I am not dead, But I am not alive (dA)

Journal Entry: Wed Apr 9, 2008, 1:52 PM

• Mood: Depressed
• Listening to: japanese music
• Reading: daughter of blood
• Watching: the rain fall
• Playing: the "i won't cry again" game
• Eating: chicken stew
• Drinking: water

For those of you who were wondering where in heaven's good name Sarai has gone, I am here to tell you that I am not dead. The last 5 days of packing and play performances took a lot out of me and so I did not write. I have been living in Oklahoma successfully for the past 5 days. I have lived here almost a week! YAY!

On to the reasoning behind my not being alive.
Today I lost someone so very dear to me. His name was Papa Frank (well to me anyway). I have known and loved the man since i was 2 1/2 (i am almost 20 now). He had been fighting diabetes for a really long time. And kidney failure and dialysis aren't good to a man's body. He passed away at 1:18am (California time) too many miles from me. I shall miss him terrible and even now feel as though i may burst into those terrible tears again.

I live, but my heart has died within me. She can no longer beat when she is so broken. I live, but my soul has died within me. He has no room to hold all the grief spilling from within this shell. And so, embraced by death's wicked arms, they slip off into the eternal rest. Along with he I loved, death doesn't seem so bad.