Echo

The moon, shaped like a Cheshire cat's smile,
hung low in the twilight sky. A single silver star
is her only companion tonight.
All the parts of life's plays are winding down to just an
elegant phrase, not but pieces of sunset poetry
and misty eyes.
The willow's monologue drifts lazily on the breeze, her
weeping arms straining to hold him in place. Loving
fingers caress his beautiful face.
In love with his own face, he ignores those gentle caresses,
that straining embrace. Loved by only an echo, he wastes
away, eyes closing in this final scene, this last act.
Allowed only to repeat, her own voice lost in his soliloquy. No
monologue for her, cursed, no true love or own verse. She
fades into the Cheshire cat's smile, alone on a bruised twilight night.

A Duffy kind of Day... (dA)

Tue Dec 30, 2008, 6:44 PM

* Mood: Apprehensive
* Listening to: Delayed Devotion - Duffy
* Reading: My heart and mind, looking for answers
* Watching: the worst year ever end...
* Playing: that same old Wishing Game again
* Eating: Chocolate
* Drinking: Coca-Cola

Hello lovelies,
How is everyone?! I miss you all so very much. I wish I could find a bleeding job so I could get the internet running again. Wouldn't that be nice? *sigh*

Hannah has been very ill. So ill in fact that her fever spiked up to 105.1 at one point. I was the only one home with her, bc mom is working a second job to pay the bills. I had to call her father to have him bring me some liquid Tylenol because we were out and she was burning up. He brought the thermometer that told us that she was at 105.1. I had to get her into a cold bath, which obviously wasn't fun for her or me. He said she didn't need to go to the ER and there was nothing I could do with him there.

Luckily her temp came back down rather quickly once I got some tylenol in her and cold water on her. Then we found out that she had lice again. Because someone *cough* her father *cough* didn't give her the second treatment that she needed 7 to 10 days after the first.

I am so tired of this shit... *sigh*

The good news is that I love you all. And even with things being rough, I'm still here. I'm still breathing and I am not going to stop any time soon. :D

I am still madly in love with Donnie and I'm still writing some. I'll post some stuff when I get a chance. My only wish is that this next year will be better, because 2008 sucked big time!! It had its good points (Obama winning the election, getting a boyfriend, Oklahoma, etc...), but its bad points (losing Hannah, lice, etc...) have had me in a tizzy for most of it.

Looking forward to a new year and hopefully a new start for all of us. :D

Also, I would love it if I would stop having such graphic nightmares. That would be LOVELY!! *sigh* I'll get over it eventually.

Everyone should check out "Delayed Devotion" by Duffy, because I love it. I don't need it anymore, which means that I can appreciate it without having to associate with it. :D

Love to you all, write when I can.

Love ever so passionately,
Sarai

The Viper’s Flute

From ivory bone carved, dulcet whispers permeate the still air.
In sweetest poisons forged, notes dripping with forgotten blood.
By dead men's lips played, kissed with a venom most hypnotic
and buried without name.

About the knife-like fangs entwined, cadence flows gently on.
Tension rises, breath shallows, hollowed hearts flood with
the crescendo. Sweeter fly the notes, arrant and passionate,
filling every crevice and every mouth with honeyed disease.

Ethereal music swiftly plays, summoning angels and demons to
dance. Glittering like diamonds ablaze, it swells. Embraced by
a magic undefined and cursed by the Goddess that all who
touch must die.

Bound to the enchantment by force unseen, by the music captured.
To be kissed by Death's decaying lips and sway in dreamless
depths of silk. The price, kingdoms of hearts to pay. To breathe
darkest perfumes that only the viper's flute can play.

Updates. :D (dA)

Fri Dec 26, 2008, 1:55 PM

* Mood: Winter Downs
* Listening to: Let it Rock - Kevin Rudolf
* Reading: My poem...
* Watching: Robin Hood Men in Tights
* Playing: BioShock
* Eating: Wendy's
* Drinking: Mt. Dew

Hello everyone. I'm alive. thought you all might like to know. :D

Nothing really new going on. Christmas sucked as per usual. I hate the holidays, they give me nothing but grief. The only good bits were that I got to spend it with my mom, my brother and my boyfriend. Hannah wasn't with us for Christmas, she was with her father.

She came over on Sunday and stayed until Tuesday. She wasn't Hannah though. She was a real brat and I hate to say that it wasn't really fun while she was there. I love her to pieces, but she is so SPOILED!! Because her father wants to keep her in the frame of mind that he can give her everything while we have nothing.

The fucked up bit is that he makes $900 a week and he was pestering my mom about his child-support. Can you believe that?! She is barely making enough to survive and he is already bitching at her about her child-support check.

I'm kind of fed up with all the bullshit to be honest, but what can I do? Nothing.

Have been having lots of strange dreams recently, but don't really have time to go into them here. Have to get back to the book store so that my mom can go and clean for my aunt. I hurt to much to really do anything for my aunt today. Which also sucks.

Hope everyone else had a better Holiday. :hug: to all.

TTFN (dA)

Fri Dec 12, 2008, 10:56 PM

* Mood: Irritated
* Listening to: Jesus - Gackt
* Reading: My comments :D
* Eating: Pizza
* Drinking: Cola

Okay everyone... it is the day. At midnight tonight the internet and cable go off.

I'll talk to you all soon. Though, while I'm gone you should all go and check this out [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4plEI-mdOA] :dance: I am IN LOVE WITH IT!!! *sigh* Its the little things in life... you know?

Okay. so :hug: to everyone and I'll talk to everyone when I get back.

love,
Sarai

The Witch’s Harp

Once upon a time, in a land long forgotten by time, there lived a man who had two daughters. The older daughter was very beautiful, with long blood red spiral curls and flawless ivory skin that seemed to glow in any light. Around her neck she wore a jasper sand dollar, given to her by her father as an early wedding present as she was soon to be wed. The younger daughter was beautiful as well with pale green eyes and dark hair, but she was very selfish and greedy.

Now the man to whom the oldest was to be married was a very rich man. He was so very rich that he lived in a Crystal Castle on a cliff by the sea, waited on hand and foot by many servants and owned most of the forests that grew in their country. Not only this, but he was a very handsome man and well known through out the land for his intellect and wit. It came about one day, the youngest daughter became very jealous of her sister and desired to wed the groom herself.

One day, just before the older sister was to wed, the younger convinced her to go for a picnic deep in the forests that lay beyond the Crystal Castle by the sea. Hesitantly, the older agreed to the picnic and followed as her younger sister traveled into the woods. They traveled deeper and deeper and deeper still, so that the older sister began to fear that they would lose their way and be torn apart by wild animals. Thinking quickly, she took a one ribbon from one of the braids in her long crimson hair and tied it around a tree branch. And, as they journeyed on, she continued to remove ribbons from her braided hair to tie around the trees. As she was tying one ribbon she began to sing softly,

"This day am I, ribbons I leave, the trail to find. My sister is beautiful, though her soul is intent to kill. Her deepest wish that I shouldst die. Weep for me, soft nightingale."

"What are you singing fair sister?" asked the younger.

"I was only singing of what a beautiful day this will be." replied the older sister and she removed another ribbon to mark the way.

Finally, the younger sister stopped and began to lay out the picnic. When she was finished she looked up to see that her sister's hair was loose and flowing, jealousy sparked inside her and she asked,

"Why, sister, what has happened to your ribbons so that your hair is loose and apt to be tangled by the wind?"

I feared we would lose our way, so I tied my ribbons to tree branches so that we might find our way back to the Crystal Castle." she replied, seating herself on the blanket.

"Ah, what a clever sister have I." said the false sister. "But come now, let us eat and enjoy the day before we must return to your husband's house."

As the day waned and the sun began to set, the sisters began to pack away their picnic so that they might head home quickly before dark fell upon the forest. When they had finished packing, the younger turned to the older and went toward her as if to embrace her. But just as the older's arms wrapped about her sister's waist, she felt a sharp pain in her chest and looked down to see a beautiful dagger buried inside of her. Her eyes grew wide in pain as she stumbled and fell back, the dagger's jeweled hilt stained with her blood.

Swiftly, the younger sister removed the dagger and began to hack away at her sister's white dress, shredding it as a wild animal would. Then she rubbed some of her sister's blood on her own clothing and face, slashing at her own arms and dress so that it looked as if she, too, had been attacked. Yanking the jasper pendant off of her sister's neck she ran back to the Crystal Castle, following the ribbons that her sister had left to mark the path.

Upon arriving at the Crystal Castle, the sister threw open the doors screaming and crying that her sister had been killed. The man of the house and her father came running to her, catching her as she began to collapse to the floor. Once she came out of her faint, she told them a story of how they had gone for a picnic and were attacked by wild animals as they tried to make their way home. She cried many false tears as she related that her sister was dead, producing the stained sand dollar pendant as proof of her lies.

At her proof, the two men began to weep. News spread quickly through out the kingdom of the oldest daughter's death and the whole of the kingdom mourned for her sake.

A year and a day after she murdered her sister, the younger was in her room preparing for her wedding to the owner of the Crystal Castle. Around her neck hung her sister's jasper pendant, still slightly stained with the blood of it's previous owner. While she combed out her long dark hair, a knock sounded on the heavy doors of the great hall, just below her room. Quickly, she ran down the stairs to open the doors.

At the door stood a beggar woman, her blood red curls ratted and matted with leaves and twigs, her skin ashen and thin. In her hand she held a flower with a single black pearl embraced lovingly by the blood red petals. Wordlessly, she held it out to the younger sister, gesturing for her to take it. At first the younger woman seemed hesitant, then, with eyes full of greed, the younger sister took the flower. The beggar woman smiled, then began to sing,

"This day am I, ribbons I leave, the trail to find. My sister is beautiful, though in her soul is intent to kill. Her deepest wish that I shouldst die. Weep for me, soft nightingale."

The younger sister stood still a moment, her memory flooded with her sister's dying image. She flushed and looked at the woman before her, stamped her foot and angrily asked,

"How come you by that song beggar woman?"

"This way and that way, beautiful child. I learned it upon my harp." Then out from under her cloak, the beggar woman pulled a beautiful and fragile harp, one that looked as though it was made from the finest bone in all the world. The strings of this harp were long strands of gold, set in the frame with blood red pearls, the beggar woman smiled then, her toothless mouth gleaming in the lights from the hall. Tenderly, she touched a string, the soft tone of it almost sounded like weeping.

"You are a witch." cried the younger sister, covering her ears with her hands. She dropped the flower to the floor and as it fell it transformed into her sister, dressed in her white dress with a black cloak wrapped about her.

"No, sister," said the older. "I am the witch. When you left me to die in the forests alone, a wizard happened upon me. He healed my wounds and taught me magic. He then transformed me into the flower you so coveted, and brought me here for my revenge." With that, the beggar woman transformed into a tall man with long ivory hair and ebony skin. In his left hand was a white staff and in the other was the enchanted harp.

Taking the harp in hand, the witch strummed lightly, the strings pulling the younger sister closer.

"Come sister, don't you want to dance?" laughed the witch, playing a jaunty tune upon the harp.

The younger could not help but move, her hips swaying to the music, her feet merrily following in time. The witch played faster so that the younger sister's feet moved more swiftly, their own power dragging the girl across the crystal floors of her Crystal Castle. She covered her ears, screaming at the top of her voice, so that she might drown out the horrible sounds of the harp. For, because of her guilt, the music was instead the voice of Death singing of her dying moments.

The witch laughed and played ever faster, her wizard joining in on a silver violin. The two played as the younger twirled about so fast that she could not breathe. No longer able to with stand the enchantment, the sister threw herself out of one of the windows, flinging herself to the jagged rocks below. Her body was then eaten by the wolves of that country, leaving nothing behind but the jasper pendant.

Gently, the witch slowed her song to a mournful tune, her wizard slowing to match her. When the song finally ended, the harp disappeared along with the violin to some place that is not known to man. The wizard moved toward the witch, his hand sliding under her cloak so that it was pushed aside. And there, where her ribs should have been was nothing but emptiness. He grazed her face with one of his hands, as gently and tenderly as any lover, and watched as her soul passed from her decaying body and into the sky.

Gackt (dA)

Fri Dec 12, 2008, 1:11 AM

* Mood: Winter Downs
* Listening to: Pretty Little Angel - IAMX
* Reading: Sakuya's IM
* Eating: Ramen :D
* Drinking: Strawberry Kool-Aid

Rules of the game:

- Choose a singer/band/group
- Answer using ONLY titles of songs by that singer/band/group
- Tag 6 more people (let them know they've been tagged)

I choose Gackt

1. Are you male or female?
Maria

2. Describe yourself.
Vanilla

3. What do people feel when they're around you?
Mirror

4. How would you describe your previous relationship?
Mizerable

5. Describe your current relationship.
Love Letter

6. Where would you want to be now?
Black Stone

7. How do you feel about love?
Rebirth

8. What's your life like?
Oasis

9. What would you ask for if you had only one wish?
Secret Garden

10. Say something wise.
Jesus

New Works... (dA)

Thu Dec 11, 2008, 4:54 PM

* Mood: Stuck
* Listening to: Hanging on too long - Duffy
* Reading: A bunch of different classics
* Eating: Ramen :D
* Drinking: Mt. Dew

Okay, this is just so that everyone can look forward to later on this evening. I'm going to be posting a new piece I wrote today... Hopefully 2. :D If you are lucky.

I wrote a fairy tale today called "The Witch's Harp" and I can't wait to post it so you can all read it, before I have to disappear for a while. :D

I'm working on a piece of poetry called "The Viper's Flute", and I don't know how it is all going to work out, but I think it will be good once I finish. Beware that "The Witch's Harp" is going to need some editing, so please be gentle when critiquing. I appreciate it, but I don't want to be completely destroyed!!

love you all. :hug: to everyone

Sarai

I’m Coming

RULES..:
1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, ETC on Shuffle.


2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.


3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTE..R HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.


4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.


5. Put this on your blog.


1. If someone says, "Is this okay?" You say?
The Walk - Imogen Heap
[Yeah, I'd say some of the lines in there I would definitely use in response to "Is this okay"]


2. How would you describe yourself?
Misery - hide matsumoto
[HA HA!! That is so true right now!!]


3. What do you like in a guy/girl?
Nine Spiral - Gackt
[Not a good way to start a relationship... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrC7hzLHM7w]

4. How do you feel today?
Tokyo Shounen - Nightmare
[Um, I don't even know the translation to that]


5. What is your life's purpose?
Simple Girl - IAMX
[my life's purpose is to be a simple girl]


6. What is your motto?
Moebius no Yuutsu - Nightmare
[Yep, have no idea again. I just love the song]


7. What do your friends think of you?
Onepa - Vitas
[HA HA HA!!]


8. What do you think of your parents?
Let it Rock - Kevin Rudolf; w/Lil' Wayne
[Well with my mom, definitely we should rock.]


9. What do you think about very often?
Come what May - Ewan McGregor; Nicole Kidman
[I do think about what comes next a lot...]


10. What is 2 + 2?
Unison - Celine Dion
[Yes, 2 + 2 = Unison]


11. What do you think of your best friend(s)?
Death Wish - Gackt
[LOL!!]


12. What do you think of the person you like?
12gatsu No love song - Gackt
[We don't need love songs]


13. What is your life story?
Crush - David Archuleta
[Yeah, that pretty much describes my life]


14. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Cold - Crossfade
[no comment]


15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Man Up - Omarion; Bi Rain
[*giggles*]


16. What will you dance to at your wedding?
REGRET - The GazettE
[once again, no comment]


17. What will they play at your funeral?
I.V. - X-Japan
[Well, that would be awesome, but not an appropriate funeral song]


18. What is your hobby/interest?
Pretty Little Angel - IAMX
[*shrug*]


19. What is your biggest fear?
Break Anotha - Blake Lewis
[Actually, that is a big fear]


20. What is your biggest secret?
Neo Visualism - Miyavi
[Yes, that is my secret]


21. What do you think of your friends?
Leavin' - Jesse McCartney
[They all leave eventually]


22. What will you post this as?
I'm Coming - Bi Rain

Friday is the Day... (dA)

Wed Dec 10, 2008, 9:01 PM

* Mood: Questionable
* Listening to: Circus - Britney Spears
* Drinking: Strawberry Kool-Aid

Yes people, Friday is the day that I'm leaving you all for awhile. *sigh*

Mom is doing better, she has been cleared to go back to work tomorrow. Which is good bc we have NO money. At all. Which is shitty, but that's what happens when you can't find a job and your mother gets sick and can't work. Or gets head lice and can't work.

I feel like giving up on the whole damn thing, but know that I can't. It would be stupid to give up at this point in the game. Some days I feel like I've been thrown into a blender. Other days I feel pretty good.

Another bout... (dA)

Wed Dec 10, 2008, 11:01 AM

* Mood: Grouchy
* Listening to: The End of the World - Satoko Ishimine
* Drinking: Strawberry Kool-Aid

Mom has lice.

Untouched (the poem)

The walls are broken, the stairs are misshapen.
The windows flood with broken bits of light.
The shadows fall down, their blood is binding,
captive inside barren rooms.

She creeps down the halls, faded portraits and
withered flowers grace the crumbling wallpaper.
She barely breathes, afraid that breathing might
destroy what is left of this facade.

The dimming lights from forgotten lampposts
glitter in her dreamless dreams. She can't
speak, breathing cerise in an ivory womb.
Faint lines speak of what lies underneath her.

Her confliction takes on flesh, it grows limbs.
It gains heft and vigor, it seems to live as
she has lived. A fire cackles, like a burning
witch's last farewell, a spark of being.

The roof is crestfallen, the doors crucified to
their posts. The hall is filling with water,
the rooms echo with the sound of drowning
shadows and ethereal cries for help.

She remains untouched, dancing within the
brackish guilt that floods the rafters of her
reality. The cadence of each step, aching and
yearning for release from her magical chains.

Accidentally Lied...

Mom says she is going to turn off the cable and the internet on Friday, because she gets paid then and can pay for last month's usage. And she is NOT going to get rid of the phone because she realized that we really need it.

Oh and did I mention that I got lice? No? Well I did. Shortly after I posted yesterday's blog, I was sitting with Donnie on my bed and I saw a bug crawling on his shirt where I had just being laying my head. It was a louse. I freaked.

He says it could be a different bug, one that just looks like a louse. He checks my hair and says that he doesn't see a damn thing. I scratch my head a moment later and get one under my fingernail. I start screaming and crying and going into hysterics. (It is probably good to note at this time that I've discovered that I'm parasitophobic)

So, to try and calm me, my mom checked me too. She didn't see anything. Donnie checked me again. Nothing. But I was still freaking out, so we dyed my hair Burgundy. After my shower to rinse my hair I found a dead one. I gave it to Donnie to show that I wasn't going insane and he showed it to my mom. So it was official, I had lice.

Then this morning mom found more lice in the sink and on my hairbrush. So I need to re-dye my roots again (because they didn't hold anyway) and see if that helps. *sigh* When does it all end?!

Okay, not so fairwell for now... (dA)

Journal Entry: Mon Dec 8, 2008, 3:05 PM

* Mood: Tense
* Listening to: Wall to Wall - Chris Brown
* Eating: Ramen
* Drinking: Strawberry Kool-Aid

Bleh,
Mom says she is going to turn off the cable and the internet on Friday, because she gets paid then and can pay for last month's usage.

Oh and did I mention that I got lice? No? Yes. Shortly after I posted yesterday's journal, I was sitting with my boyfriend and I saw a bug crawling on his shirt where I had just being laying my head. It was a louse. I freaked.

He says it could be a different bug, one that just looks like a louse. He checks my hair and says that he doesn't see a damn thing. I scratch my head a moment later and get one under my fingernail. I start screaming and crying and going into hysterics. (It is probably good to note at this time that I've discovered that I'm parasitophobic)

So, to try and calm me, my mom checked me too. She didn't see anything. Donnie checked me again. Nothing. But I was still freaking out, so we dyed my hair Burgundy. After my shower to rinse my hair I found a dead one. I gave it to Donnie to show that I wasn't going insane and he showed it to my mom. So it was official, I had lice.

Then this morning mom found more lice in the sink and on my hairbrush. So I need to re-dye my roots again (because they didn't hold anyway) and see if that helps. *sigh* When does it all end?!

Fairwell for Now... (dA)

Journal Entry: Sun Dec 7, 2008, 7:33 PM

* Mood: Frustrated
* Listening to: Same Old Lang Syne - Dan Fogelberg
* Eating: Ramen as per usual... Do I ever eat anything else?
* Drinking: Lemon Iced Tea

Hey everyone,
this is a note to say that I'm going to be losing my internet connection, my cable connection and my phone connection until further notice. I'll still be on every now and again, but for now this is all you get.
I hope to have an inbox full of deviations and messages when I am next able to check this. Love to you all.

Love,
Sarai

LEAVING YOU ALL!!!

Okay here is the deal:
Things have gotten too expensive with the cable, the telephone and the internet. Therefore as of tonight we will no longer have any of those things. You will not be able to contact me for awhile except through my mother's cell phone which only has so many minutes.

Love you all, write when I can.
love,
Sarai

Not a Fairy Tale (dA)

Journal Entry: Thu Dec 4, 2008, 2:47 PM

* Mood: Frustrated
* Listening to: Dispar - Gackt
* Drinking: Soda!! YAY!

Okay, I started working on a fairy tale yesterday, one in a similar format to "The Bald Frog", but my writer's block kicked my ass.

So now I'm sitting here favoriting everybody and trying to get back to my ideas.

I still haven't finished that poem about Izanami either.

And I just feel really REALLY blocked!! It fucking sucks!! I hate feeling plugged up.

I hate not being able to write and I hate this horrible head itch that I have going on, on top of everything else!! *screams*

So, how are you?

Oklahoma: The Final Decision

I want to start this off by thanking everyone who reads my blogs. I never knew I had so much support until I noticed my Week Views count last week, which spiked to 55 views. I have NEVER had that many views in a week. Thank you all very much.

I am NOT moving back to Oklahoma at this time. And yes, this is the official announcement of my decision.

My reasons for this are the following (I am not going to list ALL of my reasons, but if you would like the full list you may ask me for it):
1. Mom needs me. Her job is not paying enough and she needs me since Shallis (a roommate for a while) was a bitch and moved out. I am STILL looking for a job and probably will work with her to bring in some kind of money.
2. I don't like the idea of trying to find a job in Shawnee without having my GED or my license. Both of which I'm most likely going to be getting here. (As part of my mom's agreement with Wes, he HAS TO pay for my Driver's Ed)
3. I'm not quite ready to end my relationship with Donnie, and he isn't ready to move to Oklahoma.
4. I don't want to come back to Oklahoma empty handed like I did when I first got there. It isn't right to do that to my roommates.
5. I'm really confused as to what it is I want right now. I know that I want to live in Oklahoma and I know that I love Donnie and I know that I want a better life than what my roomies and I have right now.

Brown Eyed Girl

Pomme is the latest person to dream about me with J-Rockers. In this particular dream she said that Gackt was going on and on about how he was in love with me because of my "beautiful big brown eyes". Which made me blush like crazy, because, even in a dream, that is a big compliment. I am proud to be a brown eyed girl because Gackt loves my eyes. LOL!!

No new updates. Been trying to write and still have horrible writer's block.

:D

Staying... (dA)

Journal Entry: Mon Dec 1, 2008, 2:31 PM

* Mood: Distracted
* Listening to: DBSK
* Reading: Paradise Lost by John Milton
* Watching: Prince Caspian (BBC America Version)
* Playing: the "Maintain Balance" game
* Eating: Shredded Wheat
* Drinking: Soda

I didn't know how to go about doing this, but decided it would be best to write a journal here and avoid my MySpace for a few moments...

I'm not moving back to Oklahoma for the time being. In fact, I am going to be going and getting my stuff and moving it back here to Indiana. My roomie is going to be pissed, but I needed to make this decision and I did.

I have realized a few things recently about life... It is a tilt-a-whirl and my balance is shaky. But I need to do what I feel is best for myself in this situation. I don't want to go back to Oklahoma for the time being. I want to explore this relationship I have with the wonderful boyfriend before I decide that it is ending.

I don't want to go back partially because of what is going on there, partially because I feel trapped there and partially because I really do care about the boyfriend and am not ready to relinquish the relationship (as we are both opposed to long distance relationships, ours would end if and when I moved back to Oklahoma).

Oh well, new poem for anyone who cares. I'm off to shower...

Fucked Up

Baby, quit fucking with my mind.
You cling to me, saying softly, "mine".
Then you say you don't want me to
just stay for your sake. What about
staying for my own?

Stop holding me so tightly, then
telling me to go! Make up your mind,
do you want me to stay or do you want
me to go?

You say its getting serious, too fast
for your tastes. We are moving to
quickly in your opinions. Do mine even
matter in this instance?

If you don't want to be serious why
did you open the doors? Why did you
pry at my heart's icy chains? If you don't
want this to last forever why play games?

Baby quit fucking with my heart, I'm
not a doll, I have feelings too. Yours are
buried, but mine aren't. So speak,
talk in straight sentences, succinctly and
politely.

I have given you everything I
have to give. Everything I held dear,
everything I was saving up. You say
thank you, then turn away, what
does that mean?!

I'm confused, but I love you so I'll stay.
Not for you, but for my own sake.
I can't leave you behind, not like you
can leave me. I can't forget those arms
that held me, whispering "mine".