Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Losing Hannah: The Final Chapter

My mother gave up custody of Hannah to Wes today.

I don't want to hear about having faith, I don't want to hear about how everything will work out, I don't want to hear any of the bullshit I know you are all going to tell me. Because I don't think I can stand it right now. I think if anyone sends me one note saying how they are sorry I will burst into tears or fly off the handle.

I feel like my heart got ripped out and then thrown into a meat grinder. I feel like everything is falling apart. I feel almost like nothing is worth living for. Don't worry, I won't do anything stupid. But I just need some time.

This is fucking ridiculous, all of it is. And its bullshit that we all have to go through this. I don't understand why my step-father has to be such a fucking bastard that he would rip us apart. Why is he destroying us like this? Why is he being like this?! What the fuck did we ever do to him? What did we do to deserve all this?

I hate him.
I hate God.
And right now I almost hate my mother.

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