To everyone who has ever been raped, sexually abused or had something inappropriately sexual happen to them, I'm here to say a few important things to you.
1. It is NEVER Your Fault. Place the blame completely and totally on the shoulders of the person who did this to you. If you are taking the blame, they are getting off scott-free. Which is Wrong. They violated your body, you didn't ask for them to do that, you did nothing to deserve what happened to you. This does NOT make you a bad person and it doesn't mean that you were bad person before it happened.
2. Please, PLEASE, Tell someone!! Tell someone what happened, an authority figure, an adult. You have no idea how important it is to tell someone about what happened so that something can be done. People who commit these acts will only escalate them and it can eventually lead to worse things for other people. Talk to the police about what happened, because later you could regret not talking to the police.
3. Seek some form of counseling. Sometimes it takes talking things out to a professional to get things straightened out. Talking to a professional does not make you crazy, it does not mean that you are screwed up for life. It just means that you realized that you needed more support than friends and family can give. That doesn't make you weak or stupid or dramatic. Needing help is normal. Everyone needs help.
The reason I'm saying all this is because somethings have been happening that put sexually related crimes into my mind. My sister for example. I am worried about what may or may not be happening to her while she is staying with my step-father and his "roommate". This roommate stays all night, alone with my little sister while her father is at work. That worries me.
I was raped at 3 1/2 by a family friend. My mother took me to someone who said nothing had happened to me. Even though I was showing all the classic symptoms of having been sexually assaulted and sexually abused. This was while we were in California visiting my Grandmother. When we got back to Indiana my mother took me to a counselor who said that I had indeed been been at the least abused sexually. By then everyone considered it to late to do anything. Luckily, this story has a happy ending. As far as we know, he didn't do anything to anyone else. But that's as far as we know.
I have been molested and sexually abused and sexually harassed my entire life. And I blamed myself for a really long time. I truly did believe that everything was my fault. I brought it on myself, or I deserved it. I didn't tell my mom about a lot of it until it was too late to do anything. I never went to the police until recently about different things. God only knows who else has been abused or is being abused because I never spoke up. That is something I regret.
I will admit, I am terrified of not only men, but women too because of all the stuff that has happened to me. And for a really long time I thought I would never be able to overcome it. But in the past year or so I have realized that I have to talk about what has happened and seek help. I've been in counseling many times. And I hate it. I hate having to relive that shit. But you know what? It helps. Knowing that this person is going to listen to me, they aren't going to judge me and will help me get through it is wonderful. Because sometimes friends and family can't help with these kinds of things.
So please, if you are currently being sexually abused or have been in the recent past, Do something. If not for yourself then for other women and men who may suffer because we never speak up.
Take back your power. Speak Up.
Here are links to Sexual Abuse Support Groups:
http://www.darkness2light.org/GetHelp/support_adult_survivor.asp (for survivors of child sexual abuse)
http://www.rainn.org/get-help/national-sexual-assault-online-hotline?gclid=CPO1jN-26JUCFSWlQAodtRIxeQ (online help for rape victims)
http://www.soundvision.com/Info/socialservice/sexabusevictimwest.asp (this one has a Muslim touch to it, but they are correct in everything that they say [except number 15, but you know that is a personal choice which one has to make. Whether you believe in a God or not, it can't hurt] and give important tips on how to deal with having been sexually abused, assaulted or harassed.)
I hope these help anyone who needs them.
1. It is NEVER Your Fault. Place the blame completely and totally on the shoulders of the person who did this to you. If you are taking the blame, they are getting off scott-free. Which is Wrong. They violated your body, you didn't ask for them to do that, you did nothing to deserve what happened to you. This does NOT make you a bad person and it doesn't mean that you were bad person before it happened.
2. Please, PLEASE, Tell someone!! Tell someone what happened, an authority figure, an adult. You have no idea how important it is to tell someone about what happened so that something can be done. People who commit these acts will only escalate them and it can eventually lead to worse things for other people. Talk to the police about what happened, because later you could regret not talking to the police.
3. Seek some form of counseling. Sometimes it takes talking things out to a professional to get things straightened out. Talking to a professional does not make you crazy, it does not mean that you are screwed up for life. It just means that you realized that you needed more support than friends and family can give. That doesn't make you weak or stupid or dramatic. Needing help is normal. Everyone needs help.
The reason I'm saying all this is because somethings have been happening that put sexually related crimes into my mind. My sister for example. I am worried about what may or may not be happening to her while she is staying with my step-father and his "roommate". This roommate stays all night, alone with my little sister while her father is at work. That worries me.
I was raped at 3 1/2 by a family friend. My mother took me to someone who said nothing had happened to me. Even though I was showing all the classic symptoms of having been sexually assaulted and sexually abused. This was while we were in California visiting my Grandmother. When we got back to Indiana my mother took me to a counselor who said that I had indeed been been at the least abused sexually. By then everyone considered it to late to do anything. Luckily, this story has a happy ending. As far as we know, he didn't do anything to anyone else. But that's as far as we know.
I have been molested and sexually abused and sexually harassed my entire life. And I blamed myself for a really long time. I truly did believe that everything was my fault. I brought it on myself, or I deserved it. I didn't tell my mom about a lot of it until it was too late to do anything. I never went to the police until recently about different things. God only knows who else has been abused or is being abused because I never spoke up. That is something I regret.
I will admit, I am terrified of not only men, but women too because of all the stuff that has happened to me. And for a really long time I thought I would never be able to overcome it. But in the past year or so I have realized that I have to talk about what has happened and seek help. I've been in counseling many times. And I hate it. I hate having to relive that shit. But you know what? It helps. Knowing that this person is going to listen to me, they aren't going to judge me and will help me get through it is wonderful. Because sometimes friends and family can't help with these kinds of things.
So please, if you are currently being sexually abused or have been in the recent past, Do something. If not for yourself then for other women and men who may suffer because we never speak up.
Take back your power. Speak Up.
Here are links to Sexual Abuse Support Groups:
http://www.darkness2light.org/GetHelp/support_adult_survivor.asp (for survivors of child sexual abuse)
http://www.rainn.org/get-help/national-sexual-assault-online-hotline?gclid=CPO1jN-26JUCFSWlQAodtRIxeQ (online help for rape victims)
http://www.soundvision.com/Info/socialservice/sexabusevictimwest.asp (this one has a Muslim touch to it, but they are correct in everything that they say [except number 15, but you know that is a personal choice which one has to make. Whether you believe in a God or not, it can't hurt] and give important tips on how to deal with having been sexually abused, assaulted or harassed.)
I hope these help anyone who needs them.
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