i just don’t understand....

Once again my parents may be getting divorced. Will they actually go through w/it this time? Nobody knows. The terrible thing is I almost wish they would. Because I can't stand to see them both in pain. And to be honest, I don't believe that my step-dad loves my mom anymore. Which may sound cruel, but I just don't think he does. The question is, is it fair to get a divorce when you know that your partner doesn't love you anymore? Or maybe they never did?
As you probably notice, I didn't say "is it right" i asked if it was fair. I know that God hates divorce and that he gave only three ways out of marriage: Death, Adultery, Unbeliever chooses to leave.
Besides that, where does it leave me? where does it leave my siblings? For years now, I've been fooling myself, saying that my "mixed" family was way better than some that my friends have. But it wasn't. It never has been. My parents' marriage is a sad one. Truthfully they are such polar opposites that I don't even understand how they came together. my mom says that "God sent him" to her. If that is true, then why is God allowing her to go through Hell and letting their marriage fall to pieces?
Now, don't give me the whole "God gave us free will" shit. I know all that stuff, I could write a book about it. I've lived my life believing that God is a "Gentleman" who doesn't interfere, He allows us to do what we do. But that doesn't make this any less confusing! How the hell am I supposed to know what God is saying? What He wants, if He is to much of a gentleman to intervene?!
I DON'T UNDERSTAND!!! And maybe I never will...
Then comes the even harder stuff. My father decided to leave my life when i was young and Wes is the only dad I've ever known. But I don't love him as my father. He makes me angry and sometimes I hate him. But I love him. Which is crazy. And all the times that they have talked about separating and divorcing I have wanted them to stay together for the sake of us. But now i see that i would rather they divorce than live like we do. How am I supposed to feel?! What I am supposed to do? I feel so helpless and lost and alone!