Okay, so today is Wednesday... I think.
I am slightly out of it due to so many familial problems. Found out yesterday that my parents are getting a divorce. Take that as you will, I am slightly in shock.
Further more, I can't help but feel like my step-father (aka: dad) is throwing away 15 years of being my father. Its as if the past 15 years have meant nothing, because now he won't even speak to me. On the advice of his attorney. Not only that, but I'm worried about my sister. She is about to be caught in a MAJOR custody battle, which is something I had hoped would never happen to her. And I'm scared that if Dad gets custody that I'll never see her again. Now that maybe an irrational fear, but ladies and gents, with the way things have been going I never know. And I feel like i'm so far away from them all now that I can't help anyone or even help myself! I'M SCARED!!! Scared of not knowing what the hell is going to happen next... I seem to get hit the hardest with all this bullshit! I am just to tired to deal with any of it anymore. I'm tired of being confused and scared and in pain! TIRED OF IT!!!
Now, why am I telling you all this? because I don't how else to express my emotions. I can't even express it in poetry. I can't even begin to find the words that might be able to express myself. all that is happening is that my heart is breaking and i have no shoulder to lean on right now. Well, Fawny and Arlin are here, but they are going through their own shit right now, so why should I burden them with mine? And because i feel that even if I don't know you in person, you are all my friends if you take the time to read this. And I want to thank you all for that. Besides that, as Blanche Dubois (Vivien Leigh) says in "A Streetcar Named Desire", "Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers."
Thank you for being my "strangers" and for all your kindness.
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