is run?
Not Really
Do you believe in literal good and evil?
Yes and no....
Do you believe in the devil?
Yes
Do you swear?
Yes
Do you believe in the supernatural?
Yes
Are you addicted to Myspace?
Yes *heavy sigh*
Favorite stores to shop at?
Barnes and Noble, Wal-Mart, Hot Topic
What's your favorite holiday
I don't have one.
What's your favorite month?
September
What do you do when your stressed and need to unwind?
Listen to music, sometimes I cry, but I usually write it out...
Does your curiosity get the best of you ever?
Yes
Whats your favorite season?
Autumn
How do you want to be remembered after you die?
As I am now, that is how I want to be remembered
What's the main thing you want right now?
A good paying Job (Hell, a job of any kind would be LOVELY)
What three things couldn't you live without if you were stranded on a desert island?
Music, Chocolate and water
What's your favorite type of weather?
Warm, Stormy weather...
Has anyone hurt you recently? If so who?
yes. My step-father
Do you like to read?
Yes. I LOVE reading!!
What kind of books do you like to read?
Any kind as long as it isn't one of those stupid romance novels!
Favorite Authors?
Bram Stoker, Dante Alligheri, Anne Bishop, William Shakespeare
Favorite books?
Dracula, Romeo and Juliet, The Black Jewels Trilogy, The Inferno
Do like to drive fast?
I would just like to drive! Since I still can't....
Are you a night person or a morning person?
night
What is your perfect paradise?
A quiet little house surrounded by cherry blossom trees and a small sparkling lake.
What country or countries would you like to visit?
Japan, Ireland, Egypt
Are you for Capital Punishment?
In certain Circumstances, Yes
Are you happy with the way our country is run?
Not Really
Do you believe in literal good and evil?
Yes and no....
Do you believe in the devil?
Yes
Do you swear?
Yes
Do you believe in the supernatural?
Yes
Are you addicted to Myspace?
Yes *heavy sigh*
Favorite stores to shop at?
Barnes and Noble, Wal-Mart, Hot Topic
What's your favorite holiday
I don't have one.
What's your favorite month?
September
What do you do when your stressed and need to unwind?
Listen to music, sometimes I cry, but I usually write it out...
Does your curiosity get the best of you ever?
Yes
Friday, May 23, 2008
A new story and the return of my muse (dA)
Journal Entry: Fri May 23, 2008, 11:15 PM
So, enjoy it ladies and gents.
I'm off to take some tylenol for a horrific migraine starting. And to post a quotes blog on my other piece of web.
CHEERS!!!
Sarai
- Mood:
Passionate - Listening to: Steven Curtis Chapman
- Reading: Battle Royale by Koushun Takami
- Eating: Ramen
- Drinking: Water
So, enjoy it ladies and gents.
I'm off to take some tylenol for a horrific migraine starting. And to post a quotes blog on my other piece of web.
CHEERS!!!
Sarai
A Story for Sam
Once upon a time,
There was a young woman who lived in a very small house under the ground. She was terrified of the storms of life that occurred all over the world above her. But she wasn't afraid as long as she stayed in her little house underground.
One day, a storm knocked a hole into the roof of her little house. And one stream of pure white light filtered down to her.
It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. She tried to touch it and hold it, but couldn't keep it. And as the days changed, the light began to change too. Darkness encompassed everything, though one strand of light still remained.
Out of desperation to capture the light and hold it forever, she decided to venture out of her house and into the world above. She packed a few clothes; cheese, meat and some bread; a knife and a sheepskin of water. Then ventured forth into the world.
The first thing she encountered outside of her house in the ground was a mouse. He bowed to her, then scurried away. Confused, she followed him. She had never seen such a polite mouse before. "Do they all act like this above my house?" She wondered. She followed him for a very long time, through tall trees, across creeks, over hills and down valleys.
Finally, exhausted she gave up and sat upon a white stone. Noticing that she had stopped following, the mouse returned to her. "Why were you following me, child?" he asked
"Because, I have never seen a mouse bow to me before. And I am new above ground." The mouse studied her for a moment,
then replied, "Well, then I shall show you the world. But you must do me a favor. Be my wife, cook and clean for me and love me. Don't ever leave me for another or I will be very sad and die."
At first, startled, she just stared.
Then she finally said, "I will marry you, be your wife, cook and clean for you and love you. I will never leave you or I too would be very sad."
So, She married the mouse and he showed her the world.
The ceremony was lovely. The bride wore white gossamer and lace and the mouse groom wore a black bark suit with a tiny black hat.
Now, the first place that the mouse showed the girl was a place called America. America scared the young woman. It was busy and bustling. Many people were angry, burning crosses and killing others because of their skin color. She didn't like America very much. It was to full of hate and the storms that she had hidden herself from back in her old home.
The next place he showed her was Africa.
Africa was dark and very hot. The people there had very dark skin, that pleased her. She wished she could have skin like that. But then she saw other's who had pure white skin and she wished to have that skin as well. There were many beautiful animals in Africa. She loved them all and wanted to have one, but the mouse said that it was not yet time for pets.
Next he took her to Europe. There he showed her a mermaid that was frozen in stone and a castle that was haunted by beheaded queens. He took her underground and showed her underground cities. Then he sailed with her down a canal with lovely pieces of art on either side of the water road.
Then he took her through Asia.
The people there had a yellowish skin and ate lots of rice. She loved it very much in Asia. Because of the beautiful cherry blossoms that would float down from the trees and bury the grass in white and red petals.
Then he took her to a place called Antarctica.
It was very cold there, so cold that she almost froze. She had to always hold the mouse very close so that they could stay warm.
There was really nothing but beautiful white and blue ice as far as the eye could see.
Last he took her to a place called Australia.
In Australia, the people had interesting accents and different words for everything. It was in Australia that she met a young man named Xavier.
Xavier had lots of black curly hair that framed his heart-shaped face. And lovely green eyes that sparkled. He was also very smart and he made the young woman feel things she had never felt before.
All the while the mouse watched his wife. He became very lonely, because the young woman began spending more and more time with Xavier and less and less time with the mouse. But He couldn't blame her. He was a mouse and Xavier was a man.
A young woman needed a man, not a mouse.
So, in the middle of the night, the mouse left his wife, asleep, kissing her forehead gently. When the young woman awoke, she realized that the mouse was gone. She became very heartsore and Xavier could not cure her lonesomeness. She knew in her heart that she had hurt the mouse and she wanted him back with her more than anything in the world.
So she began her search for the mouse.
She searched all of Australia with it's strange accents and strange words and strange animals. Calling in the full light of the moon for her beloved mouse.
She then went to Antarctica, clinging to her cloak, and calling for him.
She then went to Asia, with all its beautiful cherry blossoms and its rice and yellow people. Asking everywhere, "Have you seen my mouse husband?"
But no one had seen him.
She traveled to Europe with its haunted castles and water roads and all the beautiful art. But she could still not find him.
She then searched Africa, with its Black and White people, crying endlessly for her mouse husband. She began to fear that he was dead from a broken heart. The broken heart that she had caused.
Lastly she searched America, with its burning crosses and hatred. But still she could not find him.
Finally she went home to her house in the ground, vowing to never leave the house again. Her mouse husband was gone and she would love no other.
For many years she sat alone in her house under the ground, longing for her mouse husband. Longing to hold him close to her again. In her mind she hated herself for what she had done to him. She had not meant to break her promise.
Then one beautiful autumn day, there was a knock on her door.
When she opened it, a handsome young man with brown hair falling about his face was standing there. He had very kind eyes, warm like melted chocolate. He had a very kind smile and the smile lit all the way up to his eyes.
"Miss?" He asked, smiling
"Yes?" she replied
"I have a message for you from your husband."
Jolted she began to cry. Collapsing into the young man's arms. Brushing her hair back, he whispered into her perfect ears.
"Because you loved me, and searched the world for me. I have returned to you. You broke a curse over me. And I have spent this time searching for you as well. I have missed you and loved you with all of my heart." Then he brushed her tears away and kissed her lips.
"I am your mouse husband. Cursed by cruel fate to live as a mouse until I found a woman who would love me enough to search the world for me. And you did."
That day, the mouse/man and the young woman renewed their marriage vows. They lived all over the world and raised many beautiful children who one day ruled those countries and made the world a better place. Because, true love conquers all.
The End
There was a young woman who lived in a very small house under the ground. She was terrified of the storms of life that occurred all over the world above her. But she wasn't afraid as long as she stayed in her little house underground.
One day, a storm knocked a hole into the roof of her little house. And one stream of pure white light filtered down to her.
It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. She tried to touch it and hold it, but couldn't keep it. And as the days changed, the light began to change too. Darkness encompassed everything, though one strand of light still remained.
Out of desperation to capture the light and hold it forever, she decided to venture out of her house and into the world above. She packed a few clothes; cheese, meat and some bread; a knife and a sheepskin of water. Then ventured forth into the world.
The first thing she encountered outside of her house in the ground was a mouse. He bowed to her, then scurried away. Confused, she followed him. She had never seen such a polite mouse before. "Do they all act like this above my house?" She wondered. She followed him for a very long time, through tall trees, across creeks, over hills and down valleys.
Finally, exhausted she gave up and sat upon a white stone. Noticing that she had stopped following, the mouse returned to her. "Why were you following me, child?" he asked
"Because, I have never seen a mouse bow to me before. And I am new above ground." The mouse studied her for a moment,
then replied, "Well, then I shall show you the world. But you must do me a favor. Be my wife, cook and clean for me and love me. Don't ever leave me for another or I will be very sad and die."
At first, startled, she just stared.
Then she finally said, "I will marry you, be your wife, cook and clean for you and love you. I will never leave you or I too would be very sad."
So, She married the mouse and he showed her the world.
The ceremony was lovely. The bride wore white gossamer and lace and the mouse groom wore a black bark suit with a tiny black hat.
Now, the first place that the mouse showed the girl was a place called America. America scared the young woman. It was busy and bustling. Many people were angry, burning crosses and killing others because of their skin color. She didn't like America very much. It was to full of hate and the storms that she had hidden herself from back in her old home.
The next place he showed her was Africa.
Africa was dark and very hot. The people there had very dark skin, that pleased her. She wished she could have skin like that. But then she saw other's who had pure white skin and she wished to have that skin as well. There were many beautiful animals in Africa. She loved them all and wanted to have one, but the mouse said that it was not yet time for pets.
Next he took her to Europe. There he showed her a mermaid that was frozen in stone and a castle that was haunted by beheaded queens. He took her underground and showed her underground cities. Then he sailed with her down a canal with lovely pieces of art on either side of the water road.
Then he took her through Asia.
The people there had a yellowish skin and ate lots of rice. She loved it very much in Asia. Because of the beautiful cherry blossoms that would float down from the trees and bury the grass in white and red petals.
Then he took her to a place called Antarctica.
It was very cold there, so cold that she almost froze. She had to always hold the mouse very close so that they could stay warm.
There was really nothing but beautiful white and blue ice as far as the eye could see.
Last he took her to a place called Australia.
In Australia, the people had interesting accents and different words for everything. It was in Australia that she met a young man named Xavier.
Xavier had lots of black curly hair that framed his heart-shaped face. And lovely green eyes that sparkled. He was also very smart and he made the young woman feel things she had never felt before.
All the while the mouse watched his wife. He became very lonely, because the young woman began spending more and more time with Xavier and less and less time with the mouse. But He couldn't blame her. He was a mouse and Xavier was a man.
A young woman needed a man, not a mouse.
So, in the middle of the night, the mouse left his wife, asleep, kissing her forehead gently. When the young woman awoke, she realized that the mouse was gone. She became very heartsore and Xavier could not cure her lonesomeness. She knew in her heart that she had hurt the mouse and she wanted him back with her more than anything in the world.
So she began her search for the mouse.
She searched all of Australia with it's strange accents and strange words and strange animals. Calling in the full light of the moon for her beloved mouse.
She then went to Antarctica, clinging to her cloak, and calling for him.
She then went to Asia, with all its beautiful cherry blossoms and its rice and yellow people. Asking everywhere, "Have you seen my mouse husband?"
But no one had seen him.
She traveled to Europe with its haunted castles and water roads and all the beautiful art. But she could still not find him.
She then searched Africa, with its Black and White people, crying endlessly for her mouse husband. She began to fear that he was dead from a broken heart. The broken heart that she had caused.
Lastly she searched America, with its burning crosses and hatred. But still she could not find him.
Finally she went home to her house in the ground, vowing to never leave the house again. Her mouse husband was gone and she would love no other.
For many years she sat alone in her house under the ground, longing for her mouse husband. Longing to hold him close to her again. In her mind she hated herself for what she had done to him. She had not meant to break her promise.
Then one beautiful autumn day, there was a knock on her door.
When she opened it, a handsome young man with brown hair falling about his face was standing there. He had very kind eyes, warm like melted chocolate. He had a very kind smile and the smile lit all the way up to his eyes.
"Miss?" He asked, smiling
"Yes?" she replied
"I have a message for you from your husband."
Jolted she began to cry. Collapsing into the young man's arms. Brushing her hair back, he whispered into her perfect ears.
"Because you loved me, and searched the world for me. I have returned to you. You broke a curse over me. And I have spent this time searching for you as well. I have missed you and loved you with all of my heart." Then he brushed her tears away and kissed her lips.
"I am your mouse husband. Cursed by cruel fate to live as a mouse until I found a woman who would love me enough to search the world for me. And you did."
That day, the mouse/man and the young woman renewed their marriage vows. They lived all over the world and raised many beautiful children who one day ruled those countries and made the world a better place. Because, true love conquers all.
The End
Thursday, May 22, 2008
True and Frightening Dreams
Last nights dreams held so many truths and riddles, i'm still starved and attempting to gobble what i know up.
Here is the situation: As those of you who read my blogs know, my parents are going through a rather nasty divorce... and I am feeling rather fatherless right now. Well in my 1st dream I finally said all the things to my step-father that I want to say now. The reason i haven't said them in real life is because I'm afraid that if I say them to him now, he will think my mother put me up to it and then it will be harder for her to win custody of my sister. I don't want to do any harm to them by speaking my mind. At the same time, I need to express this here, so I will.
I dreamt that we were (once again) in our trailer next to my grandmother's house (it hardly seems possible that I have not lived there for almost 6 years now, it remains so vividly etched in my memory). At any rate, we were in the master bedroom at the far right end of the trailer. He was talking to a little child, I think it was me as a child. I remember hearing myself speak to him.
"Fuck off, dad." This startled him from speaking to the child, then he looked at me and he grew very angry and told me to get out. This made me even more angry, so I turned and began screaming as I walked away.
"This is bullshit! A 'Godly' man doesn't treat his wife like this, a 'Godly' man doesn't treat his family like this. If he truly follows his God he does it with all of him not the parts that work out okay for him. Fuck you and Fuck off." Now, those are not the words of a young christian woman, but those of an enraged moralistic young woman. I just wish that the look in his eyes in my dreams had been sadness for what I was saying and guilt for what he was doing rather than Anger. Because then I could've truly believed that he still had a conscience or that he still at least belived the things he pounded into my brain as a child. "Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God." And right now, he is starving because he isn't even taking in some of the bread...
Then I dreamt about Toshi (X-Japan) and Masaya (now, ladies and gents, i've never spoken to Toshi before, I've never talked to Masaya but for some unknown reason Fawny and I had discussed some of the stuff going on there last night. I won't get into great detail on it. At any rate, it had been discussed before I went to bed. Now, I wasn't thinking about it when I went to bed, I had been thinking about a different dream from about a week ago... which we also won't talk about.) The next thing I know, I'm dreaming about it...
And obviously, because my mind can't handle exact truth, I had other things going in this dream too... Dragons to be specific. Has anyone seen Pete the Dragon? Yes, thats who was the template for the dragons in my dream. I even called him Pete.
All I can remember of Toshi is him standing next to this other man. This other man was shorter than Toshi, with black slicked back hair. A pudgy face and pudgy body. And he was wearing all black. He was very crisply dressed, looking very sharp. He and Toshi were shaking hands. He was someone always seen around Toshi and everyone else, but something wasn't right about it. He almost looked american from where I was standing. Obviously he wouldn't be, because he is from Asia, but it was all very odd.
Then I was dreaming about being with my "Pete" the dragon. And I was trying to protect him, but it wasn't working. The man who had been standing next to Toshi suddenly appeared. Dressed in silky/satiny grey pajamas. He seemed to think that I would sleep with him to keep Pete, or something like that. All I know is that there was a major undercurrent of sexuality trying to drag me under. Thats when we began to fight. We began by screaming at each other from opposite sides of this massive bed with Pete standing behind it. I was telling him all the lives he had destroyed: Toshi, and i named off many names I don't recall but it was understood that they were both people and dragons. He kept telling me that he made them better, and that he was sorry for their deaths, but it was not his fault. He had the cruelest smile painted across his face. Like the face of a demon in man's flesh...
Then I think I punched him, while Pete stood behind me, watching on. The man was stronger than I was and he was getting in a lot more hits. Strangely, I FELT every blow. I remember that I ripped all the buttons off his silky/satiny shirt and he became excessively angry, throwing more punches at me and beating me. At one point I got hold of some chain like objects. I swung them round and struck at him, but he caught it and wrapped it about his fist then delievered a blow to my mouth. He knocked my two front teeth loose (movign them back), but didn't knock them out. Blood was coming from my mouth for a few moments then stopped. (When I woke up, I was expecting to have a bloody mouth from the force of the blow to my teeth. Thats how much I felt the hit) Then he was on top of me, pushing me down onto the bed and he had an object that it was understood would kill me if it touched me. Out of desperation I cried out to Pete.
"Pete, HELP ME! Please, Pete, HELP!"
And i could see it go through his mind in pictures and words. "The man's head looks kind of like an egg, eggs break." A picture of an egg appeared and it cracked in two, spilling the yolk.
Right before Pete did anything a woman appeared, who I understood to by my mother or a mother figure. She said, "Who is it though?! Who is He?!"
And I cried out "Masaya! Its him!!" and then she looked at me, eyes wide, "OH! Its him! The one we've been looking for?!".
"YES! HELP ME!" then she disappeared. Then Pete took the man's head and with a swift crack of his dragon wrists brought the man's head down on the concrete like a cook with an egg on the side of the bowl. The man's brains leaked out from his cracked skull just like the egg yolk and he twitched and shivered. Then I stepped over him and ran towards an airplane, with Pete close behind me. Then I woke up.
Obviously, i had many other strange dreams after that one, since i kept drifting in and out of consciousness. But none of them quite as pertinent as these two.
Here is the situation: As those of you who read my blogs know, my parents are going through a rather nasty divorce... and I am feeling rather fatherless right now. Well in my 1st dream I finally said all the things to my step-father that I want to say now. The reason i haven't said them in real life is because I'm afraid that if I say them to him now, he will think my mother put me up to it and then it will be harder for her to win custody of my sister. I don't want to do any harm to them by speaking my mind. At the same time, I need to express this here, so I will.
I dreamt that we were (once again) in our trailer next to my grandmother's house (it hardly seems possible that I have not lived there for almost 6 years now, it remains so vividly etched in my memory). At any rate, we were in the master bedroom at the far right end of the trailer. He was talking to a little child, I think it was me as a child. I remember hearing myself speak to him.
"Fuck off, dad." This startled him from speaking to the child, then he looked at me and he grew very angry and told me to get out. This made me even more angry, so I turned and began screaming as I walked away.
"This is bullshit! A 'Godly' man doesn't treat his wife like this, a 'Godly' man doesn't treat his family like this. If he truly follows his God he does it with all of him not the parts that work out okay for him. Fuck you and Fuck off." Now, those are not the words of a young christian woman, but those of an enraged moralistic young woman. I just wish that the look in his eyes in my dreams had been sadness for what I was saying and guilt for what he was doing rather than Anger. Because then I could've truly believed that he still had a conscience or that he still at least belived the things he pounded into my brain as a child. "Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God." And right now, he is starving because he isn't even taking in some of the bread...
Then I dreamt about Toshi (X-Japan) and Masaya (now, ladies and gents, i've never spoken to Toshi before, I've never talked to Masaya but for some unknown reason Fawny and I had discussed some of the stuff going on there last night. I won't get into great detail on it. At any rate, it had been discussed before I went to bed. Now, I wasn't thinking about it when I went to bed, I had been thinking about a different dream from about a week ago... which we also won't talk about.) The next thing I know, I'm dreaming about it...
And obviously, because my mind can't handle exact truth, I had other things going in this dream too... Dragons to be specific. Has anyone seen Pete the Dragon? Yes, thats who was the template for the dragons in my dream. I even called him Pete.
All I can remember of Toshi is him standing next to this other man. This other man was shorter than Toshi, with black slicked back hair. A pudgy face and pudgy body. And he was wearing all black. He was very crisply dressed, looking very sharp. He and Toshi were shaking hands. He was someone always seen around Toshi and everyone else, but something wasn't right about it. He almost looked american from where I was standing. Obviously he wouldn't be, because he is from Asia, but it was all very odd.
Then I was dreaming about being with my "Pete" the dragon. And I was trying to protect him, but it wasn't working. The man who had been standing next to Toshi suddenly appeared. Dressed in silky/satiny grey pajamas. He seemed to think that I would sleep with him to keep Pete, or something like that. All I know is that there was a major undercurrent of sexuality trying to drag me under. Thats when we began to fight. We began by screaming at each other from opposite sides of this massive bed with Pete standing behind it. I was telling him all the lives he had destroyed: Toshi, and i named off many names I don't recall but it was understood that they were both people and dragons. He kept telling me that he made them better, and that he was sorry for their deaths, but it was not his fault. He had the cruelest smile painted across his face. Like the face of a demon in man's flesh...
Then I think I punched him, while Pete stood behind me, watching on. The man was stronger than I was and he was getting in a lot more hits. Strangely, I FELT every blow. I remember that I ripped all the buttons off his silky/satiny shirt and he became excessively angry, throwing more punches at me and beating me. At one point I got hold of some chain like objects. I swung them round and struck at him, but he caught it and wrapped it about his fist then delievered a blow to my mouth. He knocked my two front teeth loose (movign them back), but didn't knock them out. Blood was coming from my mouth for a few moments then stopped. (When I woke up, I was expecting to have a bloody mouth from the force of the blow to my teeth. Thats how much I felt the hit) Then he was on top of me, pushing me down onto the bed and he had an object that it was understood would kill me if it touched me. Out of desperation I cried out to Pete.
"Pete, HELP ME! Please, Pete, HELP!"
And i could see it go through his mind in pictures and words. "The man's head looks kind of like an egg, eggs break." A picture of an egg appeared and it cracked in two, spilling the yolk.
Right before Pete did anything a woman appeared, who I understood to by my mother or a mother figure. She said, "Who is it though?! Who is He?!"
And I cried out "Masaya! Its him!!" and then she looked at me, eyes wide, "OH! Its him! The one we've been looking for?!".
"YES! HELP ME!" then she disappeared. Then Pete took the man's head and with a swift crack of his dragon wrists brought the man's head down on the concrete like a cook with an egg on the side of the bowl. The man's brains leaked out from his cracked skull just like the egg yolk and he twitched and shivered. Then I stepped over him and ran towards an airplane, with Pete close behind me. Then I woke up.
Obviously, i had many other strange dreams after that one, since i kept drifting in and out of consciousness. But none of them quite as pertinent as these two.
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