Okay, these are lists of people that I wouldn't mind being with... >.> ... <.< ... >.> *continues acting shifty*
If you are not on the list, that doesn't mean that i don't want to be with you, it just means that I either am not currently attracted to you, or you have a spouse/partner/what-have-you that I don't want to tangle with... *shifty eyes* Plus I wanted to keep the lists down to 10 people each, because I have 6 lists to present. Plus Pomme's lists Those will be at the end. First will be mine!! Let the listing begin!!
Sarai's Lists
Top 10 Asian Men
1. Gackt (http://www.d-addicts.com/forumfiles/gackt_gackt_gackt_144.jpg)
2. Kai (http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u102/xDyingBeauty/The%20Gazette/Kai/4btnls4.jpg)
3. Yoshiki (http://photos.friendster.com/photos/63/06/37086036/1_715111702l.jpg)
4. Pata (http://kaorublade.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/_pata.jpg)
5. Ruki (http://i201.photobucket.com/albums/aa99/maofish/9ruki2.png)
6. Tora (http://img138.imageshack.us/img138/8877/alicenine4tora231kjty9.jpg)
7. Reita (http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i14/XxXMeshaReadingXxX/gazette/Reita/reita10.jpg)
8. Ryonai (http://www.jmignited.com/trans/ryonaisama.jpg)
9. Jay Chou (http://photos4.flickr.com/5166861_01414ca828.jpg)
10. Jet Li (http://www.topnews.in/light/files/Jet-Li.jpg)
Top 10 African-American Men
1. Wentworth Miller (yes, he is black!) (http://www.exposay.com/celebrity-photos/wentworth-miller-entertainment-weekleys-5th-annual-pre-emmy-party-srz6Ae.jpg)
2. Barack Obama ( *shifty eyes* ) (http://www.podcastingnews.com/content/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/barack-obama1.jpg)
3. LeVar Burton (http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/regional_editions/globe_west/west/levar.JPG)
4. Sidney Poitier (http://arts.osu.edu/3news_events/b_featured_events/featured_events_fall07/images/sidneypoitier_web.jpg)
5. Usher (http://urie.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/593-usher.jpg)
6. Tahj Mowry (http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTc1MDIwMDU3MV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwNjA0MjMz._V1._SX305_SY399_.jpg)
7. Shemar Moore (http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/famecrawler/2007/11/23-End%20of%20Month/shemar_moore.jpg)
8. Corbin Bleu (http://www.thestarscoop.com/archives/photos/corbin_bleu.jpg)
9. Morgan Freeman (http://www.derok.net/images/legends/morgan%20freeman.jpg)
10. Louis Gossett Jr. (http://www.mtsu.edu/~cdinit/conference/2003/Louis_Gossett_Jr._2.jpg)
Top 10 White Men
1. Orlando Bloom (http://www.thecinemasource.com/moviesdb/images/Orlando%20Bloom%20-1-300.jpg)
2. Viggo Mortensen (http://bestof.provocateuse.com/images/photos/viggo_mortensen_97.jpg)
3. Ronnie Winter (http://www.99xwjbx.com/dm_images/intros/070514144954.jpg)
4. Josh Holloway (http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x279/JordinaJamaica/josh-holloway_05m.jpg)
5. Josh Groban (http://media.canada.com/idl/mtgz/20061101/14751-5157.jpg)
6. Shia LaBeouf (http://www.imnotobsessed.com/more/shia-labeouf-distr.jpg)
7. Pierce Brosnan (http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMjA5MjA2OTY0NV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwODIzOTU2._V1._SX264_SY400_.jpg)
8. Matthew Gray Gubler (http://i.models.com/oftheminute/images/2007/12/matt.jpg)
9. Elijah Wood (http://handson.provocateuse.com/images/photos/elijah_wood_05.jpg)
10. Eric McCormack (http://l.yimg.com/img.tv.yahoo.com/tv/us/img/site/20/93/0000022093_20060921164830.jpg)
Top 10 Dead Men (if they were Alive!)
1. hide matsumoto (http://www.blog.j-rock4u.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/hide_291.jpg)
2. Cary Grant (http://www.jozjozjoz.com/archives/CaryGrant.jpg)
3. Heath Ledger (http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/080123/heath/heath-ledger-dead_l.jpg)
4. Paul Newman (http://www.lashonhara.net/img/2004/paul_newman.jpg)
5. Clark Gable (http://hollywoodjokes.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/gone-with-wind-clark-gable-4.jpg)
6. Yul Brynner (http://www.geocities.com/crawfordgirl/yusultry.jpg)
7. John Wayne (http://musicmaven.files.wordpress.com/2007/05/john-wayne-7228.jpg)
8. James Dean (http://perfectnika.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/james-dean2.jpg)
9. Gregory Hines (http://www.theatredance.com/legends/gh001.jpg)
10. Charlie Chaplin (http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/PYR/PP30492~Charlie-Chaplin-Posters.jpg)
Top 10 Men of All Time
1. Wentworth Miller (http://hikowent.pbwiki.com/f/wentworth-miller-gq03.jpg)
2. Gackt (http://spectacle.provocateuse.com/images/spectacles/gackt_camui_01.jpg)
3. Kai (http://yuki-hl.wrzuta.pl/img/middle/3rOtn3mn21/kai_z_the_gazette)
4. Ruki (http://images.quizilla.com/N/NY/NYR/nyrata/1176328952_teRuki4etg.JPG)
5. Viggo Mortensen (http://www.librarising.com/astrology/celebs/images2/T-Z/viggomortensen.jpg)
6. Jay Chou (http://clovetwo.com/interactive/blog/photos/2007/10/31/eli221_1.jpg)
7. Pata (http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Ginza/7846/pata.jpg)
8. Yoshiki (http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a263/Galran/Yoshiki/72bl8.jpg)
9. Shemar Moore (http://ifitandhealthy.com/wp-content/images_celeb/shemar-moore-shirtless-is-shemar-moore-gay.jpg)
10. Michael Douglas (http://www.sp.uconn.edu/~jstiver/Eco230/michael_douglas_p1.jpg)
and just for the hell of it...
Top 10 Women
1. Marilyn Monroe (http://www.topnews.in/usa/files/marilyn-monroe.jpg)
2. Keira Knightley (http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2006/celebdatabase/keiraknightley/keira_knightley1_300_400.jpg)
3. Natalie Portman (http://shoelala.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/natalie-portman-shoe-collection.jpg)
4. Ellen DeGeneres (http://tv.popcrunch.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/ellen_degeneres.jpg)
5. Halle Berry (http://akalol.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/halle_berry.jpg)
6. BoA (http://kpoplover4ever.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/boa.jpg)
7. Salma Hayek (http://www.celebrity-exchange.com/celebs/photos46/selma-hayek.jpg)
8. Lindsay Lohan (http://images.starpulse.com/Photos/Previews/Lindsay_Lohan_umvd002.jpg)
9. Audrey Hepburn (http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd67/artstar_4923/Audrey-Hepburn.jpg)
10. Anne Frank (http://www.holocaustresearchproject.org/nazioccupation/images/Anne%20Frank.jpg)
and Now... Pomme's List!!!
Top 10 Asian Men
1. Gackt/Tora (its a tie!) (http://a908.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/87/l_ca38e3b18e6d88c8fc6a87fd843cf5a3.jpg / http://c2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/7/l_a3230d9600584d4e9066b2de90860991.jpg)
2. Maya (http://cdimg3.crunchyroll.com/i/spire2/01252008/9/9/1/f/991f598f72bf20_full.jpg)
3. Ryutarou (http://a13.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/80/l_9ea208f8b15c26084626a6692354d444.jpg)
4. Kai (http://a842.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/113/l_5c9f865fa2e84960ee93ec0659ce6389.jpg)
5. Aoi (http://a385.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/93/l_ac153e9960b7749da8983e346e230e10.jpg)
6. Ruki (http://a381.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/94/l_3c345ad68b0e71ff4e2f2e5dae68546c.jpg)
7. Miyavi (http://a318.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/12/l_d4076e99ae78a882d46ccff245b0e22d.jpg)
8. Asagi (http://a582.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/19/l_eb5b4fc9dd372710fa2e8ab9c3142015.jpg)
9. Yoshiki (http://a893.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/91/l_b9f6cd0b1c61c94f67e73d6500dd8a6c.jpg)
10. Hitsugi/Hiroto (another tie!) (http://a233.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/8/l_594342fa86fb8c372841e641eb88cee0.jpg / http://a77.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/27/l_158fb30792a64af1bf3e1c9907978f14.jpg)
Top 10 Men of All time
1. Gackt/Tora (http://a675.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/65/l_e64c6c5e3e2b90ccc02a8834dc741712.jpg / http://c2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/31/l_821fe0021866411580818b1d09c7465d.jpg)
2. Bill Kaulitz (http://www.spirit-of-metal.com/membre_groupe/photo/Bill_Kaulitz-12544_263d.jpg)
3. Jared Leto (http://upload.moldova.org/movie/actors/j/jared_leto/thumbnails/tn2_jared_leto_2.jpg)
4. Aoi (http://c2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/20/l_d157313a5fc94dd4bc696cd7fc238f71.jpg)
5. Maya (http://c3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/43/l_70d25c188d5c4f50a145ca7da093c572.jpg)
6. Shemar Moore (http://handson.provocateuse.com/images/photos/shemar_moore_01.jpg)
7. Miyavi (http://a453.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/74/l_9efb28ffe51ef19779fa48f6e37d7c3c.jpg)
8. David James Elliot (http://www.nndb.com/people/935/000108611/david-james-elliott.jpg)
9. Kai (http://a991.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/102/l_4a76cbc0175cab12fa0bcb4807597836.jpg)
10. Matthew Gray Gubler (http://i.realone.com/assets/rn/img/7/6/2/4/17394267-17394271-large.jpg)
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Paul Newman
I was so sad to find out today that acting legend and one of my biggest heroes, Paul Newman, passed away on Friday at the age of 83. He had been fighting a long battle with Cancer.
I'm literally in shock. Paul Newman was one of the most amazing men of all time. I respected him for not only his long and distinguished career as a movie star, but also for his 50 year marriage to his wife. He was an amazing and talented person and shall be greatly missed by me.
RIP: Paul Newman.
I'm literally in shock. Paul Newman was one of the most amazing men of all time. I respected him for not only his long and distinguished career as a movie star, but also for his 50 year marriage to his wife. He was an amazing and talented person and shall be greatly missed by me.
RIP: Paul Newman.
Friday, September 26, 2008
My Hair, the not-as-interesting sequels... (dA)
Journal Entry: Fri Sep 26, 2008, 7:00 PM
I hope this one works better than the last one. But you know, my aunt has been doing my hair for years, so i think it will.
Oh well.
Moving on, am working on some new poetry, but have been very distracted by this lovely person called my boyfriend.
A lot of interesting stuff going on there and I guess I'm still trying to figure it out. I hope to have the return of my muse soon.
- Mood:
Uneasy - Listening to: Kowarete iku Sekai - Girugamesh
- Eating: Toast
- Drinking: Mt. Dew
I hope this one works better than the last one. But you know, my aunt has been doing my hair for years, so i think it will.
Oh well.Moving on, am working on some new poetry, but have been very distracted by this lovely person called my boyfriend.
A lot of interesting stuff going on there and I guess I'm still trying to figure it out. I hope to have the return of my muse soon. Thursday, September 25, 2008
Birthday (dA)
Journal Entry: Thu Sep 25, 2008, 11:30 PM
As a birthday gift, my aunt said that she would dye my hair purple red. I am excited. It will get rid of my oh-so-obvious roots and be closer to what I wanted originally.
Nothing new happening here. Spent some time with my boyfriend, whose picture i'm going to post today. I figure everyone deserves to see him in all his beauty!
and, just for DaYog, SPARKLES!!!! *dies laughing*
- Mood:
Passionate - Listening to: Dispar - Gackt
- Reading: My IM's
- Eating: Cherry bit cake with Cherry Icing
- Drinking: Water
As a birthday gift, my aunt said that she would dye my hair purple red.
I am excited. It will get rid of my oh-so-obvious roots and be closer to what I wanted originally.Nothing new happening here. Spent some time with my boyfriend, whose picture i'm going to post today.
I figure everyone deserves to see him in all his beauty!and, just for DaYog, SPARKLES!!!! *dies laughing*
Needs some revision
We are both broken. Bent by time's withering grasp,
shattered by life's beautiful and tragic dance. Both gasping
for air, trying to cling to one another like our lives depend
on it. In a way they do, without you I can't seem to breathe.
Does it even matter any more? Is this really worth
fighting for? We are both struggling so hard, afraid to
be hurt again, afraid of the truth. But sweetie, I love you.
I trust you, I believe in you. Why ruin a good thing?
Why are we so afraid?
shattered by life's beautiful and tragic dance. Both gasping
for air, trying to cling to one another like our lives depend
on it. In a way they do, without you I can't seem to breathe.
Does it even matter any more? Is this really worth
fighting for? We are both struggling so hard, afraid to
be hurt again, afraid of the truth. But sweetie, I love you.
I trust you, I believe in you. Why ruin a good thing?
Why are we so afraid?
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
To Someone I once loved...
Dear __________,
There are no words venomous enough to use against you at this point in time. I only wish there were so that I might convey my deepest contempt for you and your self-righteousness. At one point I loved you, but it was so long ago now that I can't even remember what it feels like to love you. There are absolutely no mature or adult words to tell you how Done I am with you and everything having to do with you except my sister. She is the only thing left of you that I care about.
First of all I would like to thank you for the moments where you were actually a good father. I will always be grateful for your stepping in when Derwin stepped out. But as I mentioned above, I am done with you. I am divorcing you and your memory. Derwin is a better father than you are right now and I haven't even heard from him in 7 years! I am fed up with the way you treat my mother, the way you treat my brother and the way you seem to believe you are always right. Which you aren't, by the way.
You are one of the most stupid, hypocritical, vindictive and petty men I have ever had the misfortune of meeting. I can't believe that I used to respect you, that I used to look up to you for wisdom! I can't believe that I ever actually cared about what you thought. Those days are over now, because you destroyed any respect, love or other emotions I had for you besides pity and contempt.
It is my sincerest wish that the Loving and Just God you claim to serve does the just thing with you and allows you to burn in Hell for all eternity. Though, even that seems to pleasant for you.
You are the most disgusting excuse for a human being that I have EVER encountered. I hope everything you try to do in the name of God turns foul and that everyone turns against you.
Godly, upright men do not do the things you are currently doing. They do not manipulate people, abuse their wives, leave their children in danger or follow God when it suits their purpose. You cannot use the Bible for your own selfish reasons. Godly men don't twist the Bible's words to make it fit so that they are not in sin. Your treatment of my mother is the most shameful thing I've ever seen. Your disregard of the safety and well-being of my sister is repulsive and the height of stupidity. Your actions toward myself are disturbing and even now make me feel sick to my stomach.
You are a selfish, lying, contemptible bastard and I hate you. I'm done being nice and keeping my mouth shut. You are a Prick. I would absolutely love to tear your intestines out of your body through your dick and make you eat them. And, as aforementioned, I hope you rot in Hell for all time.
Sincerely,
Sarai Lillie
There are no words venomous enough to use against you at this point in time. I only wish there were so that I might convey my deepest contempt for you and your self-righteousness. At one point I loved you, but it was so long ago now that I can't even remember what it feels like to love you. There are absolutely no mature or adult words to tell you how Done I am with you and everything having to do with you except my sister. She is the only thing left of you that I care about.
First of all I would like to thank you for the moments where you were actually a good father. I will always be grateful for your stepping in when Derwin stepped out. But as I mentioned above, I am done with you. I am divorcing you and your memory. Derwin is a better father than you are right now and I haven't even heard from him in 7 years! I am fed up with the way you treat my mother, the way you treat my brother and the way you seem to believe you are always right. Which you aren't, by the way.
You are one of the most stupid, hypocritical, vindictive and petty men I have ever had the misfortune of meeting. I can't believe that I used to respect you, that I used to look up to you for wisdom! I can't believe that I ever actually cared about what you thought. Those days are over now, because you destroyed any respect, love or other emotions I had for you besides pity and contempt.
It is my sincerest wish that the Loving and Just God you claim to serve does the just thing with you and allows you to burn in Hell for all eternity. Though, even that seems to pleasant for you.
You are the most disgusting excuse for a human being that I have EVER encountered. I hope everything you try to do in the name of God turns foul and that everyone turns against you.
Godly, upright men do not do the things you are currently doing. They do not manipulate people, abuse their wives, leave their children in danger or follow God when it suits their purpose. You cannot use the Bible for your own selfish reasons. Godly men don't twist the Bible's words to make it fit so that they are not in sin. Your treatment of my mother is the most shameful thing I've ever seen. Your disregard of the safety and well-being of my sister is repulsive and the height of stupidity. Your actions toward myself are disturbing and even now make me feel sick to my stomach.
You are a selfish, lying, contemptible bastard and I hate you. I'm done being nice and keeping my mouth shut. You are a Prick. I would absolutely love to tear your intestines out of your body through your dick and make you eat them. And, as aforementioned, I hope you rot in Hell for all time.
Sincerely,
Sarai Lillie
Monday, September 22, 2008
And the winner for best giggle is...
Fawny says:
So we're going with a NO on the whole imaculate conception... that's good.
Sarai says:
yes
Fawny says:
Yeah I kinda figured as much.
Sarai says:
If i was preggo something would be terribly wrong
Fawny says:
Nah, it would just mean I lost out in the running to carry the next Anti-Christ... I'd be pretty heartbroken... in fact I am now going to do a little happy dance to signify my still being in the running and all...
Fawny says:
Fawny says:
See?
Fawny says:
Happy dance...
Sarai says:
LOL!!! *dies laughing*
Sarai says:
so blogging that right there
Fawny says:
How are you going to blog my happy dance... the blog would kinda lose it's magic without my happy dance... it would make me all cry faced...
Fawny says:
Fawny says:
See?
Fawny says:
Cry faced...
So we're going with a NO on the whole imaculate conception... that's good.
Sarai says:
yes
Fawny says:
Yeah I kinda figured as much.
Sarai says:
If i was preggo something would be terribly wrong
Fawny says:
Nah, it would just mean I lost out in the running to carry the next Anti-Christ... I'd be pretty heartbroken... in fact I am now going to do a little happy dance to signify my still being in the running and all...
Fawny says:
Fawny says:
See?
Fawny says:
Happy dance...
Sarai says:
LOL!!! *dies laughing*
Sarai says:
so blogging that right there
Fawny says:
How are you going to blog my happy dance... the blog would kinda lose it's magic without my happy dance... it would make me all cry faced...
Fawny says:
Fawny says:
See?
Fawny says:
Cry faced...
Sunday, September 21, 2008
My Guest List
Okay, for those of you who care, my 20th birthday is happening in 3 days (September 25th). I have nothing planned for it, but I have begun to plan what I want for my 21st birthday (next year). I want to have it in Japan. 
So here is a partial list of people I want to have there (so that you can start saving your money for it now!!)
Fawn
Donnie
Pomegranate
Judes
Kendra
Bethany
Gackt
Ryan
Chris
Yoshiki
Toshi
Heath
Pata
Sugizo
Hannah
My mom, Debra
Pia (my older sister)
Heleen (my other sister)
Kai
Ruki
Reita
Uruha
Aoi
Tora
Shou
Sakuya
Nao
Hiroto
Saga
Sarah Jo
Wentworth Miller
JD
Sara
Seth
Kait
Jaime
Kyo
Shinya
Die
Kaoru
Toshiya
Rose
Attack
X-mas
Typhoon
As aforementioned, thats just a partial list. Its not finished yet. Basically I want a HUGE party. I've never had a birthday party (well, I had a small one, once, held by my friend Sara) and since it is the big one for me, I want it to be special.
I am planning on Karaoke (I want to hear Fawn and Yo sing Electric Cucumber!!), drinking games (well, obviously) and lots of Cake!! Sounds like fun right?! So, start saving those pennies now. September 25th, 2009 is only 368 days away!!
Ps. If your name isn't on the list and you want to be invited, leave me a comment!! Just keep in mind that i'm still compiling and that your name may not have been overlooked, just not on this rough draft.
So here is a partial list of people I want to have there (so that you can start saving your money for it now!!)
Fawn
Donnie
Pomegranate
Judes
Kendra
Bethany
Gackt
Ryan
Chris
Yoshiki
Toshi
Heath
Pata
Sugizo
Hannah
My mom, Debra
Pia (my older sister)
Heleen (my other sister)
Kai
Ruki
Reita
Uruha
Aoi
Tora
Shou
Sakuya
Nao
Hiroto
Saga
Sarah Jo
Wentworth Miller
JD
Sara
Seth
Kait
Jaime
Kyo
Shinya
Die
Kaoru
Toshiya
Rose
Attack
X-mas
Typhoon
As aforementioned, thats just a partial list. Its not finished yet. Basically I want a HUGE party. I've never had a birthday party (well, I had a small one, once, held by my friend Sara) and since it is the big one for me, I want it to be special.
I am planning on Karaoke (I want to hear Fawn and Yo sing Electric Cucumber!!), drinking games (well, obviously) and lots of Cake!! Sounds like fun right?! So, start saving those pennies now. September 25th, 2009 is only 368 days away!!
Ps. If your name isn't on the list and you want to be invited, leave me a comment!! Just keep in mind that i'm still compiling and that your name may not have been overlooked, just not on this rough draft.
Kidney Stones (dA)
Journal Entry: Sun Sep 21, 2008, 8:14 PM
Anyway, nothing new besides that right now. Well besides the fact that I am now willing to kill my step-father. I won't, so don't worry. but i wants to!!!
For future reference, if you are thinking about getting said kidney stones, DON'T!! They aren't fun, no matter what the brochures say. Just like how Sadaam's hideout was as pretty. Damn thing didn't even have a waterfront as promised. *sigh*
- Mood:
Pain - Listening to: the television
- Reading: DaYog's im
- Watching: Boy George
- Playing: the "I don't need to pee again" game
- Eating: Munster Cheese
- Drinking: Water
Anyway, nothing new besides that right now. Well besides the fact that I am now willing to kill my step-father. I won't, so don't worry. but i wants to!!!
For future reference, if you are thinking about getting said kidney stones, DON'T!! They aren't fun, no matter what the brochures say. Just like how Sadaam's hideout was as pretty. Damn thing didn't even have a waterfront as promised. *sigh*
Friday, September 19, 2008
Knowing is half the battle...
To everyone who has ever been raped, sexually abused or had something inappropriately sexual happen to them, I'm here to say a few important things to you.
1. It is NEVER Your Fault. Place the blame completely and totally on the shoulders of the person who did this to you. If you are taking the blame, they are getting off scott-free. Which is Wrong. They violated your body, you didn't ask for them to do that, you did nothing to deserve what happened to you. This does NOT make you a bad person and it doesn't mean that you were bad person before it happened.
2. Please, PLEASE, Tell someone!! Tell someone what happened, an authority figure, an adult. You have no idea how important it is to tell someone about what happened so that something can be done. People who commit these acts will only escalate them and it can eventually lead to worse things for other people. Talk to the police about what happened, because later you could regret not talking to the police.
3. Seek some form of counseling. Sometimes it takes talking things out to a professional to get things straightened out. Talking to a professional does not make you crazy, it does not mean that you are screwed up for life. It just means that you realized that you needed more support than friends and family can give. That doesn't make you weak or stupid or dramatic. Needing help is normal. Everyone needs help.
The reason I'm saying all this is because somethings have been happening that put sexually related crimes into my mind. My sister for example. I am worried about what may or may not be happening to her while she is staying with my step-father and his "roommate". This roommate stays all night, alone with my little sister while her father is at work. That worries me.
I was raped at 3 1/2 by a family friend. My mother took me to someone who said nothing had happened to me. Even though I was showing all the classic symptoms of having been sexually assaulted and sexually abused. This was while we were in California visiting my Grandmother. When we got back to Indiana my mother took me to a counselor who said that I had indeed been been at the least abused sexually. By then everyone considered it to late to do anything. Luckily, this story has a happy ending. As far as we know, he didn't do anything to anyone else. But that's as far as we know.
I have been molested and sexually abused and sexually harassed my entire life. And I blamed myself for a really long time. I truly did believe that everything was my fault. I brought it on myself, or I deserved it. I didn't tell my mom about a lot of it until it was too late to do anything. I never went to the police until recently about different things. God only knows who else has been abused or is being abused because I never spoke up. That is something I regret.
I will admit, I am terrified of not only men, but women too because of all the stuff that has happened to me. And for a really long time I thought I would never be able to overcome it. But in the past year or so I have realized that I have to talk about what has happened and seek help. I've been in counseling many times. And I hate it. I hate having to relive that shit. But you know what? It helps. Knowing that this person is going to listen to me, they aren't going to judge me and will help me get through it is wonderful. Because sometimes friends and family can't help with these kinds of things.
So please, if you are currently being sexually abused or have been in the recent past, Do something. If not for yourself then for other women and men who may suffer because we never speak up.
Take back your power. Speak Up.
Here are links to Sexual Abuse Support Groups:
http://www.darkness2light.org/GetHelp/support_adult_survivor.asp (for survivors of child sexual abuse)
http://www.rainn.org/get-help/national-sexual-assault-online-hotline?gclid=CPO1jN-26JUCFSWlQAodtRIxeQ (online help for rape victims)
http://www.soundvision.com/Info/socialservice/sexabusevictimwest.asp (this one has a Muslim touch to it, but they are correct in everything that they say [except number 15, but you know that is a personal choice which one has to make. Whether you believe in a God or not, it can't hurt] and give important tips on how to deal with having been sexually abused, assaulted or harassed.)
I hope these help anyone who needs them.
1. It is NEVER Your Fault. Place the blame completely and totally on the shoulders of the person who did this to you. If you are taking the blame, they are getting off scott-free. Which is Wrong. They violated your body, you didn't ask for them to do that, you did nothing to deserve what happened to you. This does NOT make you a bad person and it doesn't mean that you were bad person before it happened.
2. Please, PLEASE, Tell someone!! Tell someone what happened, an authority figure, an adult. You have no idea how important it is to tell someone about what happened so that something can be done. People who commit these acts will only escalate them and it can eventually lead to worse things for other people. Talk to the police about what happened, because later you could regret not talking to the police.
3. Seek some form of counseling. Sometimes it takes talking things out to a professional to get things straightened out. Talking to a professional does not make you crazy, it does not mean that you are screwed up for life. It just means that you realized that you needed more support than friends and family can give. That doesn't make you weak or stupid or dramatic. Needing help is normal. Everyone needs help.
The reason I'm saying all this is because somethings have been happening that put sexually related crimes into my mind. My sister for example. I am worried about what may or may not be happening to her while she is staying with my step-father and his "roommate". This roommate stays all night, alone with my little sister while her father is at work. That worries me.
I was raped at 3 1/2 by a family friend. My mother took me to someone who said nothing had happened to me. Even though I was showing all the classic symptoms of having been sexually assaulted and sexually abused. This was while we were in California visiting my Grandmother. When we got back to Indiana my mother took me to a counselor who said that I had indeed been been at the least abused sexually. By then everyone considered it to late to do anything. Luckily, this story has a happy ending. As far as we know, he didn't do anything to anyone else. But that's as far as we know.
I have been molested and sexually abused and sexually harassed my entire life. And I blamed myself for a really long time. I truly did believe that everything was my fault. I brought it on myself, or I deserved it. I didn't tell my mom about a lot of it until it was too late to do anything. I never went to the police until recently about different things. God only knows who else has been abused or is being abused because I never spoke up. That is something I regret.
I will admit, I am terrified of not only men, but women too because of all the stuff that has happened to me. And for a really long time I thought I would never be able to overcome it. But in the past year or so I have realized that I have to talk about what has happened and seek help. I've been in counseling many times. And I hate it. I hate having to relive that shit. But you know what? It helps. Knowing that this person is going to listen to me, they aren't going to judge me and will help me get through it is wonderful. Because sometimes friends and family can't help with these kinds of things.
So please, if you are currently being sexually abused or have been in the recent past, Do something. If not for yourself then for other women and men who may suffer because we never speak up.
Take back your power. Speak Up.
Here are links to Sexual Abuse Support Groups:
http://www.darkness2light.org/GetHelp/support_adult_survivor.asp (for survivors of child sexual abuse)
http://www.rainn.org/get-help/national-sexual-assault-online-hotline?gclid=CPO1jN-26JUCFSWlQAodtRIxeQ (online help for rape victims)
http://www.soundvision.com/Info/socialservice/sexabusevictimwest.asp (this one has a Muslim touch to it, but they are correct in everything that they say [except number 15, but you know that is a personal choice which one has to make. Whether you believe in a God or not, it can't hurt] and give important tips on how to deal with having been sexually abused, assaulted or harassed.)
I hope these help anyone who needs them.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Corbin: Part II
My God-Son.
Corbin Allen Kennedy
7 pounds, 7 ounces
20 1/2 inches
Born at 12:32pm on Tuesday, September 16th, 2008.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
I’M A GODMOTHER!!!!
YES ITS TRUE!!!!
Kendra had Corbin Allen Kennedy at 12:32pm today (September 16th). He weighs 7 pounds and 7 ounces and is 20 1/2 inches long. He has blue eyes and some hair. He is healthy by all accounts, mother and baby are doing well.
They did NOT have to do a c-section, she was able to have him normally. They started the Pitocin (the stuff for inducements) at 6:30am and then Corbin arrived at 12:32pm.
Kendra had Corbin Allen Kennedy at 12:32pm today (September 16th). He weighs 7 pounds and 7 ounces and is 20 1/2 inches long. He has blue eyes and some hair. He is healthy by all accounts, mother and baby are doing well.
They did NOT have to do a c-section, she was able to have him normally. They started the Pitocin (the stuff for inducements) at 6:30am and then Corbin arrived at 12:32pm.
Unhappily in Love
I don't understand myself. Well, okay, I do, but its pissing me off anyway!!
How is it possible to be "unhappily in love"?! Don't get me wrong, I'm happy. Happier than any girl has a right to be, but I'm not. Does that make any sense to anyone?! Okay, let me explain.
I realized yesterday that I am pushing Donnie away, then pulling him back, thinking that I must be suffocating him, then pushing him away again. Since about the 3rd week of our relationship, I've been racking my brain trying to find things that are wrong with it. Wrong with us, reasons we shouldn't be together. But you know what? There are NO reasons why we shouldn't be together.
I can honestly say that there is nothing wrong with our relationship. The only thing that could possibly be wrong is that we don't have each other near by all the time. Other than that, We have everything and we are both happy. But I'm so terrified of being happy that I'm trying to ruin this relationship by over-analyzing and pushing him away. But I don't want to push him away, I am tired of over-analyzing. I love him. I love him more than anything in this world (besides my family) and I don't want to lose him. But the deeper I fall in love with him, the more I seem to try and find a way to ruin it. I guess it is my insecurities flaring up and all the fears of being hurt again.
In my last relationship it was easy to find the flaws and to expose them so that it was over. It was easy to end that relationship, because I knew it was doomed from the beginning. Yeah, it hurt like hell, because I did care about him, but it was easy to not have him than to have him. Which makes no sense.
Maybe its because I've been alone for so long? Or maybe I am just that scared of getting hurt? I don't know. I'm confused and unhappy and happy and in love and torn between all my conflicting emotions!!
HELP!!
How is it possible to be "unhappily in love"?! Don't get me wrong, I'm happy. Happier than any girl has a right to be, but I'm not. Does that make any sense to anyone?! Okay, let me explain.
I realized yesterday that I am pushing Donnie away, then pulling him back, thinking that I must be suffocating him, then pushing him away again. Since about the 3rd week of our relationship, I've been racking my brain trying to find things that are wrong with it. Wrong with us, reasons we shouldn't be together. But you know what? There are NO reasons why we shouldn't be together.
I can honestly say that there is nothing wrong with our relationship. The only thing that could possibly be wrong is that we don't have each other near by all the time. Other than that, We have everything and we are both happy. But I'm so terrified of being happy that I'm trying to ruin this relationship by over-analyzing and pushing him away. But I don't want to push him away, I am tired of over-analyzing. I love him. I love him more than anything in this world (besides my family) and I don't want to lose him. But the deeper I fall in love with him, the more I seem to try and find a way to ruin it. I guess it is my insecurities flaring up and all the fears of being hurt again.
In my last relationship it was easy to find the flaws and to expose them so that it was over. It was easy to end that relationship, because I knew it was doomed from the beginning. Yeah, it hurt like hell, because I did care about him, but it was easy to not have him than to have him. Which makes no sense.
Maybe its because I've been alone for so long? Or maybe I am just that scared of getting hurt? I don't know. I'm confused and unhappy and happy and in love and torn between all my conflicting emotions!!
HELP!!
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Sickly (dA)
Journal Entry: Sun Sep 14, 2008, 12:12 PM
The only things I can say are, thanks to everyone who has been talking to me and helping me stay positive with everything that is going on in my crazy world. I really appreciate the friendships!!
I'm not posting very much, because I'm very random right now. Some days I have inspiration and other days I have none. I have posted a photograph and I posted a poem the other day. I hope everyone enjoys it.
Later folks!!!
- Mood:
Yearning - Listening to: Gackt
- Reading: Exquisite Corpse by Poppy Z. Brite
- Watching: everything get turned upside down
- Playing: the "I will not be sick again" game
- Eating: Lorna Doone Shortbread Cookies
- Drinking: Water
The only things I can say are, thanks to everyone who has been talking to me and helping me stay positive with everything that is going on in my crazy world. I really appreciate the friendships!!
I'm not posting very much, because I'm very random right now. Some days I have inspiration and other days I have none. I have posted a photograph and I posted a poem the other day. I hope everyone enjoys it.
Later folks!!!
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Miyavi’s Sweet Pea Kumquat Kitten
For those who care to know, the above title is actually my sister, Hannah's, newest nickname as given to her by Pomegranate. Hannah realized over last weekend that J-Rock isn't so bad and that she really, really, likes Miyavi. It ended with her calling him her boyfriend, it was really cute. I am such a horrible influence, getting my sister to fall for MYV and other J-Rockers!
And this blog is about Hannah, but not because of her new nickname. I don't know what all to say, without embarrassing her, though she will never read this. She is such a beautiful little girl, she is so smart and mature for her age. All the little boys adore her. She loves to write and spending time with her big sister, playing chess and laughing. Her favorite types of cats are seal point, blue point and flame point siamese. Her favorite color is purple, she loves Johnny Depp, she loves Miyavi, she wants to have a fancy convertible some day, she loves Edgar Allan Poe, she loves the Original Grimm's Fairy Tales, she likes 2 songs by Gackt (but she maintains that she doesn't like him), she loves Cary Grant movies, she loves to sing, her favorite band is Paramore, one of her favorite movies is Sweeney Todd: Demon Barber of Fleet Street, she likes scary movies and she wants to travel the world. Her best friend is named Maddie. She is allergic to black pepper, green beans and cats (but we often joke that she doesn't eat them anymore).
Some of you maybe questioning why I am listing off different things about my sister, but its kind of to prove a point. How many of the above things that I listed do you think her father knows about her? I don't understand her father. I can't even stand to call him dad anymore because he isn't the guy that stepped in when my real dad stepped out. The only reason he wants her is so that he doesn't have to pay my mother child support.
He fought so hard for my dad to have to pay child support, but he is unwilling to do the same for his own child. What kind of person does that? Keeps their child in a potentially dangerous place just so they don't have to pay any money. And he is keeping her as his one personal servant, like my mom was for so many years. He makes her cook for them, leaves her alone with a man who isn't related to her all night, its like he is treating her like she is a piece of property to be won in a fight.
I get so tired of men like him. Men that claim to be "christians", claim to be "Godly", "righteous" and lovers of the "truth". Well the truth is she isn't safe and I don't know what to do because the judge won't listen to my mom and he sure won't listen to anything I have to say.
And I miss her more than anything in this whole world.
And this blog is about Hannah, but not because of her new nickname. I don't know what all to say, without embarrassing her, though she will never read this. She is such a beautiful little girl, she is so smart and mature for her age. All the little boys adore her. She loves to write and spending time with her big sister, playing chess and laughing. Her favorite types of cats are seal point, blue point and flame point siamese. Her favorite color is purple, she loves Johnny Depp, she loves Miyavi, she wants to have a fancy convertible some day, she loves Edgar Allan Poe, she loves the Original Grimm's Fairy Tales, she likes 2 songs by Gackt (but she maintains that she doesn't like him), she loves Cary Grant movies, she loves to sing, her favorite band is Paramore, one of her favorite movies is Sweeney Todd: Demon Barber of Fleet Street, she likes scary movies and she wants to travel the world. Her best friend is named Maddie. She is allergic to black pepper, green beans and cats (but we often joke that she doesn't eat them anymore).
Some of you maybe questioning why I am listing off different things about my sister, but its kind of to prove a point. How many of the above things that I listed do you think her father knows about her? I don't understand her father. I can't even stand to call him dad anymore because he isn't the guy that stepped in when my real dad stepped out. The only reason he wants her is so that he doesn't have to pay my mother child support.
He fought so hard for my dad to have to pay child support, but he is unwilling to do the same for his own child. What kind of person does that? Keeps their child in a potentially dangerous place just so they don't have to pay any money. And he is keeping her as his one personal servant, like my mom was for so many years. He makes her cook for them, leaves her alone with a man who isn't related to her all night, its like he is treating her like she is a piece of property to be won in a fight.
I get so tired of men like him. Men that claim to be "christians", claim to be "Godly", "righteous" and lovers of the "truth". Well the truth is she isn't safe and I don't know what to do because the judge won't listen to my mom and he sure won't listen to anything I have to say.
And I miss her more than anything in this whole world.
Abused Farewells
Bruised flesh where his lips once cradled her skin.
Fingerprints where his hands had once been.
Torn into pieces, he loved her more, alive in his heart.
His mind, not grasping the depth of what has happened.
She runs from his touch, his caress. That sensation
that used to lull her to sleep, used to give her peace
suddenly breaks her heart. She left him, left for a
man who never cared, never loved her, only abused her.
Now she lies still, the cuts have worn her soul thin.
The black eye was from a fall, the broken arm an
accident. Nothing was his fault, she never blamed
him. Why did she leave the one that truly loved her?
He sits in the front row, tear streaked face, watery
lime green eyes littered with unsaid goodbyes. He
can't help but think that he let her die. And all those
missing memories, fall together and fly.
"Death be not happy," he whispers. "Taken angel,
fly." He gives her the rose, his last goodbye. And
for a moment, permitted this small gift, her frozen
lips, pull into one final smile.
Fingerprints where his hands had once been.
Torn into pieces, he loved her more, alive in his heart.
His mind, not grasping the depth of what has happened.
She runs from his touch, his caress. That sensation
that used to lull her to sleep, used to give her peace
suddenly breaks her heart. She left him, left for a
man who never cared, never loved her, only abused her.
Now she lies still, the cuts have worn her soul thin.
The black eye was from a fall, the broken arm an
accident. Nothing was his fault, she never blamed
him. Why did she leave the one that truly loved her?
He sits in the front row, tear streaked face, watery
lime green eyes littered with unsaid goodbyes. He
can't help but think that he let her die. And all those
missing memories, fall together and fly.
"Death be not happy," he whispers. "Taken angel,
fly." He gives her the rose, his last goodbye. And
for a moment, permitted this small gift, her frozen
lips, pull into one final smile.
Still waiting...
Yes, thats correct, We are still waiting for Corbin.
The induction didn't work. Which apparently happens every now and then, surprisingly. Didn't know that was possible.
Then, I somehow caught a bug. Now I'm sicker than a dog and not with Kendra. I feel like the shittiest friend ever because I am not there for my friend when she needs me. But I don't want to get her sick or get Corbin sick, because that would be even WORSE.
Will let everyone know once the baby actually gets here.
She will be getting another induction this coming Tuesday (Sept. 16th) and if that doesn't work then they are going to do a C-section. I hope it works, because the recovery time for a C-section sucks!!!
The induction didn't work. Which apparently happens every now and then, surprisingly. Didn't know that was possible.
Then, I somehow caught a bug. Now I'm sicker than a dog and not with Kendra. I feel like the shittiest friend ever because I am not there for my friend when she needs me. But I don't want to get her sick or get Corbin sick, because that would be even WORSE.
Will let everyone know once the baby actually gets here.
She will be getting another induction this coming Tuesday (Sept. 16th) and if that doesn't work then they are going to do a C-section. I hope it works, because the recovery time for a C-section sucks!!!
Monday, September 8, 2008
CORBIN!!!
Hey everyone, this is to let you all know that i'm going to be gone for a while, Kendra is getting induced tomorrow at 6:30am and I'm leaving tonight to go so that I'll be there for the birth!!
Will let you all know what happens!!!
Love you all!!
Will let you all know what happens!!!
Love you all!!
Friday, September 5, 2008
America and why I’m tired of the shit.
Okay, another rant, by moi.
I hate America. I'm going to come right out and say it. I hate the United States of America. I don't want to bomb it or burn it to the ground, but I am so tired of the bullshit. I am tired of a government that says that we are "forward thinking" and preaches "freedom" but then denies people the right to get married, denies people the right to have their own religions (without major persecution) and continuously proves that we have no true Freedom.
Inspite of what the good ol' USA would like you to believe, there is no real freedoms here. At least if you stay in your own country you will know exactly what your government has to say about your freedom. "You have none. Get the fuck over it." Whilst, their policies may suck, at least they are up front about the lack of rights and freedoms. I would rather live under a government that is up front about their lack of freedoms/rights, than one that says I have them and then turns around and says I don't. I am done with Hypocritical.
Not to mention our treatment (as a country) of various ethnic groups, homosexuals, pot heads (I'll explain), Jews, women and religious groups. The list of people that America has offended in one way or another is simply horrendous. Did you know that it is okay in the town I grew up in to chase a person out of town because of her religious views?
I had a friend, Faheema, who was Muslim. She was from Pakistan and the town I grew up in chased her and her whole family out of town because they couldn't get over September 11, 2001. The year she got run out was 2005. While this young lady was in school she was told she couldn't wear her traditional dress, because it was "offensive". Her rights were violated, but that's okay, no one cares about a Muslim girl. This same town had an organized Ku Klux Klan meeting shortly after I went to school dressed as a Muslim girl. In this town, any Asian person is still called a "dirty Jap" because of World War II!! And this particular young woman wasn't even Japanese!! She was Chinese!
Another example of the USA's hypocrisy, our treatment of the President of Iran last year. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, sixth president of Iran, wanted to pay his respects at Ground Zero. He was denied this. Why? Because it was a "security risk". Excuse me?! A security risk? How the hell is it a security risk to allow a man to pay respects at a destroyed piece of ground? He wanted to lay a wreath at the site, OH MY GOD! We can't let him lay a fucking wreath at the base of a destroyed landmark. My God, that would just be awful! You know why it was a "security risk"? Because he is Muslim, because he is from Iran, because America is the most prejudiced country in the world, she just doesn't have the balls to admit it! What more harm could be done to Ground Zero? My step-father said once that it was "sacrilegious". Sacrilegious? You're kidding right? How is it sacrilegious to allow someone to pay respects to the dead and the destruction of two buildings? Ground Zero isn't holy ground. Yes, horrible things happened there, but you know what? Worse things have happened at other places and you can read about them in the links at the end.
Yes, we have definitely come away from Slavery (by the way, if you think that slavery only applies to Black people, here is a hint: it doesn't. Native Americans were enslaved, Asians were enslaved, White people were enslaved if they tried to help others escape. Slavery was committed against almost all races in the USA before its abolishment), the Trail of Tears, the Interracial Marriage laws, etc. But we haven't come very far. The unrest over interracial marriages is lying restlessly in its grave and Same-sex marriage is still struggling to get off the ground.
To try and better explain myself, I'm going to post a conversation I was having with my beloved Pomegranate and her friend, Sakuya on messenger.
Sarai says:
so I feel like blogging about how much I hate America.
Pomegranate says:
well silly you shouldn't hate America you are living here
Pomegranate says:
but you could dislike it
Sarai says:
Ah, but I do so very much.
Sarai says:
*sigh*
Sakuya says:
I hate America.... and I'm half CHEROKEE. America is ours..... Ya'll just stole it...
Sarai says:
I am part Cherokee as well.
Sarai says:
I just hate how hypocritical we are
Sakuya says:
Cherokee?
Sarai says:
Yes
Pomegranate says:
hey I had nothing to do with it...
Sarai says:
I know, Pome
Sarai says:
I don't hate you
Pomegranate says:
I am the innocent one...
Sarai says:
*huggles*
Pomegranate says:
thats nice to know
Sarai says:
I just hate how Hypocritical America is. I am tired of living in a country where we say "Freedom, Freedom" and then no one has any real freedom. People are still murdered for what they believe, for their colour, for their sexual preferences. I am so SICK OF HYPOCRITES!
Pomegranate says:
I don't hate anything... I just strongly disagree with our Ideals as Americans.
Sakuya says:
lmao
Sakuya says:
you need to read my recent blog then
Pomegranate says:
I told her she did.
Pomegranate says:
Well I think anywhere you go you will find hypocrites because we are all human. And we do fuck up and misjudge people. God knows I have dealt with that a million times... But I learn from it. I do have to say though... that I am sick of being judged. It depresses me people stop talking to me because of other friends.. I am saddened by it.
Sarai says:
Sweetie, I'm not talking about hypocritical people. I'm talking about hypocritical government. At least in other countries they come right out and say YOU CAN'T DO THIS!
Sarai says:
And I'm tired of the people who support this government and allow it to continue
Sarai says:
That's why I want Obama so badly. I think he might be able to help out and maybe change some of the problems. Plus it will show that anyone can be president. not just some old white man
Sakuya says:
oui....
Pomegranate says:
My opinion on that remains to myself. I don't voice my opinions on a lot of things like this anymore.
Sakuya says:
I'm tired of them telling us we can't get married....
Sarai says:
AMEN!
Sakuya says:
And letting our people be beaten and brutalized.... and murdering our children, and then NOT getting the same punishment they would have gotten for killing a straight man!
Sarai says:
Exactly!! That's what I'm talking about. The same goes for people of different religions and nationalities. The whole system is fucked up. And no one seems to care
This country was stolen from the Native Americans, built on the blood of millions of Native Americans, Black people, Asian people and poor Europeans. Then we deny said peoples the right to do anything. The USA denies them the rights to practice their religion, to marry whomever they choose, to learn, to work. We deny people the right to speak up, even though we have the right to free speech written into our laws.
Okay, I'm sure everyone is wondering why I put pot heads into the mix. Well, as much as I hate to say it, the situation in California is messed up. The constitution says that the Government (Federal Government) shall not interfere with the laws of the individual states (this is supposed to make it so that the Democratic Republic doesn't become a Communistic Republic). California law states that the use of Marijuana (or Pot) is legal if used for medical reasoning. They have shops in California for the legal sale of Marijuana as a prescribed drug to someone who is ill. Even though it is perfectly legal in the state of California, the government (Federal Government) still comes in and closes it down and places innocent people in jail. And in case you didn't read what I said a moment ago, it is Against the constitution to interfere with the individual state government. I would call it "interfering" to close a legal shop and arrest innocent people when it isn't against the law in said State.
If you are wondering why I have women in there, I guarantee that it is not for the reason that you think. I am one of those people that believe that if we want things equal they are going to be equal in all things. Did you know that women are less likely to receive the death penalty here for the plain and simple fact that she has a vagina? I don't believe in that. Women fought so hard for equal rights, the right to work alongside men, to die in battle with men. They deserve to be put to death if they commit horrendous crimes. And there have been women who have done horrible things, the same as any man. I just believe that if you believe in equal rights, it should be equal in all forms of the word.
For more information on the horrors that the United States Government has committed on various peoples, you can go to the following websites. I hope you will read what these websites have to say, because it is important that everyone understand what is REALLY going on here!!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_immigration_to_the_United_States
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haun%27s_Mill_massacre
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slavery_in_the_United_States
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Watts_Riots
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wounded_Knee_Massacre
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kent_State_massacre
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waco_Siege
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruby_Ridge
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oklahoma_City_Bombing
For more information on anything you have read in this blog you may feel free to write me a message on my MySpace or e-mail me at dauntfreesparro18@yahoo.com
I hate America. I'm going to come right out and say it. I hate the United States of America. I don't want to bomb it or burn it to the ground, but I am so tired of the bullshit. I am tired of a government that says that we are "forward thinking" and preaches "freedom" but then denies people the right to get married, denies people the right to have their own religions (without major persecution) and continuously proves that we have no true Freedom.
Inspite of what the good ol' USA would like you to believe, there is no real freedoms here. At least if you stay in your own country you will know exactly what your government has to say about your freedom. "You have none. Get the fuck over it." Whilst, their policies may suck, at least they are up front about the lack of rights and freedoms. I would rather live under a government that is up front about their lack of freedoms/rights, than one that says I have them and then turns around and says I don't. I am done with Hypocritical.
Not to mention our treatment (as a country) of various ethnic groups, homosexuals, pot heads (I'll explain), Jews, women and religious groups. The list of people that America has offended in one way or another is simply horrendous. Did you know that it is okay in the town I grew up in to chase a person out of town because of her religious views?
I had a friend, Faheema, who was Muslim. She was from Pakistan and the town I grew up in chased her and her whole family out of town because they couldn't get over September 11, 2001. The year she got run out was 2005. While this young lady was in school she was told she couldn't wear her traditional dress, because it was "offensive". Her rights were violated, but that's okay, no one cares about a Muslim girl. This same town had an organized Ku Klux Klan meeting shortly after I went to school dressed as a Muslim girl. In this town, any Asian person is still called a "dirty Jap" because of World War II!! And this particular young woman wasn't even Japanese!! She was Chinese!
Another example of the USA's hypocrisy, our treatment of the President of Iran last year. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, sixth president of Iran, wanted to pay his respects at Ground Zero. He was denied this. Why? Because it was a "security risk". Excuse me?! A security risk? How the hell is it a security risk to allow a man to pay respects at a destroyed piece of ground? He wanted to lay a wreath at the site, OH MY GOD! We can't let him lay a fucking wreath at the base of a destroyed landmark. My God, that would just be awful! You know why it was a "security risk"? Because he is Muslim, because he is from Iran, because America is the most prejudiced country in the world, she just doesn't have the balls to admit it! What more harm could be done to Ground Zero? My step-father said once that it was "sacrilegious". Sacrilegious? You're kidding right? How is it sacrilegious to allow someone to pay respects to the dead and the destruction of two buildings? Ground Zero isn't holy ground. Yes, horrible things happened there, but you know what? Worse things have happened at other places and you can read about them in the links at the end.
Yes, we have definitely come away from Slavery (by the way, if you think that slavery only applies to Black people, here is a hint: it doesn't. Native Americans were enslaved, Asians were enslaved, White people were enslaved if they tried to help others escape. Slavery was committed against almost all races in the USA before its abolishment), the Trail of Tears, the Interracial Marriage laws, etc. But we haven't come very far. The unrest over interracial marriages is lying restlessly in its grave and Same-sex marriage is still struggling to get off the ground.
To try and better explain myself, I'm going to post a conversation I was having with my beloved Pomegranate and her friend, Sakuya on messenger.
Sarai says:
so I feel like blogging about how much I hate America.
Pomegranate says:
well silly you shouldn't hate America you are living here
Pomegranate says:
but you could dislike it
Sarai says:
Ah, but I do so very much.
Sarai says:
*sigh*
Sakuya says:
I hate America.... and I'm half CHEROKEE. America is ours..... Ya'll just stole it...
Sarai says:
I am part Cherokee as well.
Sarai says:
I just hate how hypocritical we are
Sakuya says:
Cherokee?
Sarai says:
Yes
Pomegranate says:
hey I had nothing to do with it...
Sarai says:
I know, Pome
Sarai says:
I don't hate you
Pomegranate says:
I am the innocent one...
Sarai says:
*huggles*
Pomegranate says:
thats nice to know
Sarai says:
I just hate how Hypocritical America is. I am tired of living in a country where we say "Freedom, Freedom" and then no one has any real freedom. People are still murdered for what they believe, for their colour, for their sexual preferences. I am so SICK OF HYPOCRITES!
Pomegranate says:
I don't hate anything... I just strongly disagree with our Ideals as Americans.
Sakuya says:
lmao
Sakuya says:
you need to read my recent blog then
Pomegranate says:
I told her she did.
Pomegranate says:
Well I think anywhere you go you will find hypocrites because we are all human. And we do fuck up and misjudge people. God knows I have dealt with that a million times... But I learn from it. I do have to say though... that I am sick of being judged. It depresses me people stop talking to me because of other friends.. I am saddened by it.
Sarai says:
Sweetie, I'm not talking about hypocritical people. I'm talking about hypocritical government. At least in other countries they come right out and say YOU CAN'T DO THIS!
Sarai says:
And I'm tired of the people who support this government and allow it to continue
Sarai says:
That's why I want Obama so badly. I think he might be able to help out and maybe change some of the problems. Plus it will show that anyone can be president. not just some old white man
Sakuya says:
oui....
Pomegranate says:
My opinion on that remains to myself. I don't voice my opinions on a lot of things like this anymore.
Sakuya says:
I'm tired of them telling us we can't get married....
Sarai says:
AMEN!
Sakuya says:
And letting our people be beaten and brutalized.... and murdering our children, and then NOT getting the same punishment they would have gotten for killing a straight man!
Sarai says:
Exactly!! That's what I'm talking about. The same goes for people of different religions and nationalities. The whole system is fucked up. And no one seems to care
This country was stolen from the Native Americans, built on the blood of millions of Native Americans, Black people, Asian people and poor Europeans. Then we deny said peoples the right to do anything. The USA denies them the rights to practice their religion, to marry whomever they choose, to learn, to work. We deny people the right to speak up, even though we have the right to free speech written into our laws.
Okay, I'm sure everyone is wondering why I put pot heads into the mix. Well, as much as I hate to say it, the situation in California is messed up. The constitution says that the Government (Federal Government) shall not interfere with the laws of the individual states (this is supposed to make it so that the Democratic Republic doesn't become a Communistic Republic). California law states that the use of Marijuana (or Pot) is legal if used for medical reasoning. They have shops in California for the legal sale of Marijuana as a prescribed drug to someone who is ill. Even though it is perfectly legal in the state of California, the government (Federal Government) still comes in and closes it down and places innocent people in jail. And in case you didn't read what I said a moment ago, it is Against the constitution to interfere with the individual state government. I would call it "interfering" to close a legal shop and arrest innocent people when it isn't against the law in said State.
If you are wondering why I have women in there, I guarantee that it is not for the reason that you think. I am one of those people that believe that if we want things equal they are going to be equal in all things. Did you know that women are less likely to receive the death penalty here for the plain and simple fact that she has a vagina? I don't believe in that. Women fought so hard for equal rights, the right to work alongside men, to die in battle with men. They deserve to be put to death if they commit horrendous crimes. And there have been women who have done horrible things, the same as any man. I just believe that if you believe in equal rights, it should be equal in all forms of the word.
For more information on the horrors that the United States Government has committed on various peoples, you can go to the following websites. I hope you will read what these websites have to say, because it is important that everyone understand what is REALLY going on here!!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_immigration_to_the_United_States
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haun%27s_Mill_massacre
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slavery_in_the_United_States
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Watts_Riots
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wounded_Knee_Massacre
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kent_State_massacre
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waco_Siege
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruby_Ridge
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oklahoma_City_Bombing
For more information on anything you have read in this blog you may feel free to write me a message on my MySpace or e-mail me at dauntfreesparro18@yahoo.com
Monday, September 1, 2008
Breaking OUT!!!! (dA)
Journal Entry: Mon Sep 1, 2008, 6:54 PM
I get to see Wentworth Miller in all his glory and hopefully enjoy the episode!!
Nothing else of importance to mention, I just love Wentworth Miller (well, and my boyfriend, Donnie!).
No new work going on right this moment, but you will obviously be updated when there will be.
- Mood:
Love Dazed - Listening to: Scrubs
- Eating: Ramen
- Drinking: Mt. Dew
I get to see Wentworth Miller in all his glory and hopefully enjoy the episode!!
Nothing else of importance to mention, I just love Wentworth Miller (well, and my boyfriend, Donnie!).
No new work going on right this moment, but you will obviously be updated when there will be.
September
YAY SEPTEMBER!!! *dances*
September is my month, friends!!
In this month I will:
~ Turn 20.
~ Welcome my god-son into the world.
~ Celebrate my 1 month anniversary with my boyfriend.
~ Work my ass off getting a job and finding a place to live until I get back to Oklahoma.
~ Enjoy my friends, both old and new.
~ Lose some weight!!
~ Watch the world slowly die, and know that soon she will rise again in the spring. Its so beautiful and thought provoking to watch her die.
~ Be happy because no matter what may happen, I have people who love me.
~ Learn to let go of things I can't do anything about.
In case you couldn't tell, I LOVE September! When its September it feels like the world is right, even when it isn't. Bad things can happen, but I don't care, because it is my month, the one where I can really shine. I'm a little sentimental about this month.
Also, I have a tendency to right most of my best poems in this month.
Hope everyone's September is as good as I expect mine to be!!
September is my month, friends!!
In this month I will:
~ Turn 20.
~ Welcome my god-son into the world.
~ Celebrate my 1 month anniversary with my boyfriend.
~ Work my ass off getting a job and finding a place to live until I get back to Oklahoma.
~ Enjoy my friends, both old and new.
~ Lose some weight!!
~ Watch the world slowly die, and know that soon she will rise again in the spring. Its so beautiful and thought provoking to watch her die.
~ Be happy because no matter what may happen, I have people who love me.
~ Learn to let go of things I can't do anything about.
In case you couldn't tell, I LOVE September! When its September it feels like the world is right, even when it isn't. Bad things can happen, but I don't care, because it is my month, the one where I can really shine. I'm a little sentimental about this month.
Also, I have a tendency to right most of my best poems in this month.
Hope everyone's September is as good as I expect mine to be!!
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