Randomness, the dose of the day (dA)

Journal Entry: Tue Feb 5, 2008, 4:06 PM

• Mood: Mortified
• Listening to: Counting Bodies Like Sheep by APerfectCircle
• Reading: Dracula by Bram Stoker
• Watching: House MD
• Drinking: Fruit Punch

I'm in a morbid mood today, for some reason. Therefore, I've decided to give you a random dose of randomness. Because of this, you get to read about moi. Although, you have probably already read it (since I posted it as a deviation as well), you can read it again here. I love randomness and morbidity, here it goes. TA DA!!

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I am quiet. I am loud. I am scared and I am courageous. I am of the best and worst parts of Marilyn Monroe and Edgar Allan Poe. I am dying from the human condition. But I'm not dead yet! I have a soul and a mind. I am filled with pains and joys. Loves and hates. I am destined to be tragic. But that doesn't mean I can't be amazing while I'm here. I have a heart and an imagination. I am of the Earth and people of the Earth. I am made of music and dancing. Light and darkness. I am a contradiction. But that doesn't mean that I can't be one or the other. I have loved and been loved.

I have lived a thousand years in 19. I have seen all there might be to see that is evil in this world. But I'm hanging on for the beauty. I love guns. I hate violence. I love poetry and I hate prejudice. I am of poetry and clear dark oceans that drag you down to the depths of satin waves. I have seen the stars through a child's eyes. I have lived in my skin. And I have known what it was like to be loved. I dream. And I live for the future as I gaze back to my past.

I have been hurt, abused, abandoned and used. But I am not broken. I may be bruised from life's many hardships, but my soul remains unbroken by it. I am invisible and apparent. I can sing and scream and dance. I have thoughts and ideas. I am not just a body, but a soul unchained within a mortal frame. I will never be perfection. I never claim to be brillant or beautiful. But each of us is beautiful in our own way. I am wrong sometimes. And right other times. I have hopes and wants and desires.

I am of the wind, restless and powerful. Just look into my eyes. I am made of the best parts of light and darkness. Within them I am completely safe. I am alive and live is what I intend to do with my life. I am of ice and fire. A dangerous and chaotic marriage of the two. I can be hateful, selfish and impatient. I can also be loving, tender and sweet. I bear the scars of life proudly. They are a part of me and always will be. I'm strange and wild. Calm and sometimes wise. I can show you worlds you didn't know existed. All you have to do is open your eyes!

I am violent and gentle. A strange mixture of course. I am intelligent and dumb. I am of the ocean, lightning and thunder. I am of the wind, the sun and moon, stars and clouds. I am of the atmosphere that surrounds us. Embraced by what can not be seen. Drowning, I have stood in the light of a new born sun. Breathless, I have stood in the courts of the moon and her lovers. I have seen the future and I have known the past. I live for today. I am outspoken and stubborn. Opinionated and sometimes rebellious.

And I am patiently waiting for whomever can love me for all these things and more.